ah, yes. he said people got the right to know. it’s ME who look for him. not the other way round. so please dun mistaken that alright. haha. =)

It’s not the world that’s suck. it’s me who is suck. i made everyone dislike me. haha. i used edwin & co? it was because i’m no use to them tat’s why they say i m using them. haha. rem the misunderstanding? he knew i was sick cos i was with him, he didnt even fucking tell kean lee and ended up i was branded a liar (bcos to mr. nice guy once a liar forever a liar.) by him cos i went to edwin’s hse to play mahjong the next fucking day when the previous day i got DB presentation and was too sick to go sch. that was VERY nice of him. and i didn’t know he was that helpful. it was simply bcos he doesnt wan anyone to know that he’s in contact with me. =) i knew it. lol. edwin & co is blacklisting me bcos they buay song i treat him like shit? oh man. what the fuck have i done to him that they think i’m treating him like shit? can they fucking tell me? haha. they can’t man. based on his story and so-called what they see.. i’m ill-treating him who is mr.nice guy. i’m so sorry people. i didn’t know i was so fucking bad. damn. i must do some self reflection otherwise i will go friendless someday. haha. it’s pointless when i was fucking trying to change myself, and these people whom i like to hang out with, fucking block me. thanks for fucking letting me know the truth, otherwise i will always pinning to see them online when i will NVR EVER see them online again. hahaha. such truths only HE the GODLIKE one can tell me. one thing for sure, they dunno me. they only know sze tien. hahahahaha. fuck. how can a shitty person like me treat someone who is even more shitty than me like a shit? that will be an insult to shit. where did the good things i have done for him gone to? oh, i forgot. i NVR treat him gd. =) i ill treated him. i must remember this fucking fact. and 1 thing for sure is i nvr fucking love him. in a r/s with him so that i can use him. haha. tat’s rite. u got it correct~

? . . says:
ha
? . . says:
u give me up u give up more than just my love
? . . says:
u give up my frenship
? . . says:
u give up frenship of edwin n co
? . . says:
now u got everything u wan liao
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
i give up my frenship with them
? . . says:
happy ??
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
wat does me n u gotta do with them!!!!!!!!
? . . says:
haha bcos they very buay song to see u treat me like shit
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
oic
? . . says:
n u say i backstab u
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
hah
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
thanks for telling me
? . . says:
the prob is they din like u even before u r with me so how i backstab u ?

? . . says:
i dont even need to
? . . says:
dont blame anyone when u wan to die n u find u got no true frens around u
? . . says:
u drive everybody away
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
yeah

? . . says:
haha u give up real frens for ur “best frens” then u should be very happy by now
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
my real frens
? . . says:
this is everything u choose

? . . says:
u should be as happy as me
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
u saying they are my ‘real frens’ when they dun like me even B4 i’m with u
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
ha
? . . says:
haha last time when u need help in lamerville everybody helped u
? . . says:
everybody give u item in gb
? . . says:
kean lee give u ur angel suit rem ?
? . . says:
how u treated everyone ?
? . . says:
they r real frens
? . . says:
but u r the kind of ppl who use frens n throw them away
? . . says:
so now u r surrounded by the same type of ppl as u r
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
kl give me angel suit is bcos my bday
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
lamerville
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
hah
? . . says:
his bday u give him wat shit ?
? . . says:
my bday u give me wat shit ?
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
ha
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
his bday got ask meout
? . . says:
edwin bday u give him wat shit ?
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
ha
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
my bday wat shit they give me
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
at least i rem
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
they rem mine
? . . says:
ha angel suit not shit ?
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
ha
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
is bcos i told him
? . . says:
edwin give u a clown nose not shit ?
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
ha
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
edwin gave u too wat
? . . says:
haha how u know they dont rem urs ?
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
bcos he say he’s not playin gb anymore
? . . says:
we r good frens too wat
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
ha
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
they rem mine
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
how do u know they even know mine
? . . says:
haha they rem
? . . says:
haha they rem
? . . says:
they even rem derek
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
ha
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
oh reali huh
? . . says:
haha ur prob to believe or not
? . . says:
continue with ur happy life
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
hah
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
nothing makes it convicing when i dun see anything
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
all i realise is edwin & yx blocked me
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
ha
? . . says:
whoa
? . . says:
u dun see anything so u not convinced ?
? . . says:
cannot just words then u belive meh ?
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
yeah
? . . says:
need action one ah ?
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
for 1 thing i m so sure
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
tat is they reali dun like me
? . . says:
how come aanything u say no need action ?
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
hah
? . . says:
haha not only them
? . . says:
me too
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
yeah
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
everyone
? . . says:
read my nick
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
yeah
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
blacklist me
? . . says:
haha
? . . says:
duckie nv blacklist u wat
? . . says:
y dun go find him ?
(｡◕‿◕｡) (◕.◕) yUnnIe (◕.◕) (｡◕‿◕｡) bOO! says:
ha

well, thanks for telling me all those things and make my doubts’ ans even more clearer.

