Bloody hell. I am sick again. This time with sore throat and running nose. Like what the hell, so I have to reschedule my interview with Confusius – NTU to tomorrow. I emailed the person whom I am supposed to contact with. She told me it’s not possible to reschedule the interview as the ManagerS’s schedule are very tight as well. So I have to call her to let her hear my sexy voice so she can help me reschedule to tomorrow. Hopefully.

Thank you everyone for your care and concern. And I’m sure I will be alright in the next few days. I am starting to move on from Jin Jie slowly. Taking one step at a time. And of course, I won’t be able to do it without my good friends support and of course my little sister’s concerned too. =] I am surprised that even STRANGERS are concerned about me. How strange can this world be? I received messages in Facebook from people I have never talked to, asking me if I am alright. I am OK. Better than last night with the swollen eyes and running nose. =]

Anyways, I went to Mayday’s autograph session @ Central (Clarke Quay) today with my little sister and Feng Mei. And as usual, I have to rot at home first before heading out. And I was late. Sorry babe! Because I was hungry, so we went to grab some snacks at this place call “Full House“, I think “Ya Kun” will be a better choice (cheaper and nicer). Whatever it is, I actually encourage my little sister to buy the album and get their signature (since she’s buying it sooner or later). And I must say, they have an impressive autograph session. Because looking @ the crowd, my sister actually got their signature before 8p.m (the autograph session starts @ 7p.m and she was standing somewhere near the back entrance near subway!)! And then we went to walk around, and head back home. =] I must go to bed soon, because I have an interview @ 10a.m tomorrow morning! Wish me luck people! =D

Waiiitttt! Before I head to bed, I must say what I don’t like about autograph session.

First, it’s crowded with LOTS of inconsiderate people (from whatever country behaving as if they get to kiss/hold/touch the stars if they can stand nearer to the stage). Example: I didn’t realized there was a couple of CHINA people standing beside me and so naturally I went in front to get a better view since I’m short. But this 2 CHINA girls came and push me and STARED at me & Feng Mei as if we took their place. C’mon lah, if I accidentally stand at their place, what they can do is, they can be more civilized and tell me instead of pushing me which I particularly don’t like. I was thinking, if they wanna have a better view of the stars, why don’t they just go buy the album and join in the queue? In this way, they can LOOK AT them face to face and better still, get to shake hands with them!

Second, people who kept squeezing in between me and other stranger. As they can see, there isn’t much space and it’s not like they are bamboos that they can squeeze into the tiny gap between me and another strangers. And c’mon lah, we are there to take pictures (although the DJ say NO SNAPPING allow.. but when Mayday arrived, everyone took out their cameras and start snappng. So WHO the hell cares about that?).

Third, because these people wanna take a closer look @ Mayday, so they are standing in front of the stores blocking the way. So what the security can do was to shoo people from entering that area. So if we wanna go to the stores next to the stage, we have to go one big round. Like WTF right? I admit, we wanted to stand that, but we walked away when the security says we can’t stand there and block the shops. Because we have to be more considerate towards others right? I mean, there is a reason why we attended school. Where are all your manners? Sigh. So disappointing right?

Whatever it is, though there isn’t much people like the “Little Nonya” meeting session, I almost go crazy because it’s quite hard to walk around. And I’m sure I will not attend such functions unless I’m CRAZY over that particular star. =X But lucky I don’t.

This shall be the very very very last time I am gonna write about him. Because our story ends as of today (Sunday, 04.01.2009). No more. This time I was the one making the decision though I feel a little regret, but still… what’s said has been said… I can’t cry over spilled milk anymore right? I was very pissed off because even though I was his girlfriend, I was treated like as if I am his girl friend. See the difference? Of course, that’s because he’s facing me not others. Whatever it is, I am so tired of repeating this over and over again, so please spare me from this agony alright?

