LEAVE ME ALONE. i don’t feel happy at all, but den each time when i’m out with my fren watching soccer, i have to be “happy”. when i go work, i have to “leave” everything behind and be “myself”. and then realised that he can be so close with a girl, and den say he has got nothing with that girl. i’m close with my guy fren, i have something with my guy fren. or perhaps suddenly, that guy fren of mine, became my “bf”.. lol. holy crap. the “mature” mentality of a certain someone. ah, it sets me pondering abt the past. why do i have to be so ‘persistent’? because, i needed & wanting an apology from them.. knowing i wouldn’t get.. ha. he say, whatever donald say is what he will say too. why does everyone has to make me sound like i’m always at fault. no, i’m not a saint… nor i’m a goddamn sinner. yes, wati have my interest bcos i always complaint my pay is little. but somehow, no matter how i work, the pay is still little. and i’m feeling down now. why can’t i even feel upset?? he can even say cindy chuan how good.. and i’m how bad.. hahaha. so getting a guy piggy back her in the sch consider a good gf, den i might consider doing that too! if that makes me a good person.. or maybe i shd ask her for some useful tips “how to be someone’s good gf and still can go out with guy frens without getting scolding and i’m still a good gf”. the thing is, everyone is doing the same, but ONLY i’m a bitch. oh well, ALL guys is against me.. who says once a guy goes into army, he will “start to think maturely”? i think that’s bullshit. i dun like to be a good person.. i like to be the baddie now. it’s the “IN” thing now anyway. haha. now, mama asking me for money for my hp bill. and what? i only got $205 for this wk’s pay. it’s not as if the next pay i will get alot too. i seriously need money. my hp bill already cost me $104.. duh.. yes, gf is good to me. always helping me to pay for my food when i don’t have enough money. but, i don’t feel good. den duckie say, u don’t earn alot money. i know i don’t. but, i don’t even know what i wanna work as. so after today’s 10 hrs shift, i went to meet monkey to watch WC again at J.E.. to make myself a happier woman. watch WC makes me happy. but i’m tired already. sometimes, i think about my frenship with gf.. how strong is our frenship? i ask her out, she’s not free. but ppl ask her out, she’s free. or am i being sensitive? all i know is, i don’t wanna talk to ANYONE in tcc about ANYTHING anymore. it’s wasting my breathe and still haven’t get any conclusion in the end. or was it because i’m really useless? nah, i don’t even wanna think about that. let me be me. let me die or either survive. but, i think again.. if i ever die, who will shed tears for me? hahaha.. most probably, everyone will just celebrate my death with champ… ahaha… yeah man.. i’m not worth anyone crying for.. that’s why tooty always barked at me.