I shouldn’t love you, but I want to
I just can’t turn away
I shouldn’t see you,
but I can’t move
I can’t look away

And I dont know
How to be fine when I’m not
‘Cause I don’t know
How to make a feeling stop

Just so you know
This feeling’s takin’ control
Of me and I can’t help it
I won’t sit around
I can’t let him win now
Thought you should know
I’ve tried my best to let go
Of you but I don’t want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know

It’s gettin’ hard to
Be around you
Theres so much I can’t say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other away

And I don’t know
How to be fine when I’m not
‘Cause I don’t know
How to make a feeling stop

Just so you know
This feeling’s takin’ control
Of me and I can’t help it
I wont sit around
I can’t let him win now
Thought you should know
I’ve tried my best to let go
Of you but I don’t want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know

This emptiness is killin’ me
And I’m wonderin’ why
I’ve waited so long
Lookin’ back I realize
it was always there,
just never spoken
I’m waitin’ here
Been waitin’ here

Oooh

Just so you know
This feeling’s takin’ control
Of me and I can’t help it
I wont sit around
I can’t let him win now
Thought you should know
I’ve tried my best to let go
Of you but I don’t want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know
Whoa
Just so you know
Whoa
Thought you should know
I’ve tried my best to let go
Of you but I don’t want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know
Just so you know

But, I still remain as heart broken as ever.

Ah, working on a Public Holiday today! And I was actually struggling with myself (the good and the evil side of me in my brain) on my bed whether I should come to work after all I don’t feel too good waking up this morning. Nonetheless, I made it to the office before 9a.m. Very late I know, but it’s better than I don’t turn up at all right? And since I’m working on a Public Holiday, so I thought I might want to use the time wisely to do something for myself, so I decided to change my blogskin. Hahaha. Yup, so now I’m quite pleased with this skin but if I find it too boring I might just change it again because there isn’t any much colors. =D

Anyways, I was feeling very angry because of him. Because he can be so nice until I couldn’t believe it and then he can be so bastard until I feel like killing him. He wasn’t sure if he‘s going out with his i-supposed-police-friends yesterday because they suggested drinking (and since he drank so much the night before until 6am, he say he might not wanna go. DAMN, I should have see the MIGHT word.) , so he say let’s go watch a movie. And he stopped replying me at 5plus and I just kept waiting until he no longer onlines. I am like WTF? I waited for his DAMN replies. He did this to me on Saturday too.

This what happened on Saturday:

And I asked him if he saw my MISSED CALLS (twice, once @ 6.10p.m and another @ 7.20p.m), he told me he was sleeping (yah right, I called him he can’t hear it, Rau called and he heard it? He should have saw my SMS too right?) and only woke up an hour ago (I called him 7.30 p.m again). And then he say “you want then you come bugis find us loh”. So insincere right? Which means he doesn’t really want me to go if not he would have asked me when Rau or whosoever called. THEN WHY asked if I wanna join the night before? So pointless right? Sighed.

Back to where I stopped:

So I asked Scandal if he’s free and he say yes. We SMSed awhile and he told me to check the timing and I SMSed him. But he made me wait until 8plus and then reply me saying he’s ready to go out after playing CABAL (he could have told me!) when I received NO REPLIES from him since 1800hrs. So I told him we can watch it another day because I don’t feel like stepping out of my house after doing my nose mask. FUCK. That’s why I’m so mad.

And I bet, he went drinking till this morning. Ha. But who cares? I already feel damn cheated when I quarreled with Scandal over him loh. For what? I don’t know lah. You know what? Lucky I considered twice about going back to him if not I would be hopping around the house wanting to kill someone (because I knew at that point of time, he was asking me causally + he’s high (or perhaps drunk) + doesn’t mean it). FUCK FUCK FUCK. I shall not be nice towards him anymore. And I don’t want to MSN or SMS him anymore! FUCK.