help

i missed him. and i missed him a lot out of the blue. i wondered if i should just give him a msg. but my brain told me not to though my heart wants to. though he said nasty things to me, wanting me to back off… a part of me still – stays at where i used to be… sometimes i wished he would call me or sms me, but a part of me knows very well that it would never happen. my sister say i was on drugs that’s why i am thinking of him, and partly because she didn’t go out with me. oh well.. i misses him so much because we haven’t meet for 3 weeks and he’s ignoring me. that makes me upset. i tried my best not to blog my feelings about this, but i just can’t help it. i wished. i hope. no, i can’t wish or hope. i need to get back to reality. why can’t he realize that i do and really love him lots? but i’m giving him the ‘space’ he wants. i stopped contacting him. sometimes i feel like crying because i misses him so much. but he will just tell me ‘no’. he doesn’t wanna talk to me, because we got nothing to talk about, and he would assume that i will talk about our relationship. can someone help me with this? Gosh, i am drowning in this. =[