1) I realized if I got no money people will leave me because they must be thinking that they have support a jobless person (that’s me)

2) I realized when the acer person called and inform me that my laptop’s motherboard needs to be replaced and that will cost me $600, I am like WTF?

3) I realized the days without my beloved laptop is beyond words of descriptions.

4) I realized that I have been a few interviews and I am still jobless, WHY? Perhaps I didn’t prepare myself enough. Not well prepared. Doesn’t have any knowledge of what the company does before I went for my interview. In short, I did not prepare myself for the interviews and at the end of the day who can I push the blame to except myself?

5) I realized whenever I am upset, I will spout nonsense to people I am close to. People like Teck Yong. I have made him real mad this time by saying things that I shouldn’t have said. But what’s done has been done, I can’t go back to the past and click “UNDO”. Life doesn’t happen this way. So what I need to do is, I need to stand on my feet and stop all this sadness feelings that I have now. I know there are hell lots of people out there concerning about me, but sometimes, such concerns turns into stress. I have no idea why, I guess it’s just me now. Everyday, I just hope that I can get a job, ANYTHING. Teck Yong asked me question which everyone is asking me, “What job am I looking for?”

Seriously? I don’t know. I have not think of such questions before, and all I know is I need a job for survival. I have bills to pay, things to buy, license to get and many other more and now, all I can do is feeling lousy and hopeless at home. I know that he’s trying to advise me to be more open to different kind of jobs instead of just looking for administrative work, customer service… even my sister’s ex boss say I should try sales job. Ok, my sister agreed too because I always persuade her to buy things that works on me perfectly but doesn’t seems to work on her and for this, you can’t blame me. Different people have different skin complexion. I know he’s trying to advise me to save my little leftover money for the future use since I do not have a job now. I know he cares a lot and I feel real bad for saying those nasty stuffs to him. And he sure knows what I want. But I know I need to change such attitude because I do not want to make him feel hurt by my words/actions.

I seriously need help on this. Can someone help me please? Can someone remind me not to do such stupid things anymore. And I will strive harder to make my life better. So, I should start thinking about the questions that the interviewer asked me today.