I have been crying since I came back from his house without talking, or even slightest eye contact. The more I control, whenever someone talk to me, the more my tears will just flow out.. I sounded weak I know.. But this is me, crying over a break up. I went to meet Teck Yong at JP just now, and return to the fitness corner near my house and I just kept on crying and crying and crying, until I am very tired. But what’s there to cry over? A break up? A heartless man? I think I’m crying over a heartless man and my own stupidity. Everyone knew this is gonna happen again and yet, I chose to go back to him, allowing it to come true. It’s my bad.

Because of this, everyone doesn’t really bother about me. I will make my decision wiser the next time round. But lucky for me, I always got my good friend around me. =D

Whatever it is, I am leaving everything about Kong Jin Jie behind me.. I want to move on.. I can’t stay and always get myself hurt. I can’t do this anymore.

Ask me, ask me if I feel hurt. Ask me, ask me how does it feel like to be hurt thrice. ASK ME.

I can tell you straight into your face, that I HATE MY STUPIDITY. I gave up others to TRY this so-called relationship and I end up being hurt again. *Clap clap clap* Why does everything about him is so true? WHY? He used the same knife and stab at my heart over and over again. I can no longer breath anymore. My heart has stopped once again. I could have forgotten about him 7 months ago. SEVEN BLOODY MONTHS. It took me more than 7 MONTHS to settle my heart and he’s back with the SAME STUNT again. Am I stupid or what? Perhaps the problem really lies with me. Why do I have to be so persistence in this no-feelings-involved relationship? Reality in relationship is always cruel towards me. I haven’t been cruel to anyone (perhaps only towards Nicholas). I feel like I am so useless because I can’t even maintain a proper relationship. He say he just wanna TRY. What’s there to TRY when we have TRIED 2 times? It’s a total waste of my time. I promise, I will learn to stand up on my own. It’s time to face the music. I shall shed no tears for him anymore. This is the last time, I swear.

I wished you know how broken hearted I am right now. I wished you know my heart is crying because of you. I wished you know that I misses you. I wished you know just how much I have love you.

Why do you have to be so cruel towards me? WHY? Am I not worthy of your time? Am I not worthy of your effort to make this relationship work?

It seems like I am the one asking for something more than a friend. I don’t want to be your girlfriend in name, and behaves like a friend. I want to be like any other couples. I want to hold your hand, I wanna meet up with you, I wanna have hugs and kisses. Is this too much to ask for?

I asked myself, what do I gain from this relationship besides feeling unhappy most of the time? I wished to gain some of YOUR time, some of YOUR love, some of YOUR effort. I was happy when you show some concern towards me, but why does this concern seems to be so short term? Am I not worth to be care about? After all, I am just a girl.

Knowing you’re not asleep and yet, you are not replying me… hurts very much.

I HATE to hear from you: “SEE HOW FIRST”, “WHY MUST MEET?”, “WE DON’T HAVE TO MEET EVERYDAY”, “GO WHERE?”, “DO WHAT?”, “I AM SURE YOU CAN FIND SOME FRIENDS TO GO OUT WITH” etc… Why is it so hard to meet my own bf when YOUR friend can meet you ANYTIME? I am so broken hearted now.

I finally got my birthday pressie from my little sister (although it’s late, I gave hers 6 months later. LOL). It’s an organizer! Yea, a new organizer for a brand new year! =D And this is a very colorful organizer ok. LOL. But the thing is, I have to fill up the months and weeks myself. Troublesome, but THANK YOU!

I went to JP because I realized I didn’t really have a chance to carry little Alyssa since yesterday. And today, I still didn’t have the chance to. So sad right? =[ So I decided to go JP to shop with Alyssa instead. (I mean it’s her MUM who does the shopping of course) And she’s really quiet in her own pram, living in her own world. And when you do some funny faces, her face will look blank. Of course, she’s too young to understand what I am talking about because I kept telling her to say “Hi” or do the “High 5” action to me. LOL. Silly right? Ahhh. =]

Nevertheless, I went to this place call Club @ CSC for some singing and bowling action with Teck Yong, Alvin, Wei Xiong and Yujie (he came in much later because he doesn’t sing). And guess what? I waited half and hour for these guys (except for Yujie) to arrive. And Teck Yong told me he reached the place around 7pm but was smoking outside. =.=||| That’s not my problem lah. He should know I was waiting for him right? And I must say the place is very lok kok. And it really stinks. =| And the system is damn lousy oso. But it’s $10/hr excluding drinks. And what’s best is, I am entitled to FREE singing and bowling. I think my bowling sucks to core. I must practice more! Alvin even mocked at me by saying “the kid next lane plays better than you leh”. OMG. I shall not let history repeat itself!!

