I have received a thank note from a student whom i can’t remember. hahaha. Cos too many fone calls a day and too many names to remember. =X

Hi Jamie,

Like to say a big thank you to you for helping me to re-schedule my WDII class timing to 20:30 starting on 8 Jan 2007. Your prompt assisting is greatly appreciatively. Thanks once again :o)

May the Lord bless you in many ways..

Warmest Regards
Rachel ***

and of cos my jaymee isn’t that jamie. =] but it’s alright. because there is only one jaymee in Believer Music. LOL. it’s really cool to have people praising me once in a while. Don’t u think so?

Went to The Cathay to watch “Confession Of Pain” today with ah kang, after work of cos. =] How do u feel when ur close kins die in front of u and u can’t do anything to help them because u are still young and have no abilities or whatsoever. bad. revenge. that’s what in ur mind. what was the morale of the story? No matter who u chose to marry, even the daughter of ur enemy, she’s a part of ur family. =] let go of the past will do u good. in this case, jin chen wu’s life is better when he made effort to find out the truth behind his gf’s death. oh well, life. how many ppl can actually do the things they said? =P

Today i have learnt the so-called proper way of tuning a guitar and realised the way i tuned the guitar is damn slow. =.= no wonder the e-string always snapped. LOL. nevermind about that. we did some housekeeping today. and pamela asked if i’m the high class cleaner. LOL. i think she likes to disturb me. =X den suddenly today she says “don’t worry, i don’t hate u. i like u” blah.. hmmm.. did i mention she don’t like me? i just think she’s fierce sometimes. =X the 1st time she mentioned this was on the christmas card that she gave me. well.. hahaha.. =X work was pretty ok.. had a lot of guitars coming in this way. have to start preparing for the term start next week. gosh, i wondered what’s gonna be like next week. i might be bombard with LOTS of enquiries. May the God’s power be with me. =X Had B.K for dinner and koko krunch for lunch. as usual. it’s always raining. gosh. Pear’s bday next week. Gotta think what i’m getting for her. omg. presents. hafta think again. So i better slp early, so i can think better of what to buy for her.

My conclusion for life is:
-Play hard
-Eat good food
-Club more
-Make more new friends
-Kbox more
-Shop more
-Drink more
-Flirt more (just kidding)

Whatever it is, Work hard 1st (that’s ur source of income so u can do whatever that’s above people.) and SLEEP LESSER! when u r dead, u can slp all u want. =]

and of cos a pic of me, myself and i. =]

Ok people, I’m moving on or rather moved on from the past relationship (i know i must have said it for the xxx times) since day 1 of the new year. Dwelling in something that has already past long time ago isn’t doing any good to me. I’ve been dwelling, wondering where will it leads to. I have no intention of getting back to him in the 1st place then why am i reacting that way? that was kinda lame. glad that he has finally found a gf who will listen to whatever he says. he should have been out of my life long time ago. remaining as fren? that’s if he wants to. but impossible, because i remembered him saying “u r not even my fren or my gf”. thus, since i’m not his gf, so i’m not his fren too. hahaha. we had always belong to the different world. =D

life is good actually. u wouldn’t know who is important to you until something happens. and each time things lidat happened, i had many great people around me. i had my hunnie, my gf, my darling, my party animal sister, whoever came along the way. but sometimes i have really doubted in the things a guy said. there are people who came by my life and say “hi” and walk away and of cos i have people who stayed. and i have always treasured frenship. that’s why i don’t understand why some people don’t seems to understand that simple thing. nevermind about these people. there will be some people who pretend to be close to u, pretend that u were once close with that person. that’s crap. if u r close, u will remain close no matter what. some people don’t even understand simple things lidat, den we shouldnt have expect these people to actually understand complicated stuffs. people hardly had any time for everything. people has to work for at least 8 hrs. people has to chill for as long as they want. people has to sleep at least for 6 hours. in ur hp contacts, there is so many people whom u wanna meet up with. and if u only have wkends free to meet up with friends and u die die have to meet up with ur bf, u r caught in between.. so u have no other choice but to choose ur bf. reason is damn simple, because he’s in N.S thus he only have wkends to spend with ya. no excuses. u can meet ur frens during the wk. LoL. i had always remembered the things, the worse to the very worse thing that he had said to me.

