“I regret throwing my temper la.. you can have the right to decide whether you want to be with me or not..sorry..let’s go sleep. night“

this time round, we survived. will we survive if there is ever a next time? no. i don’t think so… i have been feeling down for these past weeks. when i read my blog it’s like we are quarrelling almost every week. =[ and i m reali very upset. and then he told me, he’s meeting his friend this friday. no no no. which means i m not the priority. den what’s the point of being together? might as well be friends again.

he say go watch musical fountain this saturday.

when everyone in the world is busy doing their things, here i am.. deciding on my relationship.

yes, i’m breaking up with bf.

simply because i don’t like his attitude towards me and of cos the things he said. now he can officially meet up with his friends every weekend w/o telling me. =] and i’m free to do whatever i deem is right. this is the correct way to behave baby.

haha!

can u hear my heart crying babe? can you? my heart has sank just like how titanic sank many many years ago, just tat my heart was broken into small pieces long time ago before it sank. watching how relationship kills me, i rather be alone. single. seeing how bf threatening me, i wished we never started. when was the best time of the relationship? before it starts actually. people said it’s not wise to have a nsman as a bf, now i strongly agree. they are just thinking too much on the details like who their gf went out with, are they telling the truth. but that’s so much for honesty. that’s what i got back for being honest to bf. “Cheating” on him by tellin him i went out with a gd guy fren for some food. don’t trust and don’t wanna see me. when i asked him he reali dun wanna see me, he just ans “hmm” (agreeing with what i asked him).. then i have this damn urge to cry. why is bf so mean to me? i strongly believe that when a couple has an issue it’s not wise to ask the gd guy fren to clear up the issue because it might become even more worse, i have such experience before. this make me an idiot to think i believe that he say he’s fine with me going out with my guy fren. it’s a bloody lie.

a picture of Jurong Island from Jurong Hill. isn’t it beautiful at night? and feel the wind at night.. it makes you wanna sleep there. it’s a nice place for getaway at night when you have nowhere to go. i want a getaway out of this country soon. i need one. i really need it.

i m feeling depressed.

then i was thinking how come my boyfriend is like that?

when i told him i don’t wanna meet him in the morning, he didn’t bother to ask me again if i wanna meet him.

then he go ahead and meet his friends because he assumed that i’m going out with my friend.

and i’m upset.

when i asked him why he didn’t ask me again if i wanna meet him.. he’s speechless…

then he say, “sorry lah……………”

what’s with the lah? do i sound like i’m hard to please?

but i am a girl too leh.

i don’t like bf. he always say don’t wanna meet me. i shall not meet him then.

this relationship is somehow going to nowhere i guess. tiring and pointless.

it’s so happening today! went Mambo night with Josephine and Jasmine & her friends! isn’t it happening? but i’m so tired rite now. *yawn* gotta slp! nite.

i hate it whenever he used attitude tones to talk to me. whatever. can’t be bother too much. i was trying to talk to him but he just give me those i-aint-interested-in-talking-to-u tone. sigh. what’s with these army guys? can’t understand. always expect me to reply him immed when he smsed me when he knows i’m with my friend, otherwise he will feel unimportant. aiyo. i GIVE UP.

today is a bz day as well. but i SURVIVED. den i dropped by tcc bcos sue asked me to. bcos she needs to check my facial complexion as she’s ‘lending’ me to her fren as her fren’s model – for her exam. if you dunno what i am talking abt, sue and her friend are taking those make up artist courses, so their exam’s coming, thus, i’m the ‘model’ if i pass the ‘interview’. LOL. after listening to what sue has said, i feel it’s very unfair for her to remain as a full time, and doing a manager’s job.. and the worse part is, co-workers do not cooporate with her. imagine if you are in her shoes, what would you do? and i realised, i haven’t reali talked to her for quite some time because i was so busy to ask her out. oh man. how i miss her. anyways, i meet up with Lawerence for SUPPER. yup. we went to Bukit Timah prata place (the one near NP) to eat. damn, i had 2.5 pieces of flour (1 cheese prata, 1 cheese mushroom prata & one prata pisang). i’m full now. LOL. been feeling hungry in the middle of the night and have nothing to eat. it was my suggestion to Lawerence tat we shd go out for SUPPER because i have the sudden hunger while chatting with him last night. and he was having the SAME IDEA too! great minds think alike. =] lol. he was driving a different car today, so out of curious, i asked him if he has many car… guess what he say? he say ‘no lah. 4 only’. =.= i almost flip and die in his car. hahahaha. it’s nice to have supper with someone who doesn’t slp early and stays near your hse. so i told him we shall play mahjong someday. LOL.

i had a dream today. i think i have been wanting to go overseas so much till i dreamt abt it. i must be crazy. but i have forgotten most of its content. oh man. but in my dreams, i dreamt i went overseas with my bf and his friends and i think my friends too. oh man. just couldn’t remember my dream. but i know it’s a good dream. but when will my dream come TRUE?!