ok, maybe i should really stop my depression for now. thinking on the bright side:

1) i’m going to have sushi for dinner this friday with my sister
2) i’m going for Randy’s wedding at Sentosa this saturday (and i’m gonna see quite a number of people there)
3) celebrating Marcus’s bday this sunday.

Gosh, it looks like i’m packed. but there are stuffs that dim out my bright side:

1) majority is because of him, of cos
2) Jay chou’s concert tickets for both 18th and 19th Jan’08 is SOLD OUT (is there anything more exaggerate than this? it’s more than 2 months from now to the concert!)
3) working on a public holiday, Deepavali, (this makes me even more depressing. because i wanna go PARTY with my friends on WEDNESDAY.)

Can someone help me out of this depression? I think only he can. =[

I’m so happy can? Because he’s meeting me tomorrow! it brighten up my depressing days. =]]

ok, did i mentioned that i watched “The Game Plan” on Sunday with Shaiful? I must have forgotten about this movie (it doesn’t mean that i forget about you dude. because i still SEE you around. LOL). Anyways, the movie is rather funny and touching at times. Worth watching. =]

ok, i must have this monday blues thingy that i actually went drinking with li and her colleagues. went to a pub (Rab Pub) at boat quay last night. and her colleagues are such funny people to hang out with. though, i can’t really remember their names. haha. i’m such a lousy drinker, 2 bottles of beer can make me drunk. not immediately, but slowly.. den Jeremy came down to send me home. “hello drunkard”, that’s what he said me to me. but anyways, thanks dude.

I think i must be crazy to sms JJ stupid stuffs. =.= i was pretty upset that he put me aside when i was the one who asked him 1st if he can acc me go eat yu pian tang. he agreed and i was so happy. because each time i asked him, he rejected me. but then at about 8:30p.m, he smsed me to tell me that he’s going to play number ball with his colleagues so he’s not meeting me anymore. that upsets me. thus, i went drinking. and he only got home like 5a.m… =[

what makes it worse was that i forgot that i took medicine, and i had beer. so, there is a sharp pain at my heart that makes me unable to sleep or rest.. =[ maybe i shd stop being so forgetful.. oh well.. we are just 5 very sadded-ed ladies.

i’m drunk on the inside though i looked sober on the outside. so drunk.

Rebecca cheated my feelings once more. She said she would meet me today and it ends up, she say she’s doing project. i wasn’t informed. zzz. my poor sister is sick. so she couldn’t go out with me and she already had steamboat with me last night. Oh well.. Lucky, i’m meeting Jeremy for a movie. But he only finishes work at 1.30a.m.. and so, i headed to Bugis’s TCC to wait for him. and i had a dessert for myself. and that makes me so full because i had dinner b4 i went out. the stupid thing is, i forgot to bring my hp out. =[ den we headed to The Cathay for the movie. the start of the movie was pretty gross because they cut up the body, took out the organs and all.. yes, it’s a little gross. but, i like~ LOL. it’s nice! sure it is.

i’m starting to miss him a little more each day. but i know it’s not gonna work… i know it’s not gonna work… he wants me out of his life.. =[ that makes me really upset.. because, i really wanna be with him… but he don’t.. cast him out of your mind babe. and you will be stronger.

I was supposed to go to perm my hair today. but i have this sudden craving for steamboat, so i smsed my sister. Poor sister, she’s not feeling well. having running nose.. but we had our BBQ steamboat at Seoul Garden at Bugis anyway. =] isn’t my sister nice person? heh heh. and then, we went to Dempsey Road‘s Ben & Jerry because Desmond‘s friends are there. It’s so weird to take picture with people whom i don’t know and eating their birthday cake. lol. gosh, i’m so full now. because i had 3 scoops of ice cream on a waffle cup; all by myself and a steamboat earlier on. LOL. i feel like a pig. and yes, time to sleep early tonight. bcos i have to wake up early tomorrow and fight a battle until 4p.m. hahaha. *burrpp*

*aawwww*

This ice cream you see here, IS MINE! (i love whip cream! Yummy~~)

i’m trying. trying to get him out of my mind. but the more i wanna forget him, the more i miss him.. the more i wanna talk to him. the more i can’t get him out of my mind. can someone help me? =[

i was feeling depressed yesterday night, so i went to practice on the keyboard and den Jordan came along… so we sang “Through it all”… Michelle’s class happens to finish and walk pass us so, she came to join us too.. after awhile, den Bernice’s class ended… and then the 4 of us was standing there singing that same song. =] it’s so fun. den i bumped into Shaiful who was eating his Subway at the MRT station. and yes, i’m not alone. =] that’s makes me happy. =]

and yes, KJJ no more.

been feeling so upset this week except for monday when i think i was doing a good job by not contacting him. i can’t blame him totally for causing my sorrows and hurts and everything else, because i was the one who let him in to my heart again by going to his house in the middle of the night to take care of him. so i feel like going for some drink and maybe bump into some weird people because it’s Halloween last night. But, it was celebrated on last saturday. so i didn’t really see any weird people. Oh yes, i saw “da ye” (the chinese wayang guy except that he didn’t paint his face.). Haha. My sister and her bf was there for me. and i’m so happy that she’s always here for me. I know she’ll because she says so. =] that’s why i love her so much. We went to MOS. it’s 1-for-1 for housepour, so my sister bought vodka with red bull. i supposed it tasted like cranberry with alcohol. i drank more than usual. I don’t know why. i just feel like drinking. got myself high. haha. and yes, i smsed him which he didn’t reply… so i sent him another one. to tell him how much i hate him. hate him for not doing anything for me when i’m at his disposal. maybe almost an hour after i smsed him, he called me. i breakdown. tears just flow out of my eyes once more. and the urge to puke. ah, i must admit that i’m not a good drinker. i never i am anyway. i wore t-shirt and jeans skirt to club. oh who cares? ahaha. i had fun, fun… who am i kidding? Why make me sad when you can choose to make me happy? he say “i don’t know. because i think i’ll hurt you even more”. but you have hurt me with that “i don’t know”. why you just refused to choose me?