Perhaps Love?

Even Amin can tell i’m so quiet today. “what happen to u today huh? normally u r like a parrot talking non stop.” haha. when amin say this i was like laughing at him. yeah. i admit i’m a bit not in my old self. Even damien can see i’m not happy when i went to work today. but his cold jokes aint working on me. and ended up he got suan by me. haha. he ask me why whenever he see me outside, i’m ‘angry’. hahaha. he’s just not his luck. but perhaps he’s a nice person. wati is so bad today. she put whip cream on my face when i tot she’s going to eat it, and i laughed too loud. damn. i got shocked till i don’t know that’s a shout or laugh. haha.. so erin let me do bar.. play play inside. hahaha. play until it’s time to go hm..

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duckie‘s not feeling well today. ytd he told me he wants to look for me today but i refused. he said doc came to see him and say he got blood circulation problem. so his sister will bring him to see a doc tml. he wanted to look for me ytd too. i refused. i don’t even wanna talk to him. shd be, i don’t even feel like talking to anyone. sorry darling i walked away ytd. i’m so tired frm everything. i’m running away from what is seems to be our problem. i don’t like it when duckie is so petty. can’t he just believe me or i’m not that trustworthy person? crap. asking me some i-can’t-ans & those-can’t-be-ans qns. what he want me to do? when i nvr give him a reply, he will walk very fast. duh. i had enough of everything. him. him. him. and him.

Jas called me ytd. it’s so rare. he hasn’t call me since he got gf. so he called me ytd to complain about his gf. attitude. at least my attitude is better than his gf. haha. but i just listen to whatever he wanna say. chatted on fone for an hr.. and duckie say i chatted for very long.. -_- sigh. jas ah. funny guy who keep saying he wanna kiss my lips. -_- lame guy. haha.

ytd, it was fang chew who sms me, now it’s damien. ahaha. everyone is taking turn to sms me? alright lah. haha. at least i got someone to chat with and to talk to. damien saw me unhappy just now so he’s asking me wat’s wrong. yeah. i love my perfume. ha.

i finally realised that.. he made me realise this. it’s the past he‘s hanging on to. and, i’m not going to live in that past anymore. not anymore. i was suppose to be happy today. he saw me replying sms to darling.. he wanted to snatch my hp away. but i hold it on my hand.. tightly.. i tot i haben see him for a long time.. i can at least make myself feel much more better. first he say my shoes is like auntie and is very ugly. den he scold me for using my hp. den after that he take out the past and say. say what i used to do this to him too. ha. but the prob is i NVR HAD ANY ATTEMPT TO SNATCH HIS HP FROM HIM OR STOP HIM FROM REPLYING HIS FRIENDS. and i nvr say anything to him man. saw that violent girl (oops, i mean brenda.. haha) & damien outside lido.. at least they make me smile for awhile. violent girl (oops, i mean brenda lah.), bought ice cream and we ate. after that i went to lucky plaza to look for him. den we went back to lido cos he wants to watch “Perhaps Love“, and we have already bought the tickets. from the beginning till the time we went home, i didn’t talk to him more than 5 sentences. brenda & damien watched the same show at the same time as me. saw brenda when i walked out and i tot of walking frm orchard mrt to bus stop she tap on my shoulder. sigh. and i saw no sign of him, so i have to look for him. den i took my bus hm.. and managed to catch the last 242 hm. otherwise i will have to walk hm already.

p.s. if u think i haven’t love u for the past 2 yrs, think again. haha. perhaps even u think again.. the ans will be, yes u nvr love me at all. that’s what u have been thinking. and i seriously dislike people to think me FROM the way they think. oh this is crap. if u were to think me that way, i have got nothing to say cos history repeats itself. and if u dun wanna watch that movie with me, pls dun ask me. i dun wanna waste money to get another hp if u manage to break my hp into halves. dun use such an excuse saying i keep smsing when i didn’t and try not to sms much. thank you. u despise me? it’s nothing new too. cos u did from the start. i have given u my heart. my soul. my time. my energy. my tears. my anger. my frustration. my everything. it’s ur thoughts that are breaking us down.