WOW.. i m so tired to online recently. lol. thus i’m online now.. to blog.. oh well, many things happened..

Friday 05052006

Worked 12-8pm.. and was doing cashier for lunch as well. but i already couldn’t reali rem.. lol.. pat was suppose to teach sophia bar and she was so busy doing other things as well and only helped out when she’s busy. and when it’s my turn to go break with siti & she told me that she doesn’t have enough money to eat so i shared my food with her otherwise she will have to wait until 8pm den can go home eat!! =] and den i slack at tcc after 8pm to wait for gf to finish her tuition at 8.30pm and meet her at DG. and we had our dinner at Cafe Cartel.. i expect the spag that i’m eating is spicy and it turns out to be tomato base. *disappointed* and den we walk to cineleisure wanting to pay amin a visit since he’s working closing. lol. so we were sitting behind since there isn’t any seat available.. was sitting ard chatting with ah kang which after that we were sitting in the middle of the kitchen drawing like a small kid. LOL.. after that we went out to talk with amin when we are suppose to go home like 1.10am? LOL.. and we ended up going home at 2plus. =.= tired so i didn’t online and fall aslp immed after i bath~

Saturday 06062006

Not working today! was suppose to go for meeting at 1pm but i overslept and have stomach ache and i dunno what pain is that. watever that is i went to CQ to meet gf, bin bin, wati & sue.. after that me, gf & bin bin went to bugis to buy present for damien‘s bday.. we went to slack at The Coffee Bean bcos bin bin wants to write his bday for him.. after that they went to watch movie at 9pm and i went to meet duckie.. when he asked me if i want to eat & i was too full to eat. he walked one round the foodcourt and told me he wants to go drinking. and i followed him to C.A.N cafe place to drink and of cos i didn’t drink when i hate the taste of beer. he was talking all the way while i keep slience and he started to cry after which i start talking sense to him.. sometimes i feel his frens a bit ridiculous in talking.. whatever they said doesn’t make sense to me. and i almost cancel the movie date bcos he drink.. but we still went bcos after that we are ok already and he apologised for doing that. we had our movie – Mission Impossible 3 at The Cathay. our movie threater is the GRAND cathay!! damn, it was so grand. after that we went to have “dinner” bcos he’s hungry sent me home after that which i’m too tired to online & fall aslp!! hahaha…

i gotta go and cont to update tonite! =)

was so busy and tired recently. has been working opening for the past 2 days except today. =) worked opening with nana and it’s nice lah. even though i have to wake up early and was late a bit on wed bcos my mama forget to wake me up. =P but lucky for me, nana helped me to time in. heh heh heh. i have been doing cashiering job this whole wk and hosting for last whole wk. damn.. lunch was a bit screwed up bcos starkey forget and mixed up.. and it will get better.. it was so busy today till i didn’t even have any time to rest. i just feel that starkey & siti was a bit lazy in some way.. they are actually taking their own sweet time doing stuffs.. nvr even top things that needed to top up.. nvr even bother to help the barista to wash the glasses.. nvr clear up the glasses.. i just have to help and do those. siti only move when i told her to arrange the menu(s) bcos they are in a mess. =_= oh well. we were so busy and yet, she still can move so slowly.. oh man. the future teacher. hahaha. our chicken wings was sold out today!! damn. =X didn’t have the chance to see the chicken wings anymore. and it was full hse for about 2 hours for dinner time today & we hit our target!!! isn’t cool? muahaha. obviously. today jiayong cook some japanese soup and asked me try & give some comments, i was surprised but i tried it anyway.. and it’s nice! muahaha, so i drank everything. den me gf went to have some supper which in the end we decided or rather she decided to go swensen’s to have some ice cream. lucky for me, wati treat me my dinner so i still have 5bucks. and now, i still have 5 bucks. LOL. ok lah. i have eye bags now and i need to slp!! ytd was so tired till i reach home at 9pm, and i went to bed almost immed.. my mama ask me to go bath.. and i was so angry with duckie.. and i dun wanna talk abt it anymore. argh.. and tues i went to buy the coach tickets to KL with damien and yes! we are lucky enough to buy the one for fri morning.. phew.. i was a bit disappointed.. =) but now, i am happY~ LOL.. ok lah, enough of my nonsense and go bath & watch some da chang jin before i slP~