**Did I mentioned that I ate almost 4 packets of hot and spicy chipster?** =X

Yes yes yes! This is the best year ever! Because this is the FIRST time I spent my New Year with my love one. =]

Yes, this is the 1st time I spent my New Year Eve with my Baby! We went to Esplanade to meet Don and Jiafei. And countdown together! I think I am just so easily satisfied right? After that we have to squeeze our way towards Suntec and the crowd was …. unbearable because there was too many people. So we went to Bugis to have supper. And of course, Baby wants a drink. So we went to a pub nearby and had a few drinks and suddenly Rau called so Baby says we are changing place to CHIJMES because Rau called him to get cab, and he got a little worried. While we are making our way to CHIJMES, Rau called to inform him that she got a cab. And he got a little angry. After that he’s appeased. Then, he received a call from Yuting and then we headed to Boat Quay to wait for her. And by the time she came, she was already quite high from the all the alcohol she drank before meeting us. And you know what happens when she gets drunk. Sigh.

Nevermind, at least I’ve spent quality time with my Baby because I don’t get to meet him everyday. =D

*muacks muacks muacks*

the another couple.

Us.

Pics of the fireworkssss! =D








Videos of Fireworks @ Marina Bay

Today is New Year’s Eve. The very last day of 2008 and I feel a big hole in my pocket. Nevermind about that. Pay delays. Shit happens. Anyways, since it’s a new year, I supposed we need to come out with a NEW YEAR RESOLUTION! Have you come up with any? I am still cracking my brain to come up with some resolutions that I can achieve in the coming year. It’s quite stupid to come up with NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS and none of them I have achieve. Perhaps thinking of achieving half of them? Not too greedy I supposed. Let me do some flash back on what had happened for the past 12 months.

Janaury 2008
My first day working at ECU Line Singapore. The day I met Peili‘s close friends (Evelyn and Christina). And I have spent my last day of 2007 with Peili and Evelyn. This is also the month when I patched up with Baby for the 2nd time. I remembered I did not dare to tell the others because I was scare that they might scold me.

Feburary 2008
I spent my 2nd CNY with Baby.

I lost my wallet prior 2 days before CNYE and my morale was very low then. Searching high and low for it. Cracking my brain to recall the possible place I could have misplaced my wallet. Made my 1st police report and called up the cab company and pray really hard for someone to call me back. Lucky for me, 2 weeks later someone returned me my wallet with everything intacted. =D

March 2008
Organised a chalet @ Pasir Ris. This is the month where we ended our relationship for the 2nd time. It feels like Baby used a knife and pierced into my heart over and over again. He came to MY chalet with a girl whom he claimed was his friend. My heart sank once again. Crying bitterly. This is the first time I shouted at my bestie, Peili, for lying to me. Si Kai for bringing him over with that girl. They claimed they did not know what’s going on between them. All I knew the next time was, that day he went to Singapore Flyer with her. And I quitted my job.

April
My ah ma passed away on April Fool’s day. This is so sad.

I kept myself very busy so that I will not have my mind wandering. I was hving fun with Peili and Si Kai. Go drinking with them till wee hours. And I know I still misses him.

Had my first meet up with Teck Yong and co. And celebrated Teck Yong‘s birthday for the 1st time @ Kbox.

I found a job @ Creative! I was so happy! Because the pay was pretty high. Was looking forward to start my new job.

