love

confessing love to a guy is the toughest thing to do in the world, especially when you are a girl and fear of rejection. however, deep in your heart you already knew that it’s almost impossible for that guy to like you. or rather, confession is the toughest thing to do in the world for all boys and girls, men and women.

like when the 1st time your bf confessed that he’s in love with you, and you realised that you fall in love with him too. both of you chatted on phone, smsed each other while he was still in camp. things was good back then. and then, before you knew it both of you are in a relationship though you guys only know each other barely for a month. the 1st few months, like what the rest says is always honeymoon period. stay happy and crudle each other, everything seems to be so sweet and bright. he’s loves to go out with u and loves to stick to you. You were so in love then.

till one fine day, he thinks that you are always sticking to him during his off day (sounds ridiculous, otherwise are you supposed to stick to him when he is working?) and say he has no life. because he’s either working or staying at home. so he wants time for his friends. and when you asked him, “how about me”? he would say, “i’m with you 90% of my time. what else do you want?”. you knew something is wrong. and start thinking if he has changed of heart or perhaps many other unrevealed reasons. when you say “i love you” directly into his eyes, he looked away from you. and when you asked him the same thing, he looked away and say “i love you too”. you rather believe that there is nothing wrong than cooking up some fantastic stories.. even when you bumped into at the pub, he gave u wink. but did not came up to you to hug you or to give you a kiss.. you know something is wrong.. especially when the girl you don’t like works there. you gave out your best for this relationship, show him concern, care for him, gave him freedom to meet whoever he wants, anything, anything you can think of… in the end, he was harbouring thoughts of breaking up with you. but he say, “i don’t love you as much as before”. you asked him “why”, but you are still unable to get a reasonable reason, a reason that you can accept as a fact to the failure of this relationship. you put down pride to ask him don’t leave you, but he has pretty much made up his mind. so no matter how you ask and ask and ask… things remain the same. you asked if you did anything wrong, he reply “no. you are good girl. but i’m a bastard. i don’t wanna waste your time with me”. and you are still unable to get to the conclusion why he suddenly stop loving you… u got so frustrated. paranoid. he says he still cares and dote you… but all you asked for is him to stay by your side which he rejected you flatly.. you got so heartbroken.. and this seems to be a cycle..

you started to envy those long term relationship and you look at friends, so happily in love but of cos, there times whereby they quarrelled too. you wished your bf would quarrel with you and then get back together again… then you realised, whenever you put your heart and soul into this r/s.. nothing works… they would ended up breaking up with you and all your relationship doesn’t last for a year. what happened to those so-called promises that he gave you? so do you think you can trust them again?