30th april 2006

i had soooo much fun till it’s a bit sad for me to leave. =P the bbq we had for amin was so successful, even though i didn’t help to plan it, it was definetely a great job. let’s have more of it. spent most of my time in the swimming pool with gf. having fun doing the following things:

1) kicking water trying to learn swimming myself
2) float on the ball in the water and try VERY hard to swim on it but apparently i just float & can’t move. lol.
3) play with the water gun
4) play water volleyball
5) crapping to come out with some mischellvous pranks
6) chasing our boss, tim, ard to shoot him & of cos in return got ourselves “shot”
7) chasing damien, fang chew & kah wei ard the pool (along with gf as well) bcos of the water guns
8) throw amin into the water again & again & in return he throw me in despite i told him i dunno how to swim.

yup, this is what we are doing the whole time in the pool. lol~ and i get out of the water to eat my fav – chicken wings. LOL. maybe when the people realised how come there isn’t anymore chicken wings, oh well.. it’s ME who ate them all. hahah. oOPs~ and den we head back hm after changing and gift presentation & some speech as well. and i watch Da chang Jin till almost 4am den i went to bed!

1st May 2006

ok, woke up late today so i can’t reach duckie‘s hse on time. so i waited for my dad to send me there.. and i reached his hse almost 2.30pm and watch da chang jin until 3plus den we headed off to his ah ma’s hse first. was a bit angry that he didn’t tell me we will only go off later at 3plus and make me feel so rush. =.= but things get better after that. brought the hard disk to his ah ma’s hse to watch and after watching 2 episode, we headed to Upper Thomson Rd to have the bday celebration. we had zi cha at some kind of seafood “resturant” and it was indeed delicious. we left the place like about almost 9pm den we head back to duckie‘s hse before he send me home. ger ger always pee on my leg whenever she got so excited. =.= muahaha. ok lah. time to go bed!! working opening tml~

I was so forgetful til i have forgotten to wish edwin happy 20th bday on fri(28th april). i wanted to leave a testimonial for him in frenster today but, even i do that he will not accept.. so i gave up the idea.. so i smsed him today.. it’s a bit late but still… lucky for me he replied.. and he will be enlisted in sep.. but i dun think i will have any chance of going out with them b4 they get enlisted or whatsoever. although things lidat hurts but i have learnt to live with it. if u can’t beat them, join them. =)

i had such a fun time going out with gf taking pics on fri after work. we went to have dinner at MW’s tcc bcos it is much quieter there and we had some fun time taking pics which, pity.. i can’t post up bcos my nokia hp doesn’t come with the USB cable (and wat? it costed abt $88).. maybe i will get a bluetooth set for my laptop so i can at least bluetooth it my laptop and upload. =P i will post the pics i took with her after i ask her to send me which apparently i have forgotten. =[

spent the whole day at home today bcos of something that happened btwn me & duckie last nite makes me slept only this morning. waking up and went back to slp after i have headache. aawww.. wanted to go tcc to buy food with the rest but.. i better apologise to tim tml. sorry to tong lei too. sigh.. it’s not that good that i always failed to turn up. and i’m excited over the BBQ tml.. i get to play water and take MORE pics with them!! muahaha.. and of cos, on monday i will be going over to duckie‘s hse to go with his family to his ah ma’s bday in the evening time. he said we will be having dinner at thomson.. hmmm.. which i barely have any idea where is that place.. =X and the worse part is i haven’t buy any present nor i have money for his ah ma’s red packet.. oh dear… duckie‘s money is low and so is mine.. shdnt spend so much ytd. lol. thinking on the brighter side, duckie is getting his pay on money & i’m getting my pay the wk after next or if they are fast enough i’ll get it next wk. =P which is almost impossible i guess. helped my mama wash dad’s car today. and yes, i finally had the chance to see the car bcos i am always barely home when they are awake. =P it’s a tough job. but i like. it reminds me that i haven’t washed car for let’s say 8 yrs? since my pri 6 time my dad sold his car away, i had nvr see a “family” car anymore. and now we finally own one! and after working i sat in the car while daddy drove to the opposite to park his car bcos the season parking for my block is sold out thus he has no other choice. =P it’s cooL~ muahaha. time to own a car license too. i will need to save quite a bit of money as well.. duckie says he wants to bring me to aust b4 he enlist into army. and what? yiep soon saw me in my pyjamas.. OMG, i feel like a crazy woman. hahaha.