Even Amin can tell i’m so quiet today. “what happen to u today huh? normally u r like a parrot talking non stop.” haha. when amin say this i was like laughing at him. yeah. i admit i’m a bit not in my old self. Even damien can see i’m not happy when i went to work today. but his cold jokes aint working on me. and ended up he got suan by me. haha. he ask me why whenever he see me outside, i’m ‘angry’. hahaha. he’s just not his luck. but perhaps he’s a nice person. wati is so bad today. she put whip cream on my face when i tot she’s going to eat it, and i laughed too loud. damn. i got shocked till i don’t know that’s a shout or laugh. haha.. so erin let me do bar.. play play inside. hahaha. play until it’s time to go hm..

ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu. ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu. ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu. ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu. ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu. ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.ihateu.

duckie‘s not feeling well today. ytd he told me he wants to look for me today but i refused. he said doc came to see him and say he got blood circulation problem. so his sister will bring him to see a doc tml. he wanted to look for me ytd too. i refused. i don’t even wanna talk to him. shd be, i don’t even feel like talking to anyone. sorry darling i walked away ytd. i’m so tired frm everything. i’m running away from what is seems to be our problem. i don’t like it when duckie is so petty. can’t he just believe me or i’m not that trustworthy person? crap. asking me some i-can’t-ans & those-can’t-be-ans qns. what he want me to do? when i nvr give him a reply, he will walk very fast. duh. i had enough of everything. him. him. him. and him.

Jas called me ytd. it’s so rare. he hasn’t call me since he got gf. so he called me ytd to complain about his gf. attitude. at least my attitude is better than his gf. haha. but i just listen to whatever he wanna say. chatted on fone for an hr.. and duckie say i chatted for very long.. -_- sigh. jas ah. funny guy who keep saying he wanna kiss my lips. -_- lame guy. haha.

ytd, it was fang chew who sms me, now it’s damien. ahaha. everyone is taking turn to sms me? alright lah. haha. at least i got someone to chat with and to talk to. damien saw me unhappy just now so he’s asking me wat’s wrong. yeah. i love my perfume. ha.

i finally realised that.. he made me realise this. it’s the past he‘s hanging on to. and, i’m not going to live in that past anymore. not anymore. i was suppose to be happy today. he saw me replying sms to darling.. he wanted to snatch my hp away. but i hold it on my hand.. tightly.. i tot i haben see him for a long time.. i can at least make myself feel much more better. first he say my shoes is like auntie and is very ugly. den he scold me for using my hp. den after that he take out the past and say. say what i used to do this to him too. ha. but the prob is i NVR HAD ANY ATTEMPT TO SNATCH HIS HP FROM HIM OR STOP HIM FROM REPLYING HIS FRIENDS. and i nvr say anything to him man. saw that violent girl (oops, i mean brenda.. haha) & damien outside lido.. at least they make me smile for awhile. violent girl (oops, i mean brenda lah.), bought ice cream and we ate. after that i went to lucky plaza to look for him. den we went back to lido cos he wants to watch “Perhaps Love“, and we have already bought the tickets. from the beginning till the time we went home, i didn’t talk to him more than 5 sentences. brenda & damien watched the same show at the same time as me. saw brenda when i walked out and i tot of walking frm orchard mrt to bus stop she tap on my shoulder. sigh. and i saw no sign of him, so i have to look for him. den i took my bus hm.. and managed to catch the last 242 hm. otherwise i will have to walk hm already.

p.s. if u think i haven’t love u for the past 2 yrs, think again. haha. perhaps even u think again.. the ans will be, yes u nvr love me at all. that’s what u have been thinking. and i seriously dislike people to think me FROM the way they think. oh this is crap. if u were to think me that way, i have got nothing to say cos history repeats itself. and if u dun wanna watch that movie with me, pls dun ask me. i dun wanna waste money to get another hp if u manage to break my hp into halves. dun use such an excuse saying i keep smsing when i didn’t and try not to sms much. thank you. u despise me? it’s nothing new too. cos u did from the start. i have given u my heart. my soul. my time. my energy. my tears. my anger. my frustration. my everything. it’s ur thoughts that are breaking us down.

woke up late today. went to sch late today. everything about today is late. meet duckie. he teaching me how to do product cateloge blah blah. i’m done with my shopby. now i have to do my info & services. i was thinking of chaging it into something else otherwise i have lots of things to do. or mayb i will just put about us & contact us under that. hmm. let me think. i need to think properly and my brain isn’t really working. ha.

Story – Someone said he saw me killing someone with my own hands. He didn’t surrender me to the police but he told the rest what I have done instead. He said he saw me holding a sharp weapon and I have stabbed the person, at least a hundred times, to death when that person was straggling to stay alive. That person said the person I’m killing begged me. Begged me to let him/her stay alive. But I killed him/her anyways cause I have to. Ordered to kill that person.

