this is my x no. time of blogging today. and i just finish talking with monkey.. oh well.. at least he called.. 6 yrs of friend indeed.. so when i say, after a break up normally the one consoling me was my friend of so many years.. not even gf give me a call.. but she did console me thru sms.. i don’t know if what i m doing is rite.. but i just wanna do whatever i think is rite for myself.. nvr gonna let me get myself hurt by some unknown reasons. and when i think how stupid i am.. i am really stupid. but monkey is correct. i shd give duckie back the nokia 6111 and buy 1 hp that truly belongs to me. that’s what i will do. =] but my heart for r/s is dead along with duckie.. i love him & all i get back is this.. every single r/s is a lesson learnt. stop being gullible. ah, how nice. i need to rest now. will be meetin monkey to acc him to NUH tml afternoon. gd nite to the world.

no, i do not wish to see him ever. asshole. and NO MORE of this kind of sicko relationship. fucking wasting my time when i could have use it somewhere else.

sometimes the way people treat me makes me feel like i m unworthy of everything. since young till now. even duckie lies to me. he admitted that everything that he said to me is all lie…… i can’t believe it. so when i asked him why he lied, he say because he’s bored.. apparently, he dun care abt how i feel exactly. each time people ask me to spare a tot for others, den may i ask who spare a tot for me? not even duckie. to know that he lied to me that he has heart problem. he lied about he went to aust for his heart problem. he lied about him being debarred. he lied about him got a chance to viva. he lied about him failed his final year project. finally i got my ans to why he say army doesn’t allow him to defer. bcos whatever he said was all lies. he lied to me. why did he in the 1st place wanna lie? i tried hard to believe him because he’s my bf….. it looks like he doesn’t even want tis relationship at all, so why shd i bother abt him in the 1st place? breaking up might be a good idea. after all i did not like to be lied at. so long.