Sometimes humans is so weird.

One moment we are strangers.
Next moment, we are talk crap friends.

One moment he said he feel bad to talk to you.
Next moment, he called and chat with you for a little while.

One moment he was upset.
Next moment, he said he’s getting over it.

One moment he say he wants to know more friends.
Next moment, he said knowing you is fast and easy because he has no form to know other girls.

Guys, they are forever changing their sentence. It’s hard to catch up. I asked some people what was their 1st impression of me. Jordan say, dao. hahaha. because when i don’t smile, i’m fierce. I’m friendlier when i smile. JJ say, nothing much. What I can say is, I will NEVER EVER be someone’s subsitute in life. Sometimes, I wondered, is being my friend a very shameful thing? Otherwise why would guys try to hide from their friend? Weird. Just like when I’m with someone and that someone say he’s alone. It makes me wanna go away and let him be alone – just like what he said. This is not the 1st time, and it’s not gonna be the last time.

I have made myself very clear to bear. and i don’t wish to keep repeating my words. I will never go into a r/s that i’m uncertain or with guys i don’t have feelings for. Friends are friends forever.

What’s wrong with my relationship with human beings? It’s getting worse. Holy crap.

Went to watch movie with Esmond at cine. Watched “Kung Fu Mahjong 3“.. reminds me, i haven’t been watching movie lately and i missed playing mahjong. so where is all my mahjong kahkis? Every mahjong show always say the same thing “love mahjong like ur own. so what tiles u wan, it will come to u…” something lidat. had dinner at Xin Wang Hong Kong Cha Can Ting again. haha. had curry chicken with rice. I like to go out with people i can talk crap with instead of going out with people with a few words. I like to go out with interesting people. I like to go out with people whom i’m comfy with. I like to meet interesting people too.

I wondered if people will be offended by my words.
I wondered if people hates me.
I wondered if people likes me.
I wondered if people can accept the way I am.
I wondered if friendship is really important.
I wondered if i’m good enough.
I wondered how to please people.
I wondered how to cheer people up.
I wondered why the universe must rotate in circle.
I wondered why people has to be angry with each other.
I wondered why people fall in love and then fall out of love.
I wondered why is there LOVE?
I wondered why does people reject/accept each other?
I wondered.






Who can tell me the answers?

It’s hard for me to reject people. But there are times whereby I just couldn’t do it anymore. Sometimes, people around me might not see the real me.

Sometimes, I’m forsaken.
Sometimes, I’m the attention of no one.
Sometimes, I’m the attention of someone.
Sometimes, I’m good to someone.
Sometimes, I’m bad to someone.
Sometimes, I get flare up.
Sometimes, I’m moody.
Sometimes, I don’t feel like talking.
Sometimes, I hate being myself.
Sometimes, I’m disappointed.
Sometimes, I feel like crying.
Sometimes, I’m strong.
Sometimes, I’m weak.
Sometimes, I feel empty.
Sometimes, I’m so happy.
Sometimes, I’m noone.
Sometimes.

I will make up for her. I will. I don’t have time. But I’m trying. Give me time.

Let’s see what i have been doing this whole weekends. hahaha.

Friday, 26.01.2007

Went out with Bear and his N.S frens (“bing xiang“, Jeremy, JJ & Jason) after work. Went to P.S. and i finally bought my blusher brush. hahaha. i have forgotten clearly that i have The Body Shop membership card. Then we went to Makasukra at Esplanade to have “supper”. having NO idea where to go, so they decided to go Pub at Clarke Quay. And we ended up at MoS (yes, again. ahaha.). had so much fun dancing. BUT the thing is, i don’t really like ppl to push me ard. Bear & JJ was like trying to get me out from those guys because they were hugging me. haha. Guys in clubs = Chee Hong. So i don’t really care about them that much. hahaha. and i only went home like 4a.m? damn. JJ, Jeremy and Jason lives around my area. tat’s so cool. muahahaha. and i had barely 3 hrs of sleep. OMG.

Saturday, 27.01.2007

Went to RX to get the S.H.E concert ticket from jacky. haha. makes me excited. so i had lunch “cum” dinner at RX as well. after that we went to Funan bcos i wanna take a look at HP laptops. Finally have made the decision of buying HP Pavilion Entertainment series DV2000. den we went to have ice cream and den go Indoor Stadium. waited for about 30mins or more before the concert starts. haha. took pics of the concert, but it’s not clear because i’m sitting a bit too far from the stage + i’m using hp to take the pics. so pardon me if the pics is blur, but don’t expect much. After that we went to phuture to meet JJ. It’s not the type of my music. sigh. but had fun dancing again. hahaha.

