i hate it. i hate it. i hate it. i hate it.

need to study..

fuck, leave me alone.

i dont wanna upset u, thus, i chose to keep it from u. am i wrong? it’s true that there is nothing going on.. but ur words hurts me when u say “let’s go our way”.. are u implying a break up again? sorry, i can’t take it anymore. i hate it. reali hate it. it’s not i didnt think of how u feel b4 my actions. simple, if u trust me & my actions, dun doubt me. but den each time u said something lidat, u make me sound like i’m having affair with someone else and kept it from u. if u ever break up with me again, i swear to god or whoever be my witness, i’ll NVR EVER patch up with u no matter how much u say u wanna be with me. time will prove everything. i do things my way, but i did not screw things up. or perhaps in some situation, yah.. i tried to prevent everything, but things got worse. it’s fine with me. after all, this r/s wun last long as long as we behave in this manner. i tried my very best to give u my best though sometimes i know i treated u bad with my attitude. but talking to u is like… talking to the wall or sometimes i feel so discouraging from u when i tell u stuffs. i don’t even think u r listening to me. sometimes i wondered, did u ever lie to me. if u think nothing u do pleases me vice visa, den we shd really go our own way. den u wun have to try so hard to please me anymore. but i do love u.

i hate to be a small kid in front of everyone. i hate it. i need to grow up. treat me as a grown up please and stop saying i’m a small kid. i’m no more.

she had finally stopped her “bill out” thingy. yes. peace. and shocking thing is, she went out with this cambolia guy who was a regular at TCC.. tim doesnt like it. whatever. i have no mood to talk anymore nor do i have the mood to study.

i wake up late today.. was supposed to meet them (bren, damien & fang chew) at 12noon at when i woke up mama was washing clothes so i sms them that i’ll meet them at 2pm instead. so we went for a walk for a little while den we went to cineleisure becos i’m hungry.. den after that we went to nydc bcos bren wants to eat ice-cream. den we took a bus down to cityhall and meet everyone there while some went there (CHIJMES) straight. we spend many hrs there eating, slacking, taking pics.. i ordered a linguine.. damn.. it’s so spicy till i have to keep drinking water.. lol.. and there is this cute guy there.. damn.. lol~ it was so much fun till i don’t where to begin.. and suzy got herself drunk and she keep pinching me.. damn!! it’s so pain~~~ and suzy was like “where is that bitch?” and i was like “huh? who?”.. den she mouthed the word “Patricia“.. wahahaha. after all, she-who-shall-not-be-named make her drunk. lol.. the fun part was abd and bren got throw into the fountain.. lOL~ almost everyone was there except nana, amin & mason. there is a total of 21 persons with a total bill of $360 bucks. loL~

watched tv the whole day and feel so lazy to go out.. loL~ so i went out only at 7plus at nite and reach bugis at abt 8pm.. duckie acc me so we went to take the sim card which val’s fren has lost.. i’m such a nice person..muahaha.. anyways, den we went to watch “Final Destination 3″… and den we went to tcc to have dinner.. wahahaha.. den we walk and sit for awhile den go home.. lol~

even though i’m aching all over my body, but geez.. things work out for me today.. with a little bit of attitude. as usual, when it comes to she-who-shall-not-be-named, my attitude towards her SUCK.. realised something? each time she’s the shift-in-charge, i fucking have NO chance to CLOSE bar when i’m SUPPOSED to. thanks. and in the end, she got some problem with the cashier and i was giggling behind. loL~ that makes my night better.. muahaha.. oh, there is this guy customer who asked for his bill 3 times and each time i couldnt give him bcos the cashier was cock up.. =] ooPs.. =P and in the end he walked to the cashier wanting to pay the bill by calculating the amt himself.. and when he took out his cash, the cashier is ready again.. lol.. and he keep calling my name and den tell me his name is call jeffery.. lol.. there is something wrong with the TCC card redemption thingy, oh watever.. i’m not the one doing cashier.. and end up suzy & sue helped she-who-shall-not-be-named to close bar. pUI~! i vacuumed the floor and den mop the floor bcos the rest are busy helping the she-who-shall-not-named to close bar.. when the she-who-shall-not-named went for her break, i took over the bar and helped her do some washing and of cos, i’m such a nice person and to show her that i’m nice, i helped her to do pre-close for the bar.. of cos to stall time so that i can ‘save up’ the drinking glasses so she could wash HERSELF.. pUI~ what kind of stupid bitch is she? she only wash the cups & glasses and NVR wash the spoons.. well, did she expect the spoons will wash themselves? muahahaha, and when she-who-shall-not-be-named came back from her break, she was like “wah, so many glasses”.. YES, i did it!! muahahaha~ and damien prepared 1 mushroom VAV for me.. yay~ i’m so happy bcos i got food. muahaha. and fang chew looked weird today.. without styling his hair i guess. oh btw, did i mention tim looked like a mushroom when he didn’t apply any gel on his hair? DAMN! he looked like a mushroom (chinese mushroom some more), i just can’t happy laughing.. and today, he became Captain Hook. =) with the paper cup and my paper ‘hook’.. we all had some laughter.. =] after all he can’t hook up with that ‘hook’. =P i simply HATE she-who-shall-not-be-named. =) guobin (my punching bag) have already close bar for 6 times and i.. only 2 times.. when will she get transfeR??? and when guobin told me that i’m suppose to close bar and end up she-who-shall-not-be-named doing cos she wants.. i feel like.. ARGH.. go n die man.. muahahaha. curse and swear at her.. good saying, Once a bitch, always a bitch. =]

