incinerator

Today is the last day of my grandma’s funeral. and it’s very upsetting moment for us. however, there are some people who likes to exaggerate the solemnness of the funeral, e.g. by shouting to the dead: WAKE UP; they want to chap ji ka (join in the crowd) in the ceremonies when it has got nothing to do with them. they were chatting and laughing when the IMMEDIATE FAMILY are going thru the ceremonies and this is rather irritating because it was supposed to be SOLEMN moment.; searching around the coffin for some 4D numbers (they might as well ask ah ma directly, why the trouble??) while going thru the ceremony. not that i want to be mean but, if ah ma can wake up from the coffin, the doctor won’t pronounce her dead. What’s the point of crying so bitterly only after the person is dead and starts regretting for not treating her good when she was still alive? That’s the thing about humans. They do not treasure the people around them until they are gone. And when people doesn’t cry it out, it doesn’t mean that they are heartless. They just want to control their emotions. I, too, have the urge to cry but i controlled because i don’t see the point of crying over spill milk. Ah ma’s dead – that’s the cold hard true fact. And i don’t understand why they just can’t let the dead rest. Seriously, with all the dong dong dong dong and prayers for the past few nights, i think i will just 死不瞑目because it’s simply too noisy. What’s the point of having people singing in the funeral when

1) you don’t understand what they are singing,
2) noone’s paying attention to them at all.

my conclusion is, they just wanna show people their last minute 孝心. But it seriously doesn’t do much help at all. what’s irritating is the 大姑 says the next time we also must do the same thing for our another ah ma. WTF! My ah ma’s gonna live for at least 20 yrs ok? seE? these people always talk w/o thinking and even after they said such things out, they are still not thinking. their brain must be smaller than a pea or maybe they doesn’t even have any. i’m so angry with these people at the funeral. zzz. my mum calls her the “COMMANDO”. Ha.

When the machine pushes the coffin into the incinerator, it’s such an heartbreaking moment. many people cried. many people did not cry. and then we went back to Jurong west and supposed to have lunch, everyone EXCEPT the immediate families dashed to have lunch and when the immediate families wanna have lunch, there isn’t much left. the typical type of Singaporeans.

Anyways, that aside. We (me, my younger sis, younger bro and dad) went for breakfast like almost 4am because we couldn’t play Mahjong at the funeral because 大舅 was crying so bitterly. And i was on winning spree ok? Nevermind about that because i can play mahjong anytime! hahaha. and my father show us his fatherly love by helping us with the soft boiled egg. because it’s freaking hot la!