shivering. i thought the rain will wake me up from my nonsense. but i experienced coldness. now, i truly experience how ruthless one person could become. i was hoping to be that kind of person. to be bitch, and a slut. it’s difficult. i can’t even face the fact that duckie lied. i can’t even face the fact he said i m never a good gf. maybe i reali am not. ever since that genting trip, i just couldnt feel happy at all. it makes me feel a bit regret. and i feel even more sad even since we came back. i m only happier when i went there and play those games.. and i hate myself even more. that’s it.. living aimlessly. that’s who i reali am. i feel like… why does HE DO WRONG, and makes it sound like i m wrong too? and by saying those hurtful words. i am reali hurt. i cried. and no one help me. i have gotta help myself. i m reali sick.