May 2008
My sister’s birthday and her wedding.

And I went to Jurong Bird Park for the 1st time with Teck Yong!! And I have finally see my penguins after so long! And I was laughing so hard at Teck Yong‘s BONGO BURGERS referring to a swan. LOL.

And I went JB with Si Kai, Yu Ji and Brandon! That was my 2nd time there. Because the 1st time I went with Sze Tien and had some bad experience there. =[ And it was my first time having dinner @ the hawker street of JB. We went to city square for a walk and have some singing actioN!

And then it’s Si Kai‘s birthday.

June 2008
This is the 1st time I saw Nicholas. And I told Peili my first impression of him was, the feeling he gave me was very Jin Jie. Perhaps it was just me and my weird thinking.

And I finally signed up for my Basic Theory Test @ BBDC. =D

July 2008
Up to this day, I still know in my heart that I misses him. And when I know thru facebook that he changed his number and MSN, I was even more heart broken. Baby deleted me from facebook and blocked me. And this is the month, I accepted Nicholas to force myself to move on. Which I think is a mistake.

Putting that aside, we went for ICE SKATING!

August 2008
Peili got a pet dog named Hugo! And we went to visit after work. =D

and it was my 1st month with Nicholas….

and I bought my 1st digital camera! And this is the start of my snap snap career!

September 2008
I passed both my BTT and FTT at one try! =D Am I smart or not? Hee.

And the world first night race! F1 facing~

And basically, I am always hanging out with Teck Yong and his friends. At this point of time, I have already wanted to break up with Nicholas. Because after 2 months together, I realized I just couldn’t do it.

October 2008
I have finally insisted on a break up. And Baby SMSed me after 7 months makes me…… I was so determined to be bad to him but it seems like I can’t do it.

The month after Zong Yang was enlisted.

Meet up with my poly friends after 2 years. =D

And the supervisor I hated the most. The one on the extreme LEFT.

The month my brother is being enlisted.

and this is the month I decided to cut my hair REAL SHORT.

The day my sister’s NEWBORN baby is born!! Her name is Alyssa Ng Le Xuan!

November 2008
My birthday!

I had my belated birthday with Teck Yong and his friends. Was supposed to go zoo. But because he’s meeting his friends for singing, so we went singing instead.

Meet up with Wei Kang on my birthday and went to take a stroll @ the long bridge near Fort Canning.

Went to Singapore Flyer for the 1st time with Baby. (he wasn’t my bf then)


And spent my time counting down to my birthday with my close friends! =D

December 2008
Meet up with my primary school friends after 11 years. =] and I had my 1st steamboat disaster. =X Pain like hell. And now, my thigh looks ugly. =[

Now that we are back together. I wondered if this is a right thing to do. I spent my 1st xmas eve with him. Because he went out with his friends on Xmas day. So sad right? I was left alone. And at times, I think we don’t agree on certain stuffs. Played mahjong with his aunty, sister and his brother-in-law just last week. This month, no much pics.

Now, back to my NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS for the year 2009. This time round I will come up with some practical ones. LOL. I think my resolution for the each new year are almost the same leh. And Baby hates it when I told him I don’t have much confident. Worse right? So I decided to have more confidence in myself in the coming year. So here I go~

1) Gain weight, gain weight, gain weight! Baby says I am getting more and more skinny. And this has been in my NY Resolution every year, so this time round.. this resolution stays put until I gain some weight and become a chio chio bu~! If possible, make me taller lah. I know I’m too old to grow tall already.

2) Since I have quit my job, I need to hunt for one soon. Possible in 1 or 2 weeks’ time. And hopefully it’s something interesting and not as boring as the job scope in Creative. Perhaps in a few years’ time I am a businesswoman already? Perhaps I will be earning big bucks in my next job?

3) Pass my Traffic Police Test at my FIRST try. I know everyone says it might not be possible. And with guy friends telling me to wear shorter skirts, low cut top or whatsoever.. I aint gonna do that! I am sure I can pass with my own effort. The only thing I’m lacking of is self confident. I know I can do it!

