went to attend wedding dinner at Grand Hyatt. it’s my gugu’s son’s wedding. 7 years of long run r/s. how envious. hahaha. the meal there is quite ok. drink some red wine and gave it to my sister bcos i dun wanna drink finish. so my sister drank like 5-6 glasses and my gugu ask her “u drank already ah?” when she was reading a book. =_= before that, there’s a guy who asked me if i’m alvin‘s (alvin is my kor kor who is the groom) colleague. do i look old? duh.. den after that went to meet monkey to watch world cup. czech republic : ghana.. the match is interesting. czech republic got 1 red card and so they are reduced to 10 men. so the score is 0:2. after the match we went to eat at LJS. after that we went back to watch the next match, italy:usa.. if not for the guy who scored an own goal for usa.. the score would be 1:0.. italy would have won instead of having a draw 1:1… the match is almost very interesting when usa reduced to only 9 man, bcos they have got 2 red cards. and den italy reduced to 10 men bcos they received 1 red card. can see the usa is playing rough at the 1nd half of the game. duh. lucky, usa’s 2nd goal cannot be counted bcos it’s offside. phew.. after that we wait for the morning train to go hm.. thus, i’m feeling so tired now. haha. keep watching world cup matches. and i’m going to watch the brazil :aust match at 12mn later too. =)

LEAVE ME ALONE. i don’t feel happy at all, but den each time when i’m out with my fren watching soccer, i have to be “happy”. when i go work, i have to “leave” everything behind and be “myself”. and then realised that he can be so close with a girl, and den say he has got nothing with that girl. i’m close with my guy fren, i have something with my guy fren. or perhaps suddenly, that guy fren of mine, became my “bf”.. lol. holy crap. the “mature” mentality of a certain someone. ah, it sets me pondering abt the past. why do i have to be so ‘persistent’? because, i needed & wanting an apology from them.. knowing i wouldn’t get.. ha. he say, whatever donald say is what he will say too. why does everyone has to make me sound like i’m always at fault. no, i’m not a saint… nor i’m a goddamn sinner. yes, wati have my interest bcos i always complaint my pay is little. but somehow, no matter how i work, the pay is still little. and i’m feeling down now. why can’t i even feel upset?? he can even say cindy chuan how good.. and i’m how bad.. hahaha. so getting a guy piggy back her in the sch consider a good gf, den i might consider doing that too! if that makes me a good person.. or maybe i shd ask her for some useful tips “how to be someone’s good gf and still can go out with guy frens without getting scolding and i’m still a good gf”. the thing is, everyone is doing the same, but ONLY i’m a bitch. oh well, ALL guys is against me.. who says once a guy goes into army, he will “start to think maturely”? i think that’s bullshit. i dun like to be a good person.. i like to be the baddie now. it’s the “IN” thing now anyway. haha. now, mama asking me for money for my hp bill. and what? i only got $205 for this wk’s pay. it’s not as if the next pay i will get alot too. i seriously need money. my hp bill already cost me $104.. duh.. yes, gf is good to me. always helping me to pay for my food when i don’t have enough money. but, i don’t feel good. den duckie say, u don’t earn alot money. i know i don’t. but, i don’t even know what i wanna work as. so after today’s 10 hrs shift, i went to meet monkey to watch WC again at J.E.. to make myself a happier woman. watch WC makes me happy. but i’m tired already. sometimes, i think about my frenship with gf.. how strong is our frenship? i ask her out, she’s not free. but ppl ask her out, she’s free. or am i being sensitive? all i know is, i don’t wanna talk to ANYONE in tcc about ANYTHING anymore. it’s wasting my breathe and still haven’t get any conclusion in the end. or was it because i’m really useless? nah, i don’t even wanna think about that. let me be me. let me die or either survive. but, i think again.. if i ever die, who will shed tears for me? hahaha.. most probably, everyone will just celebrate my death with champ… ahaha… yeah man.. i’m not worth anyone crying for.. that’s why tooty always barked at me.

all i ask of u was to apologise to me.
but end up, i always get myself into trouble.
slut. that’s what u called me on tuesday.
i will always remember that.
first, u said i behave like a bitch.
now, i’m a slut.
nothing too good for u.
people with pride.
it wouldn’t led u anywhere.
but that’s not all that makes me unhappy.

i was “forced” to do OT today.
when i told wati “i don’t feel like doing OT today”..
she say “U know u can’t say “no” rite?”..
thus, i have NO choice at all.
and den gf smsed “gf, sorry to ask.. but will u return me the $50?”..
she makes me sounded like i will run away with that $50..
this makes my day even more worse.
i don’t even feel like talking to anyone at all.
i went to the toilet and the feeling of wanting to cry just came to me..
realising, maybe i made another terrible mistake by staying in tCC.
holy crap..
i’m having 2nd thoughts now.
should i, shouldn’t i?
ha.
this makes me terribly upset.
i just kept crying for nothing.