and today ah ma was complaining because mama nvr tell her abt the medicine and she tell me instead of her bcos she’s the one who’s taking care of my elder bro.. =.= was it suppose to be my fucking problem? why complain to mE? den she was like, u better make sure he take his medicine day & night blah blah.. it’s getting on my nerves.. damn.. ma chiam got my problem..

met up with duckie today. he came to look for me.. bcos he wants to see me.. i’m getting a bit too tired of, let’s break up.. and den we got back together the next day.. i find us so silly.. it’s like “let’s break up” is nothing to us.. =.= and of cos i wasn’t too happy when he say go eat and den when we reach there he doesnt wanna eat anymore bcos everything is closed.. and those stalls that are still opened, he can’t eat. -_- he shd know that since i’m working until 10pm.. by then, everything will be closed and whatever is left, is whatever he can’t eat. he was lidat ytd too man.. tell me, how not to get flare up? my attitude towards him wasnt that good too.. very bad.. but den, i can’t control.. i hate it when he talk until he’s going aust and wouldnt be coming back. each time he talks, he behave as if he’s going to die the next min.. -_- den wat’s the point of us going out? whatever.. sometimes i’m soooo sick of thinking and i think i shd fall into deep slp n nvr wake up again so i dun have to face so many craps. i feel like after so many things, nothing seems to be right.. after so many things, i’m still so lost.. what shd i do man.. i have no money, no talent.. basically, i have nothing.. i didn’t want to treat him this way oso.. but sometimes, i m too straight forward and say whatever things tat’s in my head and ‘shoot’ at his words.. i feel like.. “damn.. i shdnt have done that.” and when we are in the train he mention things like “i’m dying” and den i was saying jokingly “wanna die, die 1 side”.. and he say he was hurt by that.. =.= whatever.. nothing i say is correct anyways.. time to go slp.. i still have to wake up a bit early and get the sim card for val’s fren and pass it to her.. which means i have ALOT of places to go. fuck.

i had a very bad day ytd.. it all started when i woke up in the morning and my left leg hooked onto the bed bar when i was trying to get out of the bed to switch off the fan.. and den my right leg hit onto the bed bar causing a little swollen.. and my head almost hit the floor.. and i hurt my back.. i slept with discomfort in me ytd nite.. i keep tossing here and there trying to find a suitable and comfortable position to slp..

things at work got worse.. sigh.. i only check where is my station and i just go stand there forgetting the rest of the station and when i took order from table 3.. the guy ordered a dessert which i neglected.. bcos i was busy with other customers.. and as usual, pat go ard giving orders.. =.= outrageous… who do she think she is? so the customer at table 3 complaint abt that and tim wasnt too happy abt it.. and of cos, i have fault too.. my fault is i din inform whoever is in-charge of station 3 and that person happens to be suzy.. and, i only gotta know it after the customer complaint. and when pat came to talk to me & suzy, i was ignoring her somehow. c’mon, she’s a floater, i’m a server.. with so many tables to handle, and i’m such a forgetful person.. they expect me to remember everyone’s order so everything can come out promptly? fuck it. my mood is bad enough.. but damien always manage to make me happy by giving me some wedges with cheese dip to eat! hahaha. he still want me to work until 10pm so he can treat me fishball noodle? haha.. or rather, i treat him? =.=