thus my conclusion is, he’s not worth remembering. the things that he said, the things he claimed i have done, the pretty obvious bias – hurts. and of cos he wouldn’t think that it hurts me because whatever he did in the past was so that i will choose no one else but HIM. but the hurts wouldn’t remain where is it now for long. like i said, if they love u, they wouldn’t love anyone else even u can’t accompany him for that particular wk or wks. he will understand tat u have other commitments. and he wouldn’t be so self centred. expecting u to give up everything so that u & him can have er ren shi jie. =] a very understanding bf is hard to find. so i wondered if i wil be able to find one or rather he will appear. =] waiting patiently. maybe i have let a few good people pass me by. =[

You are The Star

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised

The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you’re a dreamer, but you’re not the only one.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

It’s kinda bored when people is outside there playing and I’m here in Believer Music working. hahaha. But to think about it, I’m saving money now and spend it during the wkends. which is a even better choice. haha. Public Holidays = A LOT people. =] i just came in to crap for alittle, trying to waste some time. =]

Gosh! i’m falling aslp soon.

For those N.S men they wun be happy for long cos they are going to book in soon. but since they had a long weekends, they can’t complain much because they will be coming out this weekend which is like a few days later. =]

Ah, lemme think what shd i do for this weekend. LOL. not long and it’s not short. On saturday i shall go shopping with my tortise honey, caca, and den a Kbox session after that. =] sounds cool. as for Sunday, i might be going church if i can wake up. =] and den have lunch with church people whom i haven’t seen for a long time. =D

I’m proud of myself at times. doing things that i tot it’s impossible for me to accomplish. but then again, we need determinations. I hope i have. I must have it, otherwise i will be falling back to the past and can never stand up again. I wondered how will this year goes. It better be smooth for me. Rocky life kinda *erhem*. Anyhows, i’m getting hungry. =X my head is hurting. guess i haven’t been slpg well lately. shall have my beauty sleep once i get home. =]

NINE o’clock. That’s what i’m waiting for.

Went out with caca (honey) today. Went to Vivo City with the intention to buy some clothes which we did. =] we bought 1 new top each of the same design but different prints. =] den we went to Harry’s @ Boat Quay to wait for Vick because he’s having performance over there. So we were chilling there and had NON alcoholic drinks. LOL. =] we are good girls. and gossip about people (i mean what else can girls do?). den we went to Pasir Panjang ( dunno how to spell) to have roti prata for supper after waiting for a very long time for his pay because it’s one day performance. had fun in his car chit chatting. hahaha. and it’s time to slp now!!

tooty with my green elephant which cost BHT290 from my sis. LOL

aren’t we cool?

funny faces

reflection. why is there no vick??

Us in the car.

the view in the car. =]

us at the prata shop.

us again. cam whores.

It’s a NEW YEAR people. So many things that i wanna do this yr. Made a simple resolution last nite:

– Be a bitch with my sister and go clubbing more with her.
– Forget about that f**king APPLE guy
– Get myself a new bf who loves me and i love him too ( kept having crazy idea and who cares about love these days?)
– Never get near to bastards like that f**king APPLE guy
– Go church weekly (at least 2 times a month? =P )
– NEVER sarifices for a bastard like that APPLE guy.
– Be smart this time round.
– Know more people, expand my circle of friends
– SAVE money for thailand trip with elise & yixuan & my sis. =]

I LOVE CLUBBING. =]

I felt so hurt last nite, so i went clubbin with my sis. dropped by tcc and saw tim & bren. so i got tim to wear the costume for me so i can take pic. and by the way, he still owes me chicken wings. =D got myself drunk last nite. muahahaha. was sharing a btl of champagne with my sister. too gasy, so i puke out. =P i went Dragonfly on sat with caca. had fun and during this 2 days of clubbing, i get to know 2 guys. hahahaha. and vick send me home last nite because he drives and it’s hard to get a cab. =]

me & shawn on a satuarday nite

me & vick on a sunday nite, whom my sister say he likes me. LOL.

