i had a very sumptuous dinner at my sis’s house today. this makes me happy. because i got PSP to play and nice dinner. This is the first time my sis’s cooking for me. ho ho ho. Xing fU~ i love my sis~~~ and i love the PSP as well. hahaha.

i’m pretty upset. if my concern about ‘what time he’s gonna finish work’ is part of trying to get attention, i seriously have nothing much to say. if that’s the case i will never ask again. i have said sorry. but i doubt i can continue this r/s anymore. he said i was trying to get attention which he say he don’t give. this fucking hurts me. the moment i saw this msg, my heart hurts. my tears flowing out. nothing is fucking right. this r/s is so fucking wrong in the first place. i shouldn’t have make myself emotion vulnerable again. it’s not right. this time, i’m so screwed. i can choose not to make myself so upset. but i m always so screwed until i made myself vulnerable to such kind of person again. fuck. i’m his gf but i don’t deserve any attention, den might as well.

that 10 million buck TOTO, doesn’t belong to me. sad-ed. nevertheless, i have expected that. each set of nos, i only got 1 or 2, that’s it. in life, this is what we call gamble. like what christina always say, got buy got hope. no buy no hope. at least we had a little hope. hahaha.

quarreled. i think that the usual stuff. and people says, both of us are testing each other’s patience. perhaps. why can’t i throw a little temper? why must he get angry when i m angry? why must he get angry over small things and i must let him be? sometimes such r/s is stupid. Hey you, BE THE MAN, DO THE RIGHT THING. but apparently, he doesn’t and won’t listen to me… simply because he don’t love me as much. he thinks it’s ok to treat me the way he’s treating me now, bcos i love him so… and the fact that i will initiative to talk to him. because that’s always the case. not now. human changes. stop talking about him. he never talks abt anything. he got his pride to look after. i can see how much you loved her. and i really can see how much you love me. your love for me is so ‘strong’ until “break up” was often mentioned. finished. i’m done here. hurt enough. cry enough. emo enough. enough is enough. if you wanna leave, leave completely. leave with no trace.

met up with shaiful and pom today. me, peili, sikai, shaiful and pom had dinner at Siam Thai at JP. and we were sitting at for a long time crapping… and then headed home after that. and here i am sitting in front of my laptop. feeling emo again. zzzzz

Our first attempt to cook dinner tonight. We cook my favorite food! Spaghetti with garlic and Olive oil, and garlic butter prawns. and we bought a bottle of FAKE champagne. LOL. act romantic. We only miss out the candle part. Oh well. and then spend my night here doing nothing. At least i have my lappy with me. Feeling so lazy, so i did not put on any make up, anyways i doubt we will be going out (except the part we went to Prime Supermarket to get our ingredients). wanted to go skating today, but because bf doesn’t wanna go, peili suggested that i should meet him bcos he might wanna spend his leave with me. Oh well, at least i had a great night. =] It’s been a long while since i last cooked. hehe.

I am the luckiest person on Earth~ i found my wallet with EVERYTHING inside (including my old notes). =] that makes me so happy and i’m grateful to the person who return me after almost 2 weeks. THANKS. it was a maid who found my wallet and i gave her $10 for appreciation because that’s the only note in my wallet. Oh well. then i head to Peili‘s house going to steamboat since the Poly gathering is canceled. and after that we head down to Zouk and Peili was like stoning. We saw JIabao outside ZOuk alone, and he was like drunk. But there is another person who is worse than him. and then me & bf took NR home.

OMG.

gosh, my hair damn messy.

she said she’s too shy to take pic with her friend, but she posed. =.=

uglee

i was rather upset with bf’s behavior, his suddenly anger makes me wondered what have i done wrong. and he doesn’t pick up my call or he doesn’t reply to my msg, makes me even more upset and angry with him. and i was pretty upset because he made me feeling so upset on a valentine’s day. =[

i spent my Valentine’s Day with darling, Evelyn. =] was supposed to watch movie but we are unable to catch the movie at 6.45p.m so we head out for dinner first. had zi cha though. =] then Evelyn suggested Kbox because i was feeling rather down. and we had a fun night singing just Zhang Hui Mei, Zhou Jie Lun, Zhang Shao Han, Jolin Cai Yi Ling’s songs. LOL. and because it’s Valentine’s Day, we got to mix out own drinks with 3 tubes of whatever they gave us to choose from. i mixed cranberry + vokda + another alcohol which i dun rem. Evelyn had Melon something (which is alcohol) + 2 others which i failed to rem. haaha. then we sing till 10.30pm and den head home.

