Disappointment

Suddenly, I’m so disappointed in myself.

Because whatever I’m disappointed with somebody in, is the same reason another person is disappointed in me with.

Then I have to question myself, WHY have expectations on others when I can’t even take on the expectations I have upon others?

This happens when I have been playing Cabal without Teck Yong for the past few nights because he’s not feeling well and didn’t came online to play and I was bored. And I was on MC for 2 days and feeling bored, having nothing to do so I played. And from level 17, I played and did some quest along the way and level up till 28 now, when he die die will wait for me to come online to play with me is still at level 17, I feel bad. Because he created a new character so that he can play with me, and I just went ahead to play on my own and even blamed him because he went to do quest on his own without me! And there I go, went to do quest and level up alone. =[ I feel bad. I kept reminding myself that I’m NOT that kind of person, but I have double standards on others. Subconsciously. He’s right to lecture me. But the things that he said, sounds hurtful to me. Because it never came across my mind that it would hurt him as much because it was just a game! I’m pretty much sure, in real life, I am trying so hard not to be that kind of horrible person. But if I’m, please pardon me. I might have put this issue at the back of my mind and forgot to remind myself again.

I think it’s a night whereby I have to constantly remind myself of my short coming. Things that I often took granted for. I’m so sorry pals.