i hate the fact that i am weak.

because i hate the fact that i miss him and he don’t miss me.

am too tired. nite.

it’s my second day of work today. and it doesn’t mean that my day got any better.

1) i reached peiyun’s hse, and realized she just woke up. thus i have to take bus to mrt station -> train to lavander -> walk to Keypoint.

2) i managed to reach the office at 8.44am. and i tried to scan my finger, but it didn’t get thru so i tried again.. at least 5 times and by the time i managed to scan my finger, time is 8.46am. I’M CONSIDER LATE. but lucky for me, my supervisor informed the the account ppl that i wasn’t late!

3) raining during lunch time. followed my manager and supervisor for lunch, and it’s NOT filling at all. because i m simply TOO hungry. =[

4) i’m DYING to eat tom yum ban mian, but the tom yum ban mian i had for the past 2 days = SALTY. =[

5) the pair of new shoes i bought yesterday, is giving me BRUISE. zzz

lucky for me, i had PSP to play. because i met up with Shaun, Michael, CHeryl and Rebecca. hee. gotta keep myself super busy.. otherwise i might just end up being EMO. zzz. and i will be looking forward to work with Shaun. Yup. =] that’s all. because i was bz entertaining myself with PSP, thus NO pics! hohoho.

it’s my first day at work. and i was so unlucky till my heels BROKE early in the morning while i was making my way to PeiYun‘s hse. =.= and what worse is, she forgot to bring a pair down. and i have walk like a limb person. until i finish work. OMG. lucky i got a pair of hello kitty slipper for the day. =| and lunch, i have no appetite. =[

Lunch: burger suck + emo = hungry
Dinner: noodle salty + aunty’s deaf after repeating TWICE i wan tom yum ban mian + angry = hungry

i don’t know if what i did is right. i promised to leave him alone for a week so that he will not break up with me over small matters. it seems like this whole week gonna be like forever. at the same time, this r/s is getting ridiculous. he knows i misses him so much, how to i bear a week not seeing, not contacting him? people asked me if he really loves me. because if he does, he would wanna see me, wanna talk to me every moment… wanna do everything together. but that was not the case. he said his aunt knows that i went up to his house last week and create a ‘scene’ there. what did i do? i merely stand outside his house for 15 mins, called him, sms him and knock on the door 3 times and left. think about it, it’s stupid. hahaha. some times human gotta do stupid stuffs lidat to realize and never make the same mistake again.

since last wed till now, i am feeling down, upset, miserable… but he wasn’t by my side.. all he knows was to be mad at me. and because of me, i spoiled the fun on sat. otherwise everything is perfectly ok. attended someone’s bday, but i went off without saying goodbye. i feel so bad. lucky, that guy is a good guy. =]

i called him during lunch time, just to ask him don’t do this thing to me anymore. because i seriously can’t take it anymore. really. the one week while not contacting him, many things can happen. and i can only imagine the worse.

i really feel bad about last night. if it wasn’t for me, i guess it will be an enjoyable night.

i really miss him alot.

Am i childish when he say he doesn’t wanna see me and i went to look for him. Am i childish when he say don’t call him and i kept calling him? Am i childish getting his friend to help me look for him when he doesn’t wanna reply me?

I wouldn’t say this is childish. I call this S T U P I D. i’ve been thinking for the past 2 days or perhaps 3 days when he doesn’t wanna contact and when he pissed off just because i failed to pick up his call (he knows i will call back. but he kept calling as if i will disappear from this earth.). and he doesn’t wanna talk to me since then. and i have to bear this pain. i bear this pain for 3 days. how long more? this morning i smsed him if he still wants me. he replied i’m childish. and i asked him in what way am i childish, he mentioned the above. if he had answer my call OR reply my sms, would the WHOLE WORLD knows we fight over such peanut matter? i’m just a laughing stock to some people. his attitude towards me is getting more and more ridiculous. i am serious. please tell me which bf would treat his gf like shit? please tell me.

WHY i can’t just have a PROPER r/s?

WHY is it so hard?

WHY come back to me and treat like shit all over again?

i’m a HUMAN, not MACHINE. i have my EMOTIONS as well. but ppl would blame me. It’s always the case. in a quarrel, he’s always the right one i’m always the wrong one.

WHY is it so??

Just because he’s in the fucking NS, so i tried my best to be understanding. he doesn’t like me to ask him WHAT time he finish work, i stopped asking. he doesn’t like me this, doesn’t like me that, i tried to compromise. But when it comes to quarrel, there is NO compromise even i apologize even if it’s NOT my fault. i did my best. but all it exchange for “i don’t want u”. So be it. If you wanna leave me, den leave me for good. Don’t ever come back again. and All i ask from you is CAN YOU PLS STOP READING MY BLOG.

my greatest mistake is, i over reacted when someone is angry with me.

my greatest mistake is, i shouldn’t have care when some people don’t give a damn to me at all.

this is my disappointment. there are more. but, what’s the point of saying it out? Some people just don’t get it.

We are talking about life enjoyment before me start working in the new company next week. =]

Anways, i had my FIRST DOTA game today! I’m really a noob in playing DOTA. and everyone was like laughing at me. for the 1st game i played, we stopped the game with me at level 10. and we start the 2nd game and we won the game with me at level 18. at least i improved ok? everyone was laughing at me when i failed to escape from the computer PANDA. and the second character that i used, i can’t see myself because when it goes to level 4, i’m totally invisible and by then i found myself.. i was killed. OMG. LOL. it’s so fun. and we played counter strike as well. NICE game. i was so nervous when Kai kept coming to me to tell me shoot whoever was still alive. LOL. it’s like a heart attack game. hahaha. and i haven’t seen Pei Di for a long time as well! hahaha.