Friends?

i seriously don’t know where i stand anymore.

and i seriously don’t know who is my best friend, my good friend, my close friends anymore.

It feels like we are behaving like as if we are only entertainment friends. And good friends who used to standby me when i was down has now gone to far far away land. Leaving me alone to feel all the hurts and emotions.

And then people complain that i didn’t ask them out for some activities after reading from my blog, then when i know they have some activities and didn’t ask me along, it’s the SAME FUCKING feeling. Like wat TY says, people have double standards. Asking people not to do this and that, and they are doing this themselves.

Sometimes i’m so pissed with myself. I’m pissed because after hanging out with the teenages, i feel old and useless. i’m feeling tired everyday. simply because, i hate my life. always having to find someone to go out with, hanging out with the young kids to realize i’m getting old. It’s not that i can’t take jokes or whatsoever, i simply hate it when there is slight amount of BIAS shown.

Example, my GOOD friend meets a group of us, being my GOOD friend, she went into conversation with other guys, despite the fact that we haven’t been chatting online or sms or even talk on phone recently because GOOD friend and her so-called DIDI have something to share. They literally stopped their conversation when i was trying to join them. Feeling a little disappointed i walked away and chat with the rest of them. Even after the conversation with the guy, and we still didn’t talk. Because they want singing. NOBODY LISTENS TO WHAT I WANT AT ALL, so why would they bother to ask me join them? NOBODY cares about the fact that i was sick. Ok lo.

Example, we planned to go on a trip to Night Safari. After GOOD friend consulting her sister, she decided that it’s TOO EXPENSIVE and we going there to SEE NOTHING. Yes, i’m mad. VERY MAD. because i wasn’t told till i was preparing to go out. And worse thing was she didn’t even show up. Did not even return calls. Only sms her so-called DIDI that she’s not coming.

Seriously, what are friends for? To have fun and laughter and not care about ur needs as well? Just because you are scare that they are disappointed, you have to let them have their way. But who in the hell cares about you and your needs? NOONE at all!

Stop planning. Life will be better without plannings. What’s the point of PLANNING and NEVER execute it? FUCK it.

No, i’m not angry they didn’t ask me to join them. I’m angry because i DON’T KNOW them.