4) Do not say “NO” to opportunity. I am going to grab whatever is available now since economy recession is affecting everywhere now. Of course, that doesn’t mean I m going to resort to selling insurance. I am not that rich to sell property. So I shall see what’s coming up next.

5) I know this year I have been slacking away. Not serious in anything. I swear with my hands, my fingers, my toes and my feet that I am going to make 2009 a better year for me! Because it’s MY MOOMOO year! Hees.

And thinking now, it’s the 1st time I am spending my NYE with Baby! Heehees.

I smell freedom, finally. After 8 months of tolerating this stupid job of mine. Hooray! So I’m so happy I am OUT of the company. When I was looking at the stupid supervisor, I feel like going over and kick his leg. I know it sounds stupid. But this supervisor always aim at me.

Incident one:
People read magazine, read newspaper and he happened to saw it.. these people are FINE.
I read a book, he got my team leader to talk to me. Ok, FINE. I don’t read anymore

Incident two:
People uses MSN, surf net. They are safe because he didn’t saw them doing any of those.
But I am damn suay, he walked past me and saw me BLOGGING, so he went to check with MIS on what the hell I did with my computer. Example: I MSN or surf net. So he got MIS to print out my conversation with Peili. Ok, no big deal. So I stopped using MSN after that.

Incident three:
I am everyday late for work. Ok, my bad for being late for almost an hour on certain days due to overslept. So what’s the big deal? Look at all those permanent staffs. They never late for work meh? Ok lah, they late but they don’t go home OTD (on the dot), but if I don’t go home on time what am I supposed to do? Continue to hit the mosquitoes?

Incident four:
Took too much MC. Used up my 14 days. But the thing is, I AM REALLY SICK what. I cannot take MC meh? Ok perhaps out these 14 days MC, 2 days was probably because I was too lazy. But working in a call centre with less than 15 calls a day, I am really so important? Pui. Working 9.5 hours a day, most of the time I have nothing to do. And because I AM A CONTRACT STAFF so, I wasn’t assign to any ‘important’ task. Whatever.

So this supervisor, wants to speak to me with my timesheet. Out of the 28 days (this month), I was late everyday min 15 mins and 2 days out these 28 days i was late for an hour due to overslept. Oh well, so out of concern, he asked me if I think this job suits me. Of cos it doesn’t suit me. If this job is very important to me, I would have drag myself to work despite the tiredness. But the thing is, working in a call centre with nothing to do is even more tiring because I have to pretend to be busy everytime he walked pass. And WTF for? I see his LJ face I am already very unhappy already and I have tahan for 8 months. What for? Because the money isn’t attracting me. So what it’s high pay? I don’t ENJOY working in this environment at all. So this supervisor of mine told me “How? You cannot stay in CLA anymore and CLI and CLE doesn’t have any vancanies anymore? What do you think you should do?”. I wanted to asked him “So what do you think I should do? And what are you suggesting?”. Maybe I should say, “No, I don’t think I wanna quit yet.”. But I was so desperate to get out of that bloody place, so I say “Then I tender loh.”. So my supervisor say “Ok, then in your resignation letter please ask for wavier of 1 month notice. Which means you don’t have to serve that one month. And I will send you the template later.”. HOOORAY! This is the most happy news for me can? This means that I don’t have to go back to that stupid place and make myself so angry every single time I see his LJ face. I should have gone to him and say “fuck you, i am out of this stupid department of yours!”, but he was in a meeting. Damnit. I have wasted a chance. Nevermind, I still can say that here, in my own BLOG. And I’m not mentioning any names here because in case that block of wood happened to pay my cute blog a visit and this would give him a chance to report me.

I know this entry sounds a little crude. But I don’t always scold my employers. This is to show how fucking stupid he really is. And btw, did I mention that he’s NOT well liked there? People just have to work with him. And people can’t wait to leave. Farewell my colleagues.

Something to share. It’s kinda funny. LOL.