This shall be the very very very last time I am gonna write about him. Because our story ends as of today (Sunday, 04.01.2009). No more. This time I was the one making the decision though I feel a little regret, but still… what’s said has been said… I can’t cry over spilled milk anymore right? I was very pissed off because even though I was his girlfriend, I was treated like as if I am his girl friend. See the difference? Of course, that’s because he’s facing me not others. Whatever it is, I am so tired of repeating this over and over again, so please spare me from this agony alright?

I have been crying since I came back from his house without talking, or even slightest eye contact. The more I control, whenever someone talk to me, the more my tears will just flow out.. I sounded weak I know.. But this is me, crying over a break up. I went to meet Teck Yong at JP just now, and return to the fitness corner near my house and I just kept on crying and crying and crying, until I am very tired. But what’s there to cry over? A break up? A heartless man? I think I’m crying over a heartless man and my own stupidity. Everyone knew this is gonna happen again and yet, I chose to go back to him, allowing it to come true. It’s my bad.

Because of this, everyone doesn’t really bother about me. I will make my decision wiser the next time round. But lucky for me, I always got my good friend around me. =D

Whatever it is, I am leaving everything about Kong Jin Jie behind me.. I want to move on.. I can’t stay and always get myself hurt. I can’t do this anymore.

Ask me, ask me if I feel hurt. Ask me, ask me how does it feel like to be hurt thrice. ASK ME.

I can tell you straight into your face, that I HATE MY STUPIDITY. I gave up others to TRY this so-called relationship and I end up being hurt again. *Clap clap clap* Why does everything about him is so true? WHY? He used the same knife and stab at my heart over and over again. I can no longer breath anymore. My heart has stopped once again. I could have forgotten about him 7 months ago. SEVEN BLOODY MONTHS. It took me more than 7 MONTHS to settle my heart and he’s back with the SAME STUNT again. Am I stupid or what? Perhaps the problem really lies with me. Why do I have to be so persistence in this no-feelings-involved relationship? Reality in relationship is always cruel towards me. I haven’t been cruel to anyone (perhaps only towards Nicholas). I feel like I am so useless because I can’t even maintain a proper relationship. He say he just wanna TRY. What’s there to TRY when we have TRIED 2 times? It’s a total waste of my time. I promise, I will learn to stand up on my own. It’s time to face the music. I shall shed no tears for him anymore. This is the last time, I swear.