HELP!

What the hell is he thinking? Or rather what the hell am i thinking? Why am i still bothered about him getting himself drunk in the middle of the night? WHY? it is so stupid. he was telling you to GET LOST on Sunday night when you went to look for him and suddenly he called you in the middle of the night to go to his house to take care of him because he’s drunk. What does he wants from me? Here i am trying hard to forget about him, and there he is doing this thing to me. WHY WHY WHY? i hate myself for being me. i need to learn to be hard hearted. like him. quit calling me when you are drunk. i don’t wanna care anymore. each time i care about you, i fall deeper into this trap that you laid out for me. can someone save me?!