The concert:
– Special Guest, Fei Long Hai (WU ZUN!!!)
– Special Guest, Sun Yan Zi
– Individual Performance, Selina’s hot & sexy dance
– Individual Performance, Ella sing David Tao’s song + play piano
– Individual Performance, Hebe + Fei Long Hai sing that song – zhi dui ni you gan jue
– Individual Performance, Hebe’s fantastic drum set playing
– S.H.E came down while singing a song. yes, i saw Seline, but i don’t enough space to see the rest. stupid security.

Overall, the concert is so cool. it last for about 3 hours. =]

“you are beautiful“, that’s what the 2 frenchmen said to me when i wanted to go zouk from
phuture. =] we stand there and chat for a little while. Their english isn’t good. but still able to communicate. isn’t it so cool? They are leaving for Vietnam today. lol. both of them are so cute. the french guy suddenly ask if he could kiss me on my cheeks. and he did kissed me on my cheeks. and the another cute guy wants me to kiss him on his cheeks. which i didn’t. and den i went back to phuture. lol. interesting?

den i went back to phuture and JJ was very emo because he saw his ex with another guy, pissed me off because he kept walking in and out of the place (bear keep asking me out to look for him and each time i walk out he came back, tat’s y i’m pissed). and i went to “talk” to him. and den we went to zouk, he had a little beer, and we had screwdrivers. and i Boxed him and slapped him because he requested. In return, he slapped me back – real hard. hahaha. the 2nd time someone slapped me, the 1st time a “fren” slapped me. and den we went back to phuture again. There is this group of guys who wants to get my no. but i wasn’t in the mood to give my no. so i didn’t give. ahaha. they talked to me though. so this guy was say “please don’t be offended.”.. c’mon, i’m cool about it. hahaha. then i went off 1st bcos i am sick and tired of waiting for JJ to come out from that place + i don’t wanna let bear send me hm. they came out in about ten mins later. den we go hm.

GOSH, i can’t hide my excitement, thus i’m writing this down.

I’M GOING


TO S.H.E

CONCERT TML!

cool isn’t it? Jacky bought the $150 * 2 ($300) tickets, and he can’t go. So i bought it from him for $112.50 * 2 ($225). LOL. Thanks Bren for telling me that he’s trying to sell the ticket. HAHA. monkey is going to the concert too, with i assume is Ms Unknown. Don’t know he’s so secretive for what. den i will be able to see my WU ZUN & ELLA. =] gosh, wo zhen shi tai xing fen le! Can’t wait for tml to come. I’m going with Bear. LOL. i’m going down to RX to collect the ticekts tml. =X *sha xiao*

My evening off today. wasted some time waiting for hunnie (as usual). we went to town. wanted to have dinner at TCC but when i walk pass, i didn’t see amin, so we headed to HK cha can ting. LOL. den we walk pass again after dinner and saw amin, went in to crap with him for a little while den we went to shop for shoes. LOL. amin is still so pervertic. LOL. nothing changes. still loves to crap with this person who always comment on the mole on my nose. LOL. I bought a pair of red podka dot heels. LOL. kinda love it, shall post the pic of it tml. =] here are some of the pics i took during the closing. =D

1) Our Drinks

Handsome “shit”

am i cool?

hahaha. trying to be funny

what’s he looking at?

our reflection and see what is amin doing. LOL

trying to squeeze for pimples.

Us

i can’t believe it. JACKY GOT S.H.E TICKETS? damn. i’m going to harrass him tomorrow, so i can get cheaper price. shall slp early tonight. damn. makes me excited. HAHAHA.

he’s so cute isnt he? LOL! took this pic from his blog. can u sense that i’m going crazy over him? not really lah. i aint into idols. but he’s just so cute, i can’t help it. =X AHAha. i would rather go crazy over someone i don’t see, i don’t know than going crazy over someone whom i dun like so much. LOL. cute guys.

damn. now my head is all WU ZUN WU ZUN WU ZUN. hahaha. HELP me lah. handsome guy, gentle guy, nice figure guy. damn. he seduced me. makes me wanna watch S.H.E concert because of him and ELLA. =X

