hatre.

if thinking of someone makes u unhappy, will u still think of her/him? sometimes thoughts just came lingering inside ur mind and then the more u think about the past, the more unhappy one’s get. but then again, when u missed that someone.. dere isnt anything u can do except to think about, someone whom u missed, what she/he hurts u “with”. and when u keep thinking about it and still unable to get it out of ur mind, and that’s the time u feel unhappy once more. i have no idea what’s going on. when he said he wants/will to celebrate my birthday, i was happy. but then when he just say thinking of me makes him unhappy, den it defy the purpose of celebrating my birthday. because seeing me makes him even more unhappy. am i right to say that? sometimes things lidat hurts. i kept telling myself, i have gotta GO AWAY.. and i always end up going back. what’s wrong with me? something seriously wrong with me. this is not right. and i wanted to make it right but i always screw up. tell me what thing have gone wrong? everything that i wished for isn’t right. i have to get back to the right track. if thinking of me makes him unhappy den why promised to celebrate my bday? it’s not a big deal for him anyways… but inside me, i m so hurt deeply. no words can express what i m feeling today at all. ALL I WANT WAS SOMEONE TO ACC ME TO DO SOMETHING THAT I NEEDED TO. simple. but then, it’s so hard to get someone nowadays. i’m tired of asking people out and always end up getting nothing but “sorry i got something on later so i have to leave by ‘what time’ because i m meeting someone later at ‘what time’ OR i got held up somewhere, OR something to do last min.” sigh. tired of asking people out, so i might as well just stay at home and watch the “Buffy the vampire slayer” which i had borrowed from Starkey. that’s right. WHAT’s with the SHOPPING thingy? ha. save the damn money. stay at hm. right. that’s what i will do.

i HATE kitchen people. they ALWAY bully me. i hate them. i hate them. i simply hate them.

i dont hate the world but the world hate me. because they dislikes me. they hate me. why people hates me. isolate. i feel so depressed. i’m so depressed.

am i ranting rubbish again? no. i’m NOT.