I have just downloaded the latest version of Windows Live Messenger. And there is a very interesting application: Windows Live Writer which I am using now to type out this entry. It’s like a frontpage just that it only allows me to blog instead of amending my template and stuffs. I can even preview it before I publish it. How cool can this be? =]

I think I have nothing better to do, so I have been running to my sister’s house since yesterday. To see baby of course. And while I was there yesterday, my hands was quite itchy… so we are on for a game of Mahjong. But because we are short of 1 person, so we are actually eyeing on my sister’s brother-in-law (in short, she call BIL). And we are coming up with all sorts of ideas to lure her BIL to fall into our trap (he was busy playing DotA and Pirate King online).

First, I was sitting beside him so what I did was I did a play mahjong action.. hoping he will see it.

But then, I do not have the courage to ask him because I shy mah. So my sister came up with the following ideas:

1) Give me his hp number, so I can SMS him if he wants to play
2) Sneak up to his computer and take down his MSN and msg him and ask him if he wants to play
3) Perhaps we can ask her FIL (Father In Law) not to prepare the dinner and play with us

Whatever it is, once her BIL took down the headphones, my sister asked her by saying “她们问你要打麻将吗?”.. Instantly I told her BIL is SHE ask one. LOL. Oh well. Anyways we started the game and I was laughing at my sister because she forgot to get a replacement after she ‘gang’ her fa cai. LOL. Why? She was busy collecting money that’s why! There goes her 5 tais. =D Anyhows, at the end of the game I lose $4 bucks. Still not so bad. Because I gave her $6.40 in the beginning of the bloody game. =[ Nevertheless, I am not a gambler. It’s just a game which requires some wit and luck. LOL.

So today I went over her house again. And her FIL thought I am there to play mahjong to recoup my loses yesterday. Oh well, I was there to visit little Alyssa lah. Miss her mah. Wanted to go BBDC today, but I was feeling lazy + raining and plus I woke up at 1plus p.m.. So I kinda drop that idea. AND my little sister cheated my feelings loh, after waiting for her for 45 mins, she told me she’s going there for 45 mins and then she’s going out with her friend. Duh. Whatever it is, I went home about 10p.m after watching the Channel 8 stupid 9p.m show. hahaha.

I think I should give myself a tight slap or perhaps two for thinking about the useless things/person again. WTF wrong with me? I should stop my mind from wandering back to the past again. STOP IT. *SLAPS* I used to hug Blackie to sleep. Now Blackie sleeps alone.

I have just finish watching “Heart of Greed (溏心風暴)“. I must agree that this show is nice. I got this show since last year and I only managed to finish it today because I’m a jobless person (Mind you, I am looking for jobs also ok! So I am not sitting in front of my laptop doing nothing, I’m multi tasking!). For the synopsis of the show, click here. Wikipedia is good, because it says it all. =] And of course, I was complaining to my little sister about the show taking up spaces in my iPod. LOL.

I went for my interview @ Confusius – NTU today. I think, I just have no much confidence in myself and plus I’m having sore throat. Ah, sometimes, I can’t blame anyone for my bad luck you know. Sometimes, things aren’t meant to be. You get what I mean. I do not want to dwell too much on what has happen or had happen, but rather, I wanna put in more effort in what is going to happen. Life is so unpredictable, but I’m sure certain things are predictable. Like, I think some company will call me up tomorrow and arrange for an interview maybe on Friday or next week. I have to look on a brighter side. Am I right? But I’m not a very optimistic person. I admit. With things that had happened within short period of time, I’m still digesting. Big sigh.

Bloody hell. I am sick again. This time with sore throat and running nose. Like what the hell, so I have to reschedule my interview with Confusius – NTU to tomorrow. I emailed the person whom I am supposed to contact with. She told me it’s not possible to reschedule the interview as the ManagerS’s schedule are very tight as well. So I have to call her to let her hear my sexy voice so she can help me reschedule to tomorrow. Hopefully.