=] chinese and indian. hahaha. i am not that racist after all. muahahahahha. and of cos i had fun with the rest of the people as well.

Rebecca‘s Birthday at Dragonfly (St James Power StatioN)
On a Saturday nite.

Celebrate Cacca‘s belated birthday on saturday. =] had so much fun dancing around pretending we are Lesb. LOL. the guys got turned off. =] while we are dancing ppl looked at us and maybe they are wondering if we are lesb. LOL. whatever. she’s MY “bf”. muahahaha. Ordered Chivas. still had some left. so we keept it. =] life is good. hahaha. I shall keep my life this way. and forget about the freaking guy who broke my heart. After all he’s NOT worth. shall have some new people in my life, whether we met in club or not, doesn’t matter. I’m prettier than that woman. MUAHAHAHAHA. =D went to darling’s hse to have bbq. =X had some nice food and received my christmas present from her. Guess what?

STITCH!! OMG

My cute little stitch. =D

me & Lipeng

Oopsy. =P

The final one. =]

my lesb partner in crime

me & shawn

zen & cacca

Sunday Morning, Sentosa Trip.

Went sentosa with elise & yixuan. Our LONG planned trip. =] we had been wanting to go there for ages and we finally went. We went to Underwater World & Dolphin Lagoon (the tickets is freaking cheap, $13.50. It’s because this is the holiday price. =] otherwise it’s $19.50 for the Underwater World ticket inclusive of Dolphin Lagoon). we spent the whole day walking around and at nite we went to Musical Fountain to watch the show. =] den we went to Vivo city to have our dinner. the Q was so freaking LONG. =X cos it’s holiday eve. and as usual, we saw a LOT of indians. Rude. We had fun still, spending about $50. =X

The 3 of us.

me waiting for the dolphin show to start =]

Fishes

The largest crab. makes me feel crappy =X

booBoo!

the fish is freaking BIG


Sea Angles

Lots of Jelly fish

Sunday Nite, Attica & Cuba

It’s a fun nite of clubbing. =] was supposed to meet that stupid bear but he couldn’t make it the last minute. waste of my time. i went home and called my sister and den went down to join her & her boss. =] i dropped by TCC becos i saw tim & bren. so my sister waited for me so quite a long time. =X sorry k. so we had “arguement” because i made her wait for me and she asked me to go home. i almost did. she called and ask me go back. Couldn’t make calls out. sigh =X Lucky i have such a good sister. =] it’s a fun nite of dancing and wildness. hahaha. we ordered a bottle of champagne & her boss paid. =] there was this ang moh guy, took my hand and kiss my hand while i was dancing with my sis and he keep coming near to me. and so my sis came to my resue. he’s a pervert btw. =X and den we finished our Champagne and went to Cuba to look for her friends. and i dance “samba” with Vick. fun. learn a new dance. and Vick sent home. =]

The man behind the mask – Tim

My sister & her boss at Attica. Me & my champagne. =]

my sister behind the mask

me behind the mask

Dr. Evil =]

me & sister at Cuba

OoPS!!

Yes, this is the place. =]