while singing, i smsed him again to ask him if he could talk to me properly. and we talk. he didn’t like me to go watch movie with a guy alone, i wondered why. it’s just a movie to me. but whatever. because i love him, so i won’t wanna do anything to make him upset, and i hope this applies to him as well. and finally he say “Happy Valentine’s Day” to me. you should know how much i love you. or at least i hope u will see and show me that u love me and is serious about this r/s. ignoring me gives me an impression that you’re not sincere about this r/s at all, and this will definitely break my heart. and it’s time for me to go slp soon. didn’t slp well last night. and it’s company’s dinner tml. looking forward to it and meeting bf after my company and after his performance. nitey world.

our love potions. drink and you will love me even more 😉



Kbox session = two of us = siao lang time~

and yes, i have finally watch “Kungfu Dunk” today with Qingfu. =] and i finally know that “toufu” song i heard in Wilson‘s car was actually sung by Jay. and i commented that this song has no meaning in it because i only heard the “toufu”part. LOL. =X anyways, had dinner at JP with Peili, Shikai and Qingfu. =] and i got a rose! from buying popcorn when the counter puts the rose down, Qingfu says it’s FOC. hahaha. so i took it lo.

and i seriously don’t like it when i asked whose house he’s going, he replied me “tell you you also don’t know…”. i don’t really have to know who is that person, i just wanna know whose house he’s going. simple what. when he asked me who i m going for a movie with, i told him straight away even though he doesn’t know my friend. as simple as that. and it’s Valentines’ Day tml! have you ask your date out? i have~ my date will be EVELYN! ha.because he’s working night shift tml. zzzz. and i received my UOB debit card!! but no PIN number. omg. =|

Time to update my CNY events:

10th February 2008
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Woke up really late today. JJ asked me down to have lunch at his house last night, but i woke up about 2p.m, which means i had 12 hours of sleep, and so i didn’t went to his house to have lunch. Almost. and he said sorry again today which apology was accepted. Just don’t do it again, because i hate to feel upset and broken hearted. I don’t have a whole heart for you to break again. i am feeling insecure about this, and you are not helping me. why? it KILLS me. and then i thought my dad doesnt wanna go relative’s house anymore and then who knows, he suddenly say “hey go leh”.. doesn’t give me time to prepare so i told them to go first then i join them shortly.

meet Li and ShiKai for movie (C J 7) at JE. which, i don’t really like. The cinema there suck. but i enjoyed the arcade there. Damn fun la. hit until my hand pain. hahaha. and then we went outside to sit for awhile and then headed home. Yawns, i’m going to bed now. =]

9th February 2008
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Went to Desmond’s house for steamboat and i was sooooo hungry until i had 3 bowls of rice. Yao GUi. and JJ said he’s not coming and after some psycho by ShiKai, he came. i kept asking him if he had his dinner, he didn’t reply me and then he went into the house. Bloody hell. And Li used my hp to take the pic below, that Qing Hai say i’m extra. zzz. can you see i’m concentrating on the PSP game? Anyways, everyone (includes Desmond‘s DAD. can you BELIEVE IT? GOSH) head down to MOS and i head home with JJ because he doesn’t wan me go and i have no mood because:

1) no much money
2) no I/C = no morale
3) i’m TIRED

and then he kept asking me if i’m unhappy that he ask me to go home which i wasn’t merely tiredness. and i seriously thought he wanted to spend the night with me since he doesn’t want me to MOS with them but he sent me home instead and this makes my blood boils. because he doesn’t wanna spend the night with me and he doesn’t want me to go MOS to have fun?! selfish man. and he threw his temper at me because he’s pissed at certain things. that makes me rather upset and i almost cried myself to sleep because of this. and Li called him to talk and then he calls me back after saying he doesn’t wanna talk to me or answer my call and told me not to call his house because his aunt has went to bed. zzzz. THAT REALLY UPSET ME. ='[ but he apologized to me and the whole thing makes me doesn’t wanna talk to him. because i was crying still. humph.