GOSH! i’m soOOooOOo crazy over this show by Ella. =X it’s damn nice ok. haha. it’s so freaking funny too. it makes me wanna watch it over and over again. and ella’s so cute and retarded in this show. Wu Zun looks handsome and the kind of guy who will “mi” si wo. HAhaha. =X gosh. i have this urge to buy the whole set of DVD (which i did. i bought Part 2 because my sis’s paying for Part 1). crazy. and it’s NOT the whole show yet. sigh. i’m looking forward for the Part 3. let it be soon PLS. gosh. cos i can’t wait. omg omg omg. my mind is all about this show. i shall stop before i start again. hahaha.

Yew Ching came over to my block today (we are supposed to watch movie, but there isnt any good movie. ppsss, he don’t watch scary movie.) and we walked to pioneer mall despite the fact that he drive because i don’t know where can park car. hahaha. We went to Mac to chill out and and slack there since 11plus to 1plus a.m. .. crap and talk about stuffs. feel much more happier. took some pics (as usual lah, since when i meet ppl and dont take pic?). LOL! =]

Me & Yew Ching. =]

He called me a jealous freak when i tried to add his fucking gd gf (look, i aint interested in his fucking gd gf, i’m only interested in getting my money back from him because he kept saying he has got no money to pay me back. so in this case, who are u gonna approach if u wan ur money back? his fucking gd gf of cos. and i told him i will approach his fucking gd gf if he still fucking dun return me the money. asshole like him always have lotsa excuses when it comes to paying debt. he say i used to beg him to lend me money so i can go out with donald. he’s full of crap. if he’s so fucking wealthy, he would have pay me LAST WEEK. and then he say he has gf to feed now and bills to pay, naturally he has no money to return me. IS THAT MY FUCKING PROBLEM IN THE 1ST FUCKING PLACE??) in frenster because she set degree to her frenster (y create a frenster? stupid. not like she’s so fucking pretty that wil make jealous. lol). omg. c’mon, what’s there to jealous about? LOL! i’m having my own fun. why shd i feel jealous? LOL. he thinks i will feel jealous bcos he got a new fucking gd gf? oh no no no. he’s nvr in my mind anymore. since the day i said i don’t give a damn to his watever stupid fucking love life is. i always do what i say. like i said, he’s not a saint to begin with. if u have no fucking ability, den don’t go into a relationship and act like a sissy. enough of this fucking asshole. i will get my money back from u. i rather give it to begger than give it to an asshole like U.

them.

say.. i just love to take pics of myself? hahaha. there is no wrong, there is no right. bought liquid eyeliner, testing out.. but it doesn’t look like (or was it not obvious enough?) that i’m using eyeliner. my eye suck. haha. but i have to and i always will accept myself. beauty is in the eyes of my God. =] or in another words, i’m pretty in His eyes? *console* now i have to think of my purpose. what’s my purpose doing in BMI? hmmm.. i’m wondering. sometimes i find it stupid that i have to do cuttings, and ask me to do some design (which they will end up choosing the old one? duh.). there isn’t much color in BMI. but sometimes, i am busy though. like i’ll see some cute guys around. hahaha. there is this student, who is damn cute. wear shirt, tall and he has this “i’m a good guy” look.. but guess what? he’s born in 1990. =X 17 yr old kid. haha. surprised? i am. his surname is Park. interesting. jordan was asking me if he’s a korean.. too bad, he’s a singaporean. his mum called ytd to tell me he’s a shy person and he’s a American Idol fan blah blah… hahaha. kinda funny though. my conclusion to jordan is: his dad is a korean, mum is a singaporean. thus park is his surname. =] alright, enough of big sister imagination. HAHA. kinda lame though. cute guys? they NEVER anywhere near me. all i get was, bastard fat ass who refused to return me $40. isn’t he fucking rich?! k lah. he’s not imp to me. Money is. hahaha. comparing him to a $40, of cos $40 is bigger than him. =] he used to weight a lot (whether it’s physically or mentally) to me. now? i don’t give a fucking damn to him as long as he fucking pay up, else, i will send a “Hi” msg to his fucking gd gf so that she can help me remind him to FORK out some bloody time to transfer me the fucking money. =] after some scolding, i feel better. so it’s time to slp. =]