Thank you everyone for your care and concern. And I’m sure I will be alright in the next few days. I am starting to move on from Jin Jie slowly. Taking one step at a time. And of course, I won’t be able to do it without my good friends support and of course my little sister’s concerned too. =] I am surprised that even STRANGERS are concerned about me. How strange can this world be? I received messages in Facebook from people I have never talked to, asking me if I am alright. I am OK. Better than last night with the swollen eyes and running nose. =]

Anyways, I went to Mayday’s autograph session @ Central (Clarke Quay) today with my little sister and Feng Mei. And as usual, I have to rot at home first before heading out. And I was late. Sorry babe! Because I was hungry, so we went to grab some snacks at this place call “Full House“, I think “Ya Kun” will be a better choice (cheaper and nicer). Whatever it is, I actually encourage my little sister to buy the album and get their signature (since she’s buying it sooner or later). And I must say, they have an impressive autograph session. Because looking @ the crowd, my sister actually got their signature before 8p.m (the autograph session starts @ 7p.m and she was standing somewhere near the back entrance near subway!)! And then we went to walk around, and head back home. =] I must go to bed soon, because I have an interview @ 10a.m tomorrow morning! Wish me luck people! =D

Waiiitttt! Before I head to bed, I must say what I don’t like about autograph session.

First, it’s crowded with LOTS of inconsiderate people (from whatever country behaving as if they get to kiss/hold/touch the stars if they can stand nearer to the stage). Example: I didn’t realized there was a couple of CHINA people standing beside me and so naturally I went in front to get a better view since I’m short. But this 2 CHINA girls came and push me and STARED at me & Feng Mei as if we took their place. C’mon lah, if I accidentally stand at their place, what they can do is, they can be more civilized and tell me instead of pushing me which I particularly don’t like. I was thinking, if they wanna have a better view of the stars, why don’t they just go buy the album and join in the queue? In this way, they can LOOK AT them face to face and better still, get to shake hands with them!

Second, people who kept squeezing in between me and other stranger. As they can see, there isn’t much space and it’s not like they are bamboos that they can squeeze into the tiny gap between me and another strangers. And c’mon lah, we are there to take pictures (although the DJ say NO SNAPPING allow.. but when Mayday arrived, everyone took out their cameras and start snappng. So WHO the hell cares about that?).

Third, because these people wanna take a closer look @ Mayday, so they are standing in front of the stores blocking the way. So what the security can do was to shoo people from entering that area. So if we wanna go to the stores next to the stage, we have to go one big round. Like WTF right? I admit, we wanted to stand that, but we walked away when the security says we can’t stand there and block the shops. Because we have to be more considerate towards others right? I mean, there is a reason why we attended school. Where are all your manners? Sigh. So disappointing right?

Whatever it is, though there isn’t much people like the “Little Nonya” meeting session, I almost go crazy because it’s quite hard to walk around. And I’m sure I will not attend such functions unless I’m CRAZY over that particular star. =X But lucky I don’t.

This shall be the very very very last time I am gonna write about him. Because our story ends as of today (Sunday, 04.01.2009). No more. This time I was the one making the decision though I feel a little regret, but still… what’s said has been said… I can’t cry over spilled milk anymore right? I was very pissed off because even though I was his girlfriend, I was treated like as if I am his girl friend. See the difference? Of course, that’s because he’s facing me not others. Whatever it is, I am so tired of repeating this over and over again, so please spare me from this agony alright?

I have been crying since I came back from his house without talking, or even slightest eye contact. The more I control, whenever someone talk to me, the more my tears will just flow out.. I sounded weak I know.. But this is me, crying over a break up. I went to meet Teck Yong at JP just now, and return to the fitness corner near my house and I just kept on crying and crying and crying, until I am very tired. But what’s there to cry over? A break up? A heartless man? I think I’m crying over a heartless man and my own stupidity. Everyone knew this is gonna happen again and yet, I chose to go back to him, allowing it to come true. It’s my bad.

Because of this, everyone doesn’t really bother about me. I will make my decision wiser the next time round. But lucky for me, I always got my good friend around me. =D

Whatever it is, I am leaving everything about Kong Jin Jie behind me.. I want to move on.. I can’t stay and always get myself hurt. I can’t do this anymore.

Ask me, ask me if I feel hurt. Ask me, ask me how does it feel like to be hurt thrice. ASK ME.

I can tell you straight into your face, that I HATE MY STUPIDITY. I gave up others to TRY this so-called relationship and I end up being hurt again. *Clap clap clap* Why does everything about him is so true? WHY? He used the same knife and stab at my heart over and over again. I can no longer breath anymore. My heart has stopped once again. I could have forgotten about him 7 months ago. SEVEN BLOODY MONTHS. It took me more than 7 MONTHS to settle my heart and he’s back with the SAME STUNT again. Am I stupid or what? Perhaps the problem really lies with me. Why do I have to be so persistence in this no-feelings-involved relationship? Reality in relationship is always cruel towards me. I haven’t been cruel to anyone (perhaps only towards Nicholas). I feel like I am so useless because I can’t even maintain a proper relationship. He say he just wanna TRY. What’s there to TRY when we have TRIED 2 times? It’s a total waste of my time. I promise, I will learn to stand up on my own. It’s time to face the music. I shall shed no tears for him anymore. This is the last time, I swear.

