Monday is always a damn bz day for me. and because today is the ‘last’ day to register for the course, thus, i have never ending phone calls coming in. and then there is a lot of ppl coming in asking for this and tat. omg. but tml MS TAN will be coming back. nope, not me. it’s PAM. yes. it’s her. 4 months, i haven’t see her for that long. oh man.

Sunday, 24.06.2007

Shopping spree. it’s GSS (Great Singapore Sale), darling and me wanted to shop for some stuffs before the 7% GST starts. Everything starts in a good way, it’s only after my dinner that i became so sick. stomach ache. we went to taka, then to far east. this is my damaged done for just today:

Esttusais mask & eye concealer: $78 [comes with a free bag]
Pull and Bear Jeans: $49
Dress: $43

Damaged done: $170

OMG. that’s a lot. and i still didn’t manage to get anythng for baby because, i scare he wouldn’t like the things i buy for him.. wouldn’t it be nice for him to choose himself and i pay for him.. not PSP or GUITAR though. =] and now i have a ‘bun’ on my head becos i hit my head REAL hard onto the cupboard door while carrying tooty up onto the bed. it’s reali pain de loh. lol.

this stingy ray suck. PLEASE DONT ORDER.

the toy. the dragon has serious problem with his fur.

ok. i think we make up already. thus, ending the 3 days quarrel. €but i still can’t help to find him treating me rather cold, giving me attitude whenever he’s angry [and i’m not supposed to give him attitude when i’m angry, i’m not supposed to ignore him neither. but he’s doing all these to ME]. was he trying to give me the “i am fucking angry” attitude so i’ll be scared of him and then will try my best to behave like a good girl, be whoever he wants me to be; so that he wouldn’t leave me.

but then… sometimes, it set me pondering how come some guys are so revengeful whereas some guys are such a gentlemen. BUT where have ALL the GENTLEMEN gone to? i don’t know. seriously, i think my life is lacking of gentlemen. lacking – it doesn’t mean that my life has NO gentlemen, just… lacking. when baby say he wants to do it back at me, so that i could feel the same way he felt… my very first impression was, what kind of bf is he? revengeful one? oh man, why do i keep ending up with a jerk? i almost have this tendency to tell him that i want a break up. simply because i can’t accept my bf behaving in certain ways:

1. revengeful e.g. do things back at me so that i can have taste of it, even i have apologised and promised to NEVER do it again
2. use the ‘f’ word on me e.g. fuck you bitch, fuck off, fucking ….. whatever that u can think of
3. scold me the nastiest thing in the world. e.g. bitach, say i flirt, say i’m cheating on him, say i’m out to cheat his money….
4. only want me for sex

Verbal abuse. It’s not like i have NEVER been through, but you have serious no idea how hurtful it can be. ‘Sorry’ can’t take away the hurt that he has given me. it was printed onto my heart. no matter how hard i tried, it just wouldn’t go off. i spent 3 nights crying damn hard. i know my younger sis know that i’m sad, so she used MY elmo to cheer me up. i know my colleagues knows i’m sad, so they always asked if i’m ok.. but i always tried to pretend to be happy. but the only time i’m happy is when i finally make up with bf.

when i told aunty Dorcas that i have finally ended my quarrel with my bf, she said that she could sense that. she has been seeing me uphappy these past days when she came in… i didn’t tell her what happened on sunday until today.. when i was feeling better. i was really sad, on the verge of crying already everytime i failed to receive his reply. when i asked him why he didn’t reply me, he would say ‘need to always reply meh?’, ‘nothing to reply, so never reply loh’… or he would try to say i was demanding him to do something which he always did but suddenly never do… i was so upset till i don’t have any appetite for food the whole afternoon, so marcus was like asking, “jaymee, you had a lot of food in the morning is it? how come u never say you are hungry today?”… a sad person is a lifeless person. can u imagine how sad i’m for the past 3 days? noone understands how i truly felt. even though baby has apologised for saying those nasty things, but it doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t happen again. once bitten twice shy.

baby.. can u see my heart crying and bleeding at the same time? do u even know that the things u said are just like you using a knife and pierced into my heart.

No, u didn’t see that. because if you did, u will never do or say such things to me; simply because you love me. i believed you love me, and i know i love you. U felt that you are not important to me, then why did i placed you in the most place – my heart? why do i feel uneasy not receiving your sms every morning when i wake up? when u r angry, u shut me out totally. do you know how i feel as a girlfriend? suddenly i feel so unwanted by you. i’m so sad now. can he feel that? he said he doesn’t wanna lose me, but how long can we reali last? sometimes, i really feel the stress in this r/s. help me please. help me understand more.

It’s time to review on this ‘current relationship’ that i am having.

– No call
– No sms reply
– No news from him

i decided to take initiative to sms him first after considering for a very long after what he had said last night: You in the fucking wrong. don’t dude me..go on flirting.i won’t stop you.i’m going out for fun this week.don’t come near me because you are fucking disgusting..bye don’t reply me please i beg you..you getting really irritating.

What will you do if you were me? I know that was supposed to be angry words. But it was the very first time he used the word [fuck] on me. and i strongly believe, if there is a first time, there will be a second time.

cry babe. cry babe. CRY. girls are born emotionally. i shall remember what he said today.