after tat i went to meet up with duckie… if he din come to wait for me, i could have work until 10pm instead of 8pm.. who will say no to extra money esp, got OT.. sigh.. den he asked me what to eat and i have no idea so i say go home.. on the way home, we didn’t speak any words until when we are going to reach JP soon, den he say “lend me 5 mins of ur time, got things to tell u”.. when i heard that i was like “what are u going to say to me this time?”.. harsh i may seemed to be.. den i walked towards JP bcos he say he wants to eat and den he say he cannot eat things that are hard.. how am i suppose to know what he can eat or what he cant eaT? am i suppose to be like a god knowing everything without telling me? am i? den we walked to the playground we always go.. den he say things like “i think u shd forget me”, “i think u shd stop wasting ur time on me”, “i wun live past 30 yrs old”.. everything else i can accept but definately not those sentences he said to me. i can accept that his heart got a hole.. i can.. but i can’t accept he saying those things den then next min tell me he doesn’t wanna break up with me, but he got no choice.. it’s hard to make this decision.. and since he made this decision what makes him think that i will listen to him when i dun listen to everyone? of cos he went to seek help from darling.. after everything i said, darling said i’n black hearted bcos i refuse to say whatever is on my mind to him. bren say i shd go talk to him. but i nvr will. he erase me from his life.. so why shd i bother when he wants to push me away? so what if i care? he doesnt want me to care.

we break up? did we? he doesn’t want me anymore.. thus, i don’t want him.. fair? not fair.. of cos i wanted to be with him NO MATTER what problems he has.. he thinks it’s fair and not selfish for him to break up with me bcos he got heart problem (a hole in his heart). but the problem is, i don’t care if he’s going live long or short.. all i wanted was to be with him.. if i wanted to leave him, i would have left him LONG TIME ago and not now.. can’t he see?? sigh… i m so upset when he said that “i only want to watch the last movie with u..”.. i dun wan what last movie man.. i wanted to go aust with u too man.. but wed – fri next week.. i got exam on thurs.. and i have no money for flight to aust.. tell me.. what am i suppose to do.. tell me.

pay in today.. but damn it.. it’s so little.. after paying money for this and that do i still have some left? not even to mention abt the bangkok trip. forget abt it, nvr gonna make it. when i was slpg in the morning at his hse, duckie‘s dog kept coming into the room after his mother get her out.. lol. and yes, i get to see my little booboo.. was it because i too long nvr see her or what, somehow she got fatter. =X den i hug and play with it.. muahaha.. it’s my normal reaction though.. =] den i went home already.. sigh. sigh sigh sigh.. damien still say May go genting play with bren & fang chew.. sigh sigh sigh.. nvr gonna make it.. he’s going to army soon oso.. wondered if that’s the case will i get to see booboo because he wants her… so i nvr get the chance to take her back.. it’s so weird to see her fat and so clean.. =X i preferred the old booboo though..

Went to work ytd and start of the work was a bit stupid bcos i wrote the wrong thing and take the correct cake out.. it was supposed to oreo cheesecake and i wondered why i wrote down devil’s chocolate cake instead of that. and so i charged the person more exp.. cos devil’s chocolate is more exp than the oreo cheesecake.. =X and tim saw it and den he helped me refund the money to the customer. so embarrassed. =X den work work work and was having quite alot of fun poking fun of that bitch-who-shall-not-be-named. and den duckie came to fetch me from work. and den he told me that he might be going to aust next wk and ask me whether i wanna go.. =.= if i’m straggling to afford to go bangkok what makes him think i can go aust? does he think that going aust is like going to sentosa? DUH. mocking at me. den i went to his hse to watch american pie2 and 3.. and it was late and no more bus home so i stay overnight at his hse (he slept at the living room of cos).. and i slept till 11plus in the morning den wake up.. play with his dog for awhile den i go home.. his mother was telling me ask duckie to go home early each time we go out bcos his dad dun like him to go home late.. well, it’s not like i din.. he doesn’t want.. so i went home and tada… i’m home loh.. wahahaha. ok lah. time to go bath and den slp again.. tired.. =)

