Emotional Shit.

Surprised because he asked me out for dinner tonight. Shocked because I actually meet him. Happy because I see him. Sad because this will not last for long.

Dinner at JP with him at Billy Bombers. After 7 months.

How much I hate to know my ex-bf came looking for me because his previous relationship didn’t work out and this is the time he decided to be my friend.

Can we really be friends at all? After all, I loved him so much in the past. After all the shit things that had happened. We chat like a long time old friend. The feeling is very weird. Am I stupid to even agree to meet him for dinner? Because I seriously think that nothing that happened in the past will happen again for the 3rd time. Sitting in front of him, I can’t look at him directly into his eyes. Actually, I can’t even really look at him. The whole thing about him sitting in front of me, is so weird. He told me he‘s working office hour now, at home. He told me about the indians who beat him and Kai up at Boat Quay. He told me he‘ll be going to Australia to work for a month after he ORD, I seriously don’t know how I should feel. I have mixed emotions. We sat there for awhile to chat and went home after dinner. He went his way, I went mine. I did not ask him anything that concerns about us. Not anymore. Because certain things are meant to remain unspoken.

I’m so sorry Nicholas. Sometimes, I just can’t seems to make this whole thing right. By using you to forget about him is a wrong move. This is the greatest mistake I have done to you. I am really very sorry.