I bought this cute drink (even though the drink is out for X years, but it’s in can~!)

me & Shaun

me & my sister

yup, the 3 of us.

i simply hate it when a guy has no respect for his lady. No respect for me will only end up in break up. and i’m very serious about it. be it, angry words or not. and i simply hate it when my BF says i’m FLIRTING with another guy because i failed to inform him which guy i went out with. then, he said he don’t trust me anymore because i broke the trust. he said i didn’t tell him when i see him. well, at least i told him i’m going over to my sis’s pub and common sense would tell him i WOULDN’T go such places ALONE. and then he say he doesn’t wanna see me for this coming week. so be it. i have had enough of this tantrum. i believe i don’t have to seek for his permission to go out with any guy/girl frens. this is what i call human rights. i’m not even married to him, and even so, i have my own right to go out with my frens. be it girl or boy, man or woman, uncle or auntie. a guy who doesn’t give respect to girl can’t be any good. sometimes, i feel that this bf of mine isn’t respecting me at all. everyone just tell me that i should know him more before i enter the relationship with him.. i think i was blind then. sometimes humans do regret. when he’s the THIRD bf saying the SAME thing. i have this urge to end this earlier because i believe i don’t have to torlerate this kind of childish behaviour and i don’t deserve it. after all, it’s not like noone wants me. he promised not to repeat other bf’s words, but promises are meant to be broken. he even accuse me that i’m using “missing my sis” as an excuse to go out with Shaun. and this is holy crap. he was the one who didn’t wanna acc me on saturday night because he had spent quite a lot of money on friday, now he said things lidat? we had our quarrels fortnightly. how nice. argh. HELP! i’m upset by this.

This is the yummy Teriyaki Chicken Sandwich from The Bake Shop Express. With lots of Mayonnise =D

(are you tempted?)

The DKNY (Dinner Korner Now Yours) on thursday. That’s very nice of our boss no.2 to give us treat. (on his own accord, it’s not everytime “forced” by jaymee.) and so we had 2 free dinner for whole of this week. isn’t that cool? LOL

Then it’s TIMBRE night. =] initially it was only 6 of us, then the number grew to 12. LOL. the number was doubled. Yes, i took a lot pictures of the mushroom. hahaha. (people who went: michelle, Jordan, Marcus, Josephine, Don, baby, Jasmine, Glenn, Jasmine’s bf, Jasmine’s 2 frens and me of cos.)

Then we went over to a pub called “Butterfly” bcos slash’s going to enlist on saturday. there is a woman dancing on the bar top. =.= guess what? she was wearing damn short skirt and she’s the tequila girl. the guy was like forcing us to buy the last 4 tequila shots. i don’t like that guy can. duh. and then we only went home like 4a.m.. and then i have to go to work at 8plus. damn. i was having headache can.

This is the list for the Tom Yam Ban Mian/ Ramen today. =] SEVEN of them. Omg. even irwin had the same food. Only Daniel had Beef Ramen. =P It’s boss’s treat today.

This is the DKNY list for this thursday. Black Pepper Chicken Pasta. LOL. pictures are drawn by me and Bernice. =P

Was feeling sick ytd. so i have to call Marcus down to replace me so i can go home and rest. baby came to pick me up after his driving, and then i acc him to buy his HP before heading home.. because i didn’t want to spoil plan of purchasing a hp just because i’m sick. =[ after that we took a cab home because i’m too sick to take mrt home. and once i reached baby’s home i fall aslp like a baby because he was to busy with his new hp [Sony Ericsson K810I] and his repaired palm. =] after that he wake me up at about 7plus then we went to meet Don for dinner at JP after which we went to The Cathay to meet his other fren, alvin. then we went to Mr Bean’s Cafe to slack, but because i was not feeling well, so baby bought me some panadol and some water chest nut drink. =] how sweet he is towards me. but baby is having cough too and he forgot to bring his med out. =[ slash and john & gf came down to join us too. then we went to the 24 hrs kopithiam to have supper, while don & alvin went to a ‘LIVE’ band pub. after that we went home because i’m already dying. =X i love u baby. =D

i was surprised when cacca dropped by Believer Music today. LOL. she went for an interview at International Plaza. =] and i managed to psycho her to wait for me to finish work so that we can go home together. am i evil? LOL. then we took train home, and was laughing so happily when a guy suddenly say “excuse me, can i know u?”.. me and cacca was like “huh?”, and then i just reply the guy ‘NO’. and he alight at the next stop. he’s disgusting loh, he was listening to our conversation and was laughing to it. duh.

Now i guess i was thinking too much when baby stopped replying me today. he told me not to don’t reply his sms but he’s doing that.. can’t help it.. and he said he was taking rest so he literally stop replying me since 12plus. oh gosh.. he’s forever so lazy, so am i. hahaha.. hope he will not be lazy to meet me. humph. nevertheless, i love him still. =D

She stole my elephant which she thought is mouse. =.=

me playing keyboard! =]

trying hard to be cute. ha

yes. us at my workplace.

us in train. LOL