Broken heart. I’m crying

Story – Someone said he saw me killing someone with my own hands. He didn’t surrender me to the police but he told the rest what I have done instead. He said he saw me holding a sharp weapon and I have stabbed the person, at least a hundred times, to death when that person was straggling to stay alive. That person said the person I’m killing begged me. Begged me to let him/her stay alive. But I killed him/her anyways cause I have to. Ordered to kill that person.

Thoughts – I was trying to change. But my craziness is back again – to haunt me. I have nothing against anyone and I was hoping anyone has nothing against me. Living in this world is tough. I have to keep up with the pace everyone is walking. I can’t follow anymore. The more i tried to please someone, I failed. I have failed a hundred times. I’m surrendering to LIFE. The more i tried not to attitude to someone, my unstable mind drives me crazy again. LIFE. This is my life. I tried to work hard so that everyone recognizes my hardwork. I tried to be funny so I can entertain people. Attitude is me. I’m attitude. There are some people who can’t accept the way I’m, they critises me. There are some people who don’t know the way I’m thinking, they critises me – again. There are some people I love to be with, for some reasons, they left me. I don’t know what’s the hell wrong with me. Everything I do, unpleases everyone. If i had a chance. I would walk away. Walk to somewhere and start all over again. And then I will ask everyone “would you want to be my friend?” to start anew. A new me.

I promise I’ll be good. I promise I’ll be nice. I promise I’ll never break any promises again. I will never break any of my promises. Please don’t kill her. She’s my little child. Precious little baby. I swear I’ll never never leave you, my little baby. I swear.