Thoughts – I was trying to change. But my craziness is back again – to haunt me. I have nothing against anyone and I was hoping anyone has nothing against me. Living in this world is tough. I have to keep up with the pace everyone is walking. I can’t follow anymore. The more i tried to please someone, I failed. I have failed a hundred times. I’m surrendering to LIFE. The more i tried not to attitude to someone, my unstable mind drives me crazy again. LIFE. This is my life. I tried to work hard so that everyone recognizes my hardwork. I tried to be funny so I can entertain people. Attitude is me. I’m attitude. There are some people who can’t accept the way I’m, they critises me. There are some people who don’t know the way I’m thinking, they critises me – again. There are some people I love to be with, for some reasons, they left me. I don’t know what’s the hell wrong with me. Everything I do, unpleases everyone. If i had a chance. I would walk away. Walk to somewhere and start all over again. And then I will ask everyone “would you want to be my friend?” to start anew. A new me.

I promise I’ll be good. I promise I’ll be nice. I promise I’ll never break any promises again. I will never break any of my promises. Please don’t kill her. She’s my little child. Precious little baby. I swear I’ll never never leave you, my little baby. I swear.

it was a mistake.

i hate it.

being poor is worse than anything in the world.

reali.

and the feeling itself.. suck.

pui. i pui myself for being the world’s most lousiest person.

yeah.

tat’s me.

i hate to celebrate any festivals.

just leave me alone alright?

i’m not going to celebrate new yr’s eve.. duckie.

he knows everything b4 i could tell him. i hate it.

misunderstanding.

when can i ever clear it?

i don’t even think i will have the chance to.

oh god, help me.

i don’t feel gd.

in fact. i nvr feel good b4.

went to watch a movie just now. The Chronicle of Narnia. with duckie of cos. and guess what? i lost one side of my flower earring that brenda gave me. sigh. must be my slpy head.. dropped it when i was slpg in the bus just now. didn’t know the movie was about 2 hrs plus long.. took a NR hm.. now, i guessed it’s hard to find back that. sadded. going to slp now. byebye. i need a break from everything.

OMG!!! i got the perfume i want!! Clinique Happy Heart. =) cool~ it was given by Fang Chew (kitchen staff) frm my workplace.. =) he’s my santa claus.. hahaha.. =) so ytd i took pic with him cos EVERYONE there ask me to take pic with him.. haha.. duh.. so i took 1 with him.. no harm mah..
the flower earrings is what brenda give me.. =)

the star earrings is given by suzy~
and the hang hp thingy was given by patricia.. =)

i didn’t cook my chilli prawns so i went to old chang kee and buy fishballs instead.. =X i sit ard with brenda, micheal, jia yong, mason, & fang chew.. kekez.. we almost finish 1 whole box of pizza.. =X and tim said we are hungry ghost.. hahaha.. and tim went up to the bar and dance some what seems to be sexy bar top dancing.. lol.. we had a little dance party at the tCC and the guys just sat ard watching us.. oh man.. but we did have our fun~ and we took some pics.. lol.. was having some fun taking pics.. =) so the pic on the right is brenda, me & suzy~~ lol..
well, the one on the left is micheal’s turtle head.. if he sees this, he’s gonna kill me.. i went ard showing the pic to everyone.. and everyone had a good laugh.. oh man.. it’s so funny~ lol.. and the pic on the right is our second attempt.. lol.. it’s normal again~ =)

this is nana & me =)
she is the TCC captain..
and she’s very nice.

the one on the left is me & patricia. she’s the new MT. =)

left: me & sharon. she’s also a part timer there. =) funny person who always say ‘hey i go gents’. lol.

right: tim & me. he’s my boss~ haha.. a very funny and nice boss. =)

me & duckie~ lol.. at P.S’s mac.. =)

well, yes.. it’s me in my santa hat which i ‘bugged’ duckie to buy for me.. hahaha.. so happy with my hat~

the pic on the left is taken at duckie‘s hse.. and his cam is full of my pics.. -_- hahaha.. =X

and the pic on the right is taken outside OG.. hahaha.. =)

Alright, i think i have put up too many pics here.. LOL.. =) cya~ well upload some more soon~ hahaha.. =X

Thank god, my rashes subsided a bit more and it’s obviously better than ytd.. =) the doctor gave me a, yes, stronger atarax.. and.. it’s itchy still. now, my arms is itchy.. my leg is itchy.. but den it’s whole lot better than everywhere oso itchy.. kekez..

Was suppose to work today.. but i went down to TCC and told wati i’m still so fucking itchy (of cos without the fucking).. and i can’t help to scratch it.. so she told me to get an MC for today and so i took a train back to jurong and wait.. wait for duckie to acc me to go see doc.. and while waiting.. the rashes on my leg is gone thus, the doc refuse to give me MC.. oh well.. and the itch came back after i stepped out of the clinic.. wtf? i was thinking, mayb i shd move to the polyclinic and stay there.. so my rashes wun appear anymore.. =) lol. den i gotta call back TCC and tel amin and he say no need to go back.. so i went hm.. change into some thing better.. and went to duckie‘s hse and make the t-rex model.. haha.. and den i had dinner at his hse.. and cont to do my t-rex and watch tv at the same time.. and den went hm at 11pm..

i wanna go club tml.. drink n drink n drink. i wanna drop dead. so ppl leave me alone. i’m better off without anyone.

i m losing myself. when will i be able to find myself back?