I missed him today.

In fact, I missed him everyday.

You must be thinking “Girl, you’re so weak”. Yeah, i admit that i’m weak. Despite all the hurts that he gave me, I’m still missing him. You must be thinking “What the hell”. Yeah, that’s what i’m thinking too, “what the hell”. Everyday i’m pondering over what went wrong, am i not good enough, what is it that he doesn’t like me etc. Deep in my heart, i know i want him back… once i go deeper, i know if he’s really back, i’m gonna get myself more hurt. So which is which? i don’t know anymore. I wished there is someone i can talk to desperately. I wished someone can drop by and ask “Hey Jaymee, how are you today?”.. Apparently, none of them did that, lo. That’s why i’m very upset. Emo-ing alone. Noone really bothers about what i think seriously. i had nightmares last night when i was slpg. i wished someone is here to hold and care about me. at least he was once here. now that he’s gone, i feel even more emo. For the past almost 4 months since we broke up, i’ve been feeling down. Real down. I wondered how would i react if one day i happened to see his friendster, and there is a new pic of him and his new gf… i know immediately i will just lock my door and cry my heart, just like what i’m doing now. God, this is really so hard for me. I wish that i’m not alone. But the fact is, I am.

Gosh, i feel so helpless. Really.

Welcome a new member to my new collection! It’s Minnie Mouse! Heh heh.

Well, went to meet Nic for dinner. Wanted to cancel it because i’m in a bad mood, but still go for it because i’ve already agreed to go for dinner. It’s his off day today because he was out on sea training yesterday. Good life huh? And we went to play the arcade game and got this, after spending 20 bucks that is. But my stitch cost more, it cost me 30 bucks.. lucky me, i don’t have to pay a single cent for both.

I was surprised Kerine bought me a Stitch toy. Oh well. ZY ask everyone to go for a steamboat gathering tomorrow, but i rejected. U might think i’m throwing my tantrum, but why shd i go when i don’t even know who is my friends really are? I’m just disappointed.