den he came out from tekong today.
because he‘s going to the graduation day tml.
i wanted to meet him.
thought i might able to knock off from work early
but i was “Forced” somehow to do the bloody OT.
because, iaasc is on MC today.
i covered starkey on mon..
and i have to cover iaasc today..
why ppl can say “no”, and i can’t?
bcos i’m going to be full time?
tat’s not an excuse.
i’m still taking part timer’s pay.
the very pathetic $4.50/hr with $0.80 of allowance/hr.
and everything just make me so flare up.
why work so much when i don’t earn much for working so much in the 1st placE?
only let ppl have more chance and more excuses to look down on me.

and den, donald say i’m useless.
no..
i’m not.
don’t treat me like a rubbish.
i sure have my own good way.
i just hate myself.
reali do.
there is no point always try to please everyone and den make urself so unhappy.
i’m happy when ppl is happy.
but, i’m not happy now.
nothing i do seems to be right.
to the hell i shall go.
they could make me happy
but they always choose to say things to hurt me.
i hate to please anyone.
f*ck off alright?
i don’t need anyone who doesn’t needs me.
or it’s time to get new friends?
or, i don’t need friends at all?

went to watch spain : ukraine at coffee club. they got thrashed by spain until.. omg.. the score was 4:0.. spain has it’s first lucky goal at the 14 mins of the game.. damn. some of the goals that they make, the goalkeeper only managed to touch the ball and not managed to save it. hands too short. later got germany : poland. damn. i wanna watch!! but cannot because i gotta work tml. sigh..

Korea : Togo = lucky. didnt watch the match until we reach town at 2200hrs and saw that they goal at the 2nd half of the game when the game was almost over. thus, the score is 2:1.. after that we went to play computer game. and i learned how to play pangya, the golf game.. duh. lol. so lousy at that game. lol.

France : Switerland = boring. sat there for 90 mins + 15 mins of break time and the score is 0:0. lol. boring. *yawn* den we went to play computer game again. lol.

Brazil : Croatia = exciting. kaka score a goal at 44 mins of the game, when it was nearly end of the first half. yay!! and croatia, had almost score 3 goals.. but it was all blocked by the goal keeper. it feels like the ball was looking for the goal keeper bcos every ball that was saved, was so directly kicked into the arms of the goal keeper. =P thus, the score is 1:0. brazil won! haha. the team that i supported. why? cos i like the color of their soccer shirt. LOL! ronaldo was replaced by another player because my fren said he got injured at the league game.. he bcome fat. eeeyer.. until i couldn’t reali recongnise is him! haha. den we waited for the 1st train. thus, i’m here writing. k, i’m reali very slpy already. lOL! time to slp~

worked 11 hours today. was supposed to work until 4pm. but starkey was on MC, so i replaced him. =) things happened in the outlet and i dun wish to comment on it. just some bitch lah. and her doings. it only makes me feel disgusted even more. dun wish to think anymore. when i think abt wati cried jus now, it makes me hate that person even more. how i wished i could go up to her and scold her “Hey u bitch, shut the fuck up. u have cause enough trouble here and it’s time u fuck off now.”.. bitch. and iaasc went to buy a teddy bear for wati.. and with amin came by the outlet, she feels better. sigh, but there is nothing i can do to help wati feel better. to my dearest wati, u are always the best ok? dont let this bitch destroy u. we love u.we feel the same as u do. for a big mouth and an attention seeker, we just dun have to pay much attention to her. like i said, a leapord can nvr change its spots, no matter how much time u give to it. so, we dun have to expect person like her will change into a “better” person or whatsoever. once branded as a bitch, she will always be one. her behaviours tells us so.

haha. came across the reverse bungy video while i was surfing my laptop.. so i decided to post it up. since not many ppl watch it. and pls, DO NOT ON UR SPEAKER LOUD. the shouting can be horrendous. LOL. nvm abt the talking. LOL. it’s all rubbish. and i know i’m noisy. =P

wahaha, it’s stay at home sunday! muahaha. woke up ard 3plus and den watch “Da chang jing” until time to go out for movie & dinner (mama give me money for dinner as well bcos she’s not cooking) with monkey.. went to watch “The Omen” at JP bcos i have no money to travel far & i’m lazy. nothing much interesting abt that movie, except the part where the dog jumped out scared everyone of us.. that’s it. haha. 2 hours show.. and it’s nothing.. duh.. and then there was this girl sitting beside me and kept screaming my schedule for work this coming week is pathetic. i only work 20 hrs this coming week and it’s the maximum tat i can work.. but nvm, which means i have more time to spend with amy. haven’t been visiting her for awhile and kinda miss her. ok lah, nothing much to say anyway. i wanna go buy that interesting book to read when i get my pay. =) or perhaps when i get my next next paY? ahah..