I wished you know how broken hearted I am right now. I wished you know my heart is crying because of you. I wished you know that I misses you. I wished you know just how much I have love you.

Why do you have to be so cruel towards me? WHY? Am I not worthy of your time? Am I not worthy of your effort to make this relationship work?

It seems like I am the one asking for something more than a friend. I don’t want to be your girlfriend in name, and behaves like a friend. I want to be like any other couples. I want to hold your hand, I wanna meet up with you, I wanna have hugs and kisses. Is this too much to ask for?

I asked myself, what do I gain from this relationship besides feeling unhappy most of the time? I wished to gain some of YOUR time, some of YOUR love, some of YOUR effort. I was happy when you show some concern towards me, but why does this concern seems to be so short term? Am I not worth to be care about? After all, I am just a girl.

Knowing you’re not asleep and yet, you are not replying me… hurts very much.

I HATE to hear from you: “SEE HOW FIRST”, “WHY MUST MEET?”, “WE DON’T HAVE TO MEET EVERYDAY”, “GO WHERE?”, “DO WHAT?”, “I AM SURE YOU CAN FIND SOME FRIENDS TO GO OUT WITH” etc… Why is it so hard to meet my own bf when YOUR friend can meet you ANYTIME? I am so broken hearted now.

I finally got my birthday pressie from my little sister (although it’s late, I gave hers 6 months later. LOL). It’s an organizer! Yea, a new organizer for a brand new year! =D And this is a very colorful organizer ok. LOL. But the thing is, I have to fill up the months and weeks myself. Troublesome, but THANK YOU!

I went to JP because I realized I didn’t really have a chance to carry little Alyssa since yesterday. And today, I still didn’t have the chance to. So sad right? =[ So I decided to go JP to shop with Alyssa instead. (I mean it’s her MUM who does the shopping of course) And she’s really quiet in her own pram, living in her own world. And when you do some funny faces, her face will look blank. Of course, she’s too young to understand what I am talking about because I kept telling her to say “Hi” or do the “High 5” action to me. LOL. Silly right? Ahhh. =]

Nevertheless, I went to this place call Club @ CSC for some singing and bowling action with Teck Yong, Alvin, Wei Xiong and Yujie (he came in much later because he doesn’t sing). And guess what? I waited half and hour for these guys (except for Yujie) to arrive. And Teck Yong told me he reached the place around 7pm but was smoking outside. =.=||| That’s not my problem lah. He should know I was waiting for him right? And I must say the place is very lok kok. And it really stinks. =| And the system is damn lousy oso. But it’s $10/hr excluding drinks. And what’s best is, I am entitled to FREE singing and bowling. I think my bowling sucks to core. I must practice more! Alvin even mocked at me by saying “the kid next lane plays better than you leh”. OMG. I shall not let history repeat itself!!

**Did I mentioned that I ate almost 4 packets of hot and spicy chipster?** =X

Yes yes yes! This is the best year ever! Because this is the FIRST time I spent my New Year with my love one. =]

Yes, this is the 1st time I spent my New Year Eve with my Baby! We went to Esplanade to meet Don and Jiafei. And countdown together! I think I am just so easily satisfied right? After that we have to squeeze our way towards Suntec and the crowd was …. unbearable because there was too many people. So we went to Bugis to have supper. And of course, Baby wants a drink. So we went to a pub nearby and had a few drinks and suddenly Rau called so Baby says we are changing place to CHIJMES because Rau called him to get cab, and he got a little worried. While we are making our way to CHIJMES, Rau called to inform him that she got a cab. And he got a little angry. After that he’s appeased. Then, he received a call from Yuting and then we headed to Boat Quay to wait for her. And by the time she came, she was already quite high from the all the alcohol she drank before meeting us. And you know what happens when she gets drunk. Sigh.

Nevermind, at least I’ve spent quality time with my Baby because I don’t get to meet him everyday. =D

*muacks muacks muacks*

the another couple.

Us.

Pics of the fireworkssss! =D








Videos of Fireworks @ Marina Bay