f**k off

maybe i was being paranoid by the fact that he always put me aside for his friends. i was online at about 10plus p.m when he MSN-ed me to ask me if i’m still meeting him. Well, i would meet him if he’s not going out with his friends of cos. who wants to be left behind? then he told me he’s not going out with them because he wants to finish his work. then, i went to meet him after work supper.

but please, from now on, just get the hell out of my life.

it will just irritates the hell out of me. to know that i’m just being used by you and not appreciated by you. FUCK off. we are not friends. you are just some jerk to me now. i do not wish to hear from you ever again. please fucking remember what you said to me. just remember that. we are ‘friends’ that’s all. and friends don’t care for you like a girlfriend would. and friends don’t do ur abide or take your order or pleases you. Because if that person is a real friend, he would throw the cold hard truth into your face and tell you to wake up your fucking idea. my friend did that. i’m glad he did. otherwise i will just fall in deeper. just FUCK off. i’ll make sure i contact u no more.

i’m always thankful to people around me. because there is always people around me when i’m feeling down and of cos there are times when these people are busy with their stuffs, then i have to be alone. am thankful to Shaiful asking him to accompany in the middle of the night to Pioneer Mall to talk and realized that all these can be done if i have been more determined. just like i was determined to forget about my 1st ex bf when he hurt me with the girl. forgive and forget. i did that. den i should let go of this past relationship. it was ended a month ago. my heart will never go out all the way for him. no more getting myself drunk. no more. when i’m drunk i will call him. no more. to get myself deeper into my sorrows, i’m not moving on. i need to move on. i need to. meet more new people, keep my eyes OPEN. open to more choices.