i guess it’s time for me to slp and stop watch da chang jin and cont later. lol. i m a korean drama fan i guess. oh yes, to my sweetheart amy.. rem that i’m always here for u alright. give me a call when u need someone to talk to. dun worry abt ur bf. everything will eventually work out well for u guys. =] nitey~

The Potters’ Hand

Beautiful Lord, wonderful saviour
I know for sure, all of my days are held in Your hands
Created into Your perfect plan

You gently call me, into Your presence
Guiding me by, Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord
To live all of my life through Your eyes

I’m captured by, Your Holy calling
Set me apart
I know You’re drawing me to Yourself
Lead me Lord I pray

Take me, Mould me
Use me, Fill me
I give my life to the Potter’s hands
Hold me, Guide me
Lead me, Walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter’s hand

After crying out, i feel much more better.. I love everyone around me and seriously i reali do. no one is perfect. even the most perfect person in the world has his/her own flaws. i don’t want to be look upon by others as i’m useless. i am trying hard to be whatever duckie wants me to be and i know he’s trying hard to be whatever i want him to be. but now, i need to destress. i feel so stressed and unhappy but i can’t show out.. but now, i am definitely feeling better and much more relieved. i know my own temper. i couldn’t control myself and even today, i most shouted at nana.. it’s my bad.. i have everything bottled up in my heart for too long, my angers, my frustration.. but somehow i feel it’s not over yet.. i need some more time.. and when i’m back from genting, i’ll start all over again.. i wouldn’t rem those who are not worthy to rem. i don’t even having any other relationship before duckie. did i? No, i don’t think so. i’m switching to full time next month after my genting trip. some changes will be made.. more money earned but of cos, staying long in tcc isn’t gonna help me. i have intention to study Marketing in SIM.. so i will need to save some money for that if possible too.. i feel like, i m starting to have a life and i’m NOT going to let whoever that is to ruin me anymore. help me please. i’m leaving the past behind.. and duckie to me is imp too besides my sweethearts & gf & ppl in tcc. i’m ditching EVERYTHING bad behind me. i don’t wish to live in anymore sadness. =] oh cheer up.. and i always rem how God saved me when i needed His help.. and den suddenly i realised, this is what i have been neglecting – God. time to change myself. Be more responsible and of cos, that wouldn’t change the fact that i’m still so irritating! =P “To the AIRPORT~~~”

Don’t sms me or come my blog anymore. Ever since I found out how you backstabbed me and lied about me behind my back there is already no more love left in me for you. To think you can even use friendster to find out about my friends and secretly message them to backstab me, and then turn around and say that I am looking for trouble with you. I cannot imagine anymore what your heart has become. I don’t know what else to call you but a lying bitch, because that is what you are.
And stop using booboo as an excuse to look for me for help whenever you are in trouble. Go and use donald for all I care. He wish to be your toy but me and booboo is not your toy anymore.

to reply his very fantastic msg that he left for me in his blog. here it goes..

1) i m never interested in ur friends nor i have the time to go friendster and “backstab” u. and seriously, if i really wanna “backstab” u, i’ll make sure i do a good job without leaving any trace. or if i really wanna “backstab” u, i make sure i really do. and if people agrees, den it’s their problem never mine. or if those people really knows u in & out, why they doubt or believes in my so-called “lies”? was that because i’m a good liar? and if by saying “hi, how do u know my friend” is considering “backstabbing”.. den many people might have “backstabbed” by me. =]

2) i cannot imagine anymore how u have became. a nice guy? a even more nice guy? to me, u dealt with r/s so unprofessionally. u broke up with me bcos of a guy who is my friend and nothing more. i refuse to patch up with u for someone who is more than a friend and yet, at that point of time i still hasn’t love him as much as i love u. but now, i love him more than i love u even though he makes me mad.. but i still love booboo the most. and i will nvr use her to “use” u like what u said.