8th February 2008
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Went to Qing Hai‘s house for steamboat. This is the day whereby EVERYONE wants to have steamboat. My house’s having steamboat too. because my sis’s bf is coming down. =| and i was supposed to go to JJ’s hse to have steamboat as well but decided to skip that. and i was so obsessed in playing my sis’s PSP until i almost didn’t wanna go out and Li went back to slp again when i call her again at about 7plus. zzzz.. nuah lang. everyone was so busy gambling in Qing Hai‘s house and Li and me almost fall aslp on his bed after nuah-ing for so long. l o l. then we head down to Partyworld at Orchard for some singing session and JJ headed back home because he’s working morning shift the next day and i feel rather bad for not going home with him.. but he can’t say “NO” because i just wanna have some fun, and i did let him have his. and they went to Macdonald’s to have breakfast and nuah there until 7plus 8a.m and JJ wasn’t very happy about it. BUT, what can i do abt it? Chase them home? zzzz.

7th February 2008
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i can really heard my relativessss’s voices even when i am sleeping, can you imagine the noise they made? but it’s ok, what’s imp is the ANG BAO, though it’s not much… but it’s still money! hahaha. My dad was throwing his tantrum again this year. he refuses to go to san kim’s house and that makes mama angry. don’t know what’s wrong with him, but it happens so yah lo. i head down to san kim’s house with mama and my younger sis, elder and younger bro. sat there crap a little and then they needs to head off to 2nd aunt’s house which i chose to give it a miss because i’m going to JJ‘s house to bai nian. he wanted me to wait for him to get out of his house but i chose not to because i don’t know how long he will take to prepare and get out of his house, so i took a cab down… there goes my money. i promised i will not take cab unless i need to. =P then we went to Liquid for drinks. and i was pretty upset that JJ was not by my side half of time. i wondered where did he go. so i was playing game with his friends and Li. That Jon was like bias against me because i was wearing that big nerdy specs. L O L. that’s so fun. but what’s not so fun is after JJ got himself so high, refuses to go home and create a din there. and a malay guy was trying to be nice until he wanted to send me home. hahaha. But what makes me even more upset is, after waiting for him until 7plus in the morning, he ask me to head back home first. zzzz.

6th February 2008
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Sigh, was damn suay to realised my wallet is missing on the eve of CNY which makes me totally no mood. because i have no ez-link card to take bus, no money to take cab, no money to eat (ok, i have like $1 plus in my coin pouch. =[ ) so, i hitch a ride from Evelyn and Peili because Evelyn woke up late. I’m still rather upset. After work i went to the police station to report lost. Sad-ed. then after that Li passed me $10 bucks so i can take cab down to JJ‘s house. Had lunch at his place and stayed there and watched Jacky Wu’s CNY show and i almost flip and die from laughing. And then i headed back home because he say he needs to head down to the Police Station to finish some work. My dad was asking who lost something and it was pretty obvious that someone is ME la. and he was shouting at me as if i always lose my wallet. Bloody hell, dont know how to show proper concern. But after that he talked to me softly. and i went to slp. it’s the first time i did nothing on CNYE. =X i only woke up at about 8plus to have my dinner with my family and den head out to meet JJ for movie (Ah Long Pte Ltd). and then we walk back from JP because it’s so hard to get cab on CNYE and further more, it’s just a SHORT distance. =] it’s really yucky not having money in your wallet. =[

DAMN SUAY LA! FANCY ME LOSING MY WALLET ON CNY EVE. ZZZZZZZZZ

i hate to be emo over certain stuffs, and i hate to be not trusting towards him. but then sometimes his action doesn’t make me trust him that much. really. and when he give me that “don’t believe then whatever” kinda attitude, just makes me don’t wanna talk to him more. can’t even pacify his own gf? zzzz. if i m not angry now, i will next time. hey bro, 我跟你讲 SERIOUS a bit leh! zzzz. seriously, what kind of bf doesn’t pacify his own gf? when this happens, the girl is taken for granted. and u just knew it. as much as i love him, i don’t wanna get myself involve in something that’s not realistic at all. it just hurts as much as if i give my best out and kill myself with my effort again. if you can’t keep your promise, don’t mention it at all.

These are the uglee pictures i took today. and his friends are definitely jokers. LOL.