I worked morning shift today and wake up promptly at 5.30am. went to take a shower and saw that it was still early so i take my own sweet time to cut my nails and stuffs and den stepped out of my hse at about 6.05am.. damn and waited for the bus and reached JP at about 6.30am.. damn, i am a bit late!! but amin helped me time in and when i reached there he has already almost finish opening the bar. great! haha. i help to do some stuffs like grinding the coffee beans, top up everything that i can top up for the afternoon lunch crowd and serving curstomers breakfast and drinks.. and hope i did a good job.. sigh.. the more i think abt my job, the more i think the pay was pathetic (are they ever going to raise my pay a bit?).. and the hours was even more pathetic.. each wk, i only work 23 hrs.. in this way, i’m Nvr gonna have enough money for the bangkok trip.. forsake it.. we are nvr gonna make it.. so pat came in for work at 10am today. damn.. i don’t know where is OMB so i didn’t go. haha. scare i lost my way out there.. the world is big.. den brenda came in at abt 11am today even though she supposed to start work at 12noon.. damn, i was sooo touched when she pass me the card and pics we took. =) kekez. and she was like “so did u wake up on time”. lol~ oh man~ and yeah man.. i feel like i’m pat today.. there was this table uncleared and abd was there with her, so i thought he’s gonna help her to clear and so i took the bill and just walk away. lol. after that when i turn back to see only her clearing the table. lol. serve her right. lol. when i was preparing java (coffee) take away and i accidentally throw the cap that was used to put out the fire BESIDE the fire.. i quickly shout for amin for help~ and i realised… PAT was beside me ALL THE TIME.. and she din fucking help me. when will she ever learn? lol. anyways, amin was trying to be funny today. when i was packing the cakes for take-away, amin told the customers that we are having a “promotion”.. and that is, buy 2 cakes and get ME free. damn. lol. so i told the customers that we are having “promotion”, buy 1 cake and get AMIN free. lol~ apparently no one wants him. lol. stupid amin. lol. and working with a pervert like him scares the hell out of me. no lah, i was just kidding. lol. bren (my gf) keep coming to strangle me.. i think she’s somehow hooked onto that. this is her last wk in TCC already.. gonna miss her.. but we can always meet up and bitch and eat chicken wings. muahaha.. lol~ but it was fun.. hohohoho.. duckie came to fetch me after work today.. and i was out late for 20 mins? and he was complaining already.. next time dun come loh. and den i went to his hse and thought i could fall aslp.. but he keep disturbing me.. sigh.. but i wasnt that slpy yet.. and his dog kept coming in too. haha… and i only fall aslp ard evening time.. and i don’t feel so comfortable going to his hse to take a rest.. i scare his mother will say me bcos i have been slpg at his hse whenever i go these days.. den i watch the movie he d/l and den go home.. had dinner at his hse.. oh, how i missed cooking days.

i stayed at home the whole day today.. wake up got a mild headache and that send me back to dreamland again.. as i was slpg until very song, the cover of the light DROPPED suddenly and hit my legs.. i tot “damn, which idiot wakes me up”.. and den i saw the cover… muahaha.. but i went back to slp again.. damn, i’m so bloody tired man.. it feels like i haven’t slept for days… den i called him.. but he hang up my call and den off his hp.. sigh.. all i wanna do is to get back my toys.. and den later on he sms me back, saying he wun return me the toys.. he say he wun give me the chance to lie to them and den ill treat them.. but then prob is i NVR ill treat my toys b4 and nvr give tooty a chance to bite them. the prob is, when i missed them, i have no chance to see them at all.. and he wun let me see them.. damn.. all i wan is to take them home so i dun have to miss them and can’t see them.. the feeling damn suck.. and he still claims he knows me. =_= whatever.. i will bug him till i get back my toys. humph.

meet up with duckie after his work today for dinner.. we went to have hor fun at blk 492.. lol.. den we went to the usual playground and chat there until almost 11pm den we go home.. i will be going to his hse tml after work cos i working 7am -3pm tml.. and of cos i will doze off at his hse tml.. muahaha.. tat’s what i always do lah.. =X hug the tigger and feel so damn tired and doze off.. =X i will be going to his on tues after work too.. to save money bcos i’m quite broke this wk.. muahah.. until the day i get my pay otherwise i will remind poor. =(

was supposed to go beach with bren today.. but tiredness.. stopped me.. haha.. i wake up at 8plus den fall back to bed and fall aslp again.. muahaha.. and den wake up ard late afternoon.. so after i wake up, i sms her apologise to her for waking up late and she say she postpone the beach outing to the wk after next bcos she got exam next wk.. den we chat for awhile using sms.. and den i realised, my gf and bf’s bday is the same! damn.. i have to spilt myself into halves. muahaha. anyways, i will see her tml.. =)

oh ya, brandon.. my sister ex bf got fooled! this mth where got 29 days? muahahhaa.

at the BIG APPLE says:
u really gettin married ah? congrats..
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
yeah man
at the BIG APPLE says:
seriously eh..
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
yah
at the BIG APPLE says:
k la..wat u wan fer present..say wat I oso know u fer 4 yrs liao..
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
hmm
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
let me thin den i tell u
at the BIG APPLE says:
haha..ok..but honestly..congrats..
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
yeah man
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
rem mus come
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
venue will tell u later
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
on
at the BIG APPLE says:
huh?ok..on..
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
haha
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
=D

here’s my another fren. =)

Domo wants to kuchi people says:
yoz
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
harloe
Domo wants to kuchi people says:
arried
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
yah
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
getting married
Domo wants to kuchi people says:
really huh
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
yah
Domo wants to kuchi people says:
congrats
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
thans
Domo wants to kuchi people says:
so fast
Domo wants to kuchi people says:
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
hah
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) on the 29th Feb, i’m getting married.. and everyone is invited. =) says:
y leh
Domo wants to kuchi people says:
no lah,just surprised
Domo wants to kuchi people says:
best wishes to u

muahah. this proves oone thing.. ppl dun see calendar. =) muahaha. nite. working morning shift~ =]