3) if u say i’m a bitch, den i am. this proves everything. i’m ah lian. everyone in workplace calls me that. unlike u who is self claimed poet who scolds me and ONLY me bitch. i’m uncilivised in some way and cilivised in another. unlike u, everything u ever said to me was, i fuck guys, i like to be touched by guys when i go clubbing, i used booboo to use u, duckie is my toy, i betrayed u, i backstab u thru ur frens, to many to think of. i can say that i loved u. but, i can dun need a guy in my life like what u claimed i need. u said i need a guy and any guys will do. but u r wrong, i dun need a guy like u and i will never need one. ppl in tcc (rx) is who i needed, and i find myself comfortable even though there is misunderstanding. i feel i have some worth there rather than when i’m with u.

4) as time pass by, when i’m back from genting.. i will miss booboo lesser but that doesn’t mean i dun love her. i still love her but knowing i wouldn’t be able to see her.. i wouldn’t pin much hope on seeing her. nor i will still go ur hse to see her anymore. i have things to do. but, i would rather u throw her away then giving some OTHER woman to touch her.

end of message.

Modem was down on monday thus i didn’t have the chance to update. ever since dad undergoes operation for his heart batt, he’s on MC until i dunno when. and i seriously hate it when parents stayed at home and start nagging at me.. getting sick of it. it’s not as if i’m not working and ask them for money. at least i am working part time now and going to be full time next month after my genting trip with gf, damien & duckie. den i will have more money.. =]

i was so angry with she-who-shall-not-be-named ytd. there was this customer who came in and sat down at table 5A and after which he asked for ice water and before i could give him he walked away w/o informing me whether he’s coming back or not. and she-who-shall-not-be-named saw it because she was standing beside me.. so i explained to her and she like blow things up.. i almost blow up and scold her. zzzz.. i’m so lazy to type bcos i wanns watch da chang jin. so i update more. =)

i had a fun time ytd. went to have steamboat with damien, gf, bin bin, sophia & sue (which after missy went off to meet her sister den sue went to meet her fren 1st)… after the steamboat, we went to do some window shopping.. after that we went to Cineleisure to pay amin a visit. it’s been a long time sinec i last saw him. hehe. and he’s still a pervert, nothing about him changes except he has changed his name tag from beckham to amin back. lol. me & sue had chicken wings but she only ate 1.. i had my oreo milkshake and OMG, it’s in the soda glass instead of the normal aloha glass.. hehe.. den we went to kbox and sing all the way until 6am! OMG.. that’s the longest kbox session i had with them. we sung 6 hrs! and i feel like my throat is so dry. lol. =) me & gf wanted to watch movie but they didn’t want so we suggest kbox instead and they didnt want also.. was a bit disappointed but in the end they still went.. they were so indecisive about going bcos they are tired.. i’m very tired too. but i haven’t had any fun for so long. and yes, i had fun. lol. but the thing is, i wasn’t reali enjoying too. bcos of duckie loh. he keep kp me.. and i can’t stand it.i can’t stand his attitude. i can’t stand it. i can’t stand he always expect me to do this and that. he expected me to tell him everything, my whereabout etc. i HATE it. it’s getting on my nerves. and i missed him.

i’m out of my mind. everyday i’m fearing that someone might login my frenster and start deleting my little booboo’s pic.. i’m upset.. sigh.. i need slp so much.. gd nite

i need a life. whenever i felt that someone is happy, and i think about it den i realised.. my life is totally in a mess. i have stopped believing in fairy tales when i feel the urge to grow up fast. fairy tales about everlasting love is a bit bullshit to reality like these. like a girl running into another man’s arm when she has got a bf. like a guy breaking a girl’s heart and still say he loves her. like a someone in the relationship having an affair. like some people, happy get themselves married, next day unhappy they divorved. who knows? me? i am a bitch. i wish i am. i needed to cry.. i need booboo to cry on.. i need someone to lean on and not someone to stick to me like a glue not knowing what i’m thinking about. My thoughts. i tried to think of other as well. but still, everything turns out the same. i need to occupy myself with things so that my thoughts wouldn’t wander back into the past and keep pondering about it. i need a break. out of singapore. to somewhere where i can relax myself.. i feel like i have made a few grave mistakes that i can’t take it back once they are done. life is a bitch.