ytd was working and closed bar.. and i have got so many things to do.. but i still managed to close on time with missy‘s help.. =] after that me, damien & missy went to clarke quay to eat.. after we reached there and realised, everyone else doesn’t wanna eat and my plan was smashed into pieces. =_= den we went straight to town bcos we wanted to watch superman (or shd i say it’s damien? we wanted to watch cars.. but the cinema only have for the morning session.. =_- spoiler.) we went to p.s to buy our tickets and “good” enough, our seats is the 2nd row right side from the front. and my eyes was so tired till i closed my eyes and tears flow out. =X the guy is pretty handsome but i like spiderman better.. =X anyways, when we come out of the cinema, we went to watch england:portugal (0:0) while missy went back hm.. and it was half time so we hang around.. and the match starts.. the thing is, during the 2nd half, beckham was injured and rooney was sent off with a red card after pushing his opponent.. and they have extra time (30 mins) and there isn’t any goals.. so their game was determined by penalty shoots.. and portugal won!! damien was quite sad though.. cheer up.. it’s only a game. den me & fang chew went to eat at cineleisure (LJS) while damien & his bro went home.. den we went to level 9 to watch brazil:france (0:1).. the game was pretty interesting. and entertaining of cos.. was feeling sad that brazil lost to france but in a game, there is always winner and loser.. if everyone is a winner, den who is the loser? always learn from the mistakes.. den we went to sit outside taka and stone for awhile and den we start chit chatting.. talked about jiayong‘s behaviour.. well, of cos i still reserved my opinion about him even though he can guess what kind of person i am. the strange thing is, jiayong asked me if i wanna go to his good fren’s bday chalet this coming sat.. and i somehow rejected him bcos my elder sis is gonna bring my family out for dinner. even i don’t have this as an excuse, i also dun even think i wanna go. i don’t even know his frens. and pat is going. and, i’m not that close with him till the extend that i shd go to his fren’s bday chalet. so we stay there and wait for morning train and fang chew “send” me home (to boon lay).. to give me a feeling of letting me reach home earlier than him. LOL. and so i treat him mac breakfast. den we went separated ways. and i’m thankful that he kept me accompany.. sigh..

woke up at about 3p.m and den amy called me today.. so i went to meet up with her.. and sure enough i was late.. feeling so bad. =[ so we went to TCC (atrium) to have dinner bcos i haven’t had chicken wings for a long time.. and i was lucky, the soup of the day happens to be chilli beef soup.. and it’s yummy.. so me & amy shared O.B marinated chicken & chicken wings, after that we just sit there and chill for a little while more and den we went shopping. i’m in luck, caught this pair of heels and rather cheap (renoma paris).. so i bought it and it’s pretty.. shall wear it when i’m quite vain.. haha.. den i oso bought the l’oreal toner which my mum tot is an empty bottle. =_= i almost flip and die.. reached home today to realised she packed my table and it’s messier bcos i couldn’t find my stuffs.. argh..

i finally have the courage to ask him.. but, he’s not free bcos he’s working till wee hours this wk and due to not enough staffs, thus he has no off day.. =[ oh well, i can understand. not that i don’t.. work is work after all. there is always a next time. maybe i should just wait till he’s free and willing to ask me out den i feel better.. haha.. maybe i will have to wait till my hair turns white or take amy‘s advise to dye it white? lame i know. maybe i shd just go and dream in my lala land hoping for the better. =] shall not put much hope in this frenship thingy and of cos i’m not thinking anything beyond normal frenship.. otherwise i will be disappointed.. just like i’m upset with certain someone’s reply ytd nite..

why did she choose to sms me when i was trying to keep myself happy and not to think about the things between her & me since things have came to this point when i was feeling sad & guilty for the past 1 wk after her bday celebrateion?? her 1st sms was “i wanted u to stand on ur own feet this time. i wanted u to stop behaving like a child n handle thinfs better. i wanted u to get used to the hardship. n be someone u can be proud of.”… when i show this sms, immediately, the happiness in my heart that i was trying to keep just gone within seconds. and i’m tired as well. i tried to take initiative to talk to her. keep apologising. but she refused to forgive me because she insisted on i will do the same thing again. and den what can i say? i WERE her closest fren.. and to realise, my CLOSEST fren was quite tired of me talking about my “bf” problems which was the thing that bothers me the most.. i was… i feel hopeless. when i was coughing so hard, i didn’t see her bother to ask me am i ok.. she was busy talking to iaasc all the time. at this point of time, i reali feel upset and i do have the urgue to cry and i did cry ytd nite. why can’t she think in my shoes? if she were me, what she will do? confused too? nevermind about that. she couldn’t forgive me, den there is nothing for us to talk about in the future. and everything ends here. if u think everything from the beginning is my fault, den please dun bother to talk to me. i can sense my invisiblity in RX. i don’t like to face u, not able to talk to u and joke to u like the past. in another words, i don’t like to see u when u r so near yet so far. u just dun understand. u don’t.