Oh Lord God,

please help me. I think I’m out of control since the day he told me about the terrible thing that i DON’T WANT TO KNOW. My heart is aching and crying, my brain is not working, my eyes is watery.. I feel like shouting out loud.. I feel like beating someone to vent my frustration. I feel like every good things we had has came to an end. Betrayal of trust. Betrayal of love. But I love him still. I don’t know why. Dumb? And soon, God, he wouldn’t be my side anymore. Nothing I do for him makes him happy. By never say “No” to him, that girl is better than I am. Thus, I’m always the lousy one. Lord, Please teach me HOW am I supposed to do to give up, let go, forget about this painful love? I tried so hard, but it’s fruitless. Though we are happy, it’s temporary. Lord gave me a good job, good working colleagues, and what more can I ask from you? Everyone says, the one who is suitable, or rather meant for you will come by someday.. And I start to wonder, WHEN? God, I have always been patience. Just like I need more than 15 mins just to connect VPN sometimes it took me 1 hour to do so, but i kept my cool. God, Please make a better person. Hoping working in this new environment, I can learn more and be closer to You. Lucky I was kept busy today by doing stock taking (finished) & check on hundreds of student’s record which i haven’t finish & clearing the store room & most importantly, taking phone calls all day long. This kept me away from thinking that terrible thing.. A few days, i’m still aching & crying. No sympathy. It just make me feel useless. And Cindy (his best friend) added me in frenster. Surprises me. No harm making more frens. It’s time to go into real actions tomorrow. Get myself real drunk. Temporary drunk-ness will make me forget for awhile.

Thank Lord for listening to my troubles. I wished that You can help me. Kill me.

I’m a dummy. thus i’m reading Customer Service for Dummies. =] the thing that i did today was to read this book. but i don’t feel happy at all. i should have let it go. but i don’t know why i can’t. received donald‘s sms wishing me merry christmas today. kinda weird. bcos, we have stopped contacting since the day we broke up. and then he asked if we could have another chance. what’s with him? he said he misses me. he remembers my bday. but then? i don’t need another liar in my life. i have stopped liking him since the day he lied to me. but why each time i’m having problem with him, donald would be the one ‘coming’ to me? WHY? is this a kind of connection or is this a joke? holy cow. i hate this coming. i just have to LET GO. never to see him again. never. i’m sad.

in this world, there isnt anything call true love. =] that’s a very precious lesson i have learnt right after christmas. why be in a serious relationship when u can just fool around before finding ur “true love”. crap. guys are always guys. they are always after lust (except certain guys i believed). LUST. 4 letter words, yet so powerful. yet this is the 4 letter words that guys always denied. i strongly believe that a guy after a ger is either he’s really in love with her OR he’s just being horny. look at those guys with big boobs gf. look at those big boobs gf who wear low cut, who went clubbing, who do crazy and weird stuffs. i look at them, den look at myself. am i worse than those girls in club? i am just inferior compared to them. i just dun understand why this is happening to me. WHY? am i not good? bad. very bad. i’m VERY bad. i know. because that’s what he said to me. stupid? am i stupid? i am, was, were stupid before. this shall not happen again. i shall not let him use another welcome, li shan, cindy or even apple to hurt my feeling again. 4 times. he still do not understand why i have donald. he don’t. and i don’t feel the same anymore as of from today. i’m hurt. very hurt. so hurt. till i almost can die. my tears dropped. kept dropping. but it wouldnt change the fact that he disappointed me. he said he chose me over welcome. but he dun trust me. from now, i don’t exist in his life anymore. that’s what he wants. i don’t understand him and i wouldnt. i believed that he still loves me and still wants to get back together. i was happy. but my world falls apart. because of him. the story ends here. our story. it’s going to be a new beginning for me. if not for him, i would have begin a new chapter. i was stupid. or people say i was thinking too much. he said he was giving us another chance by spending xmas with me. because he could see that i’m trying so hard that he didn’t want to disappoint me. i rather he disappoint me by not celebrate xmas with me than finding out he‘s supposed to meet her for xmas. even though hes physically with me, his heart isn’t. he told me that. i strongly believed too. the man whom i believe will never lied to me, lied to me by writing those lies in the card that he gave me. another liar. i don’t need a lie to keep me get going. after talking to ah kang for half an hour. he made me realised, i’m dumb even though i didn’t told him what happened. in the end who was by my side? my so-called-lousy frens. they are the one who are so precious to me. yet he claimed he knows little moomooz. piggy is dead. so long ago i realised. he pretended to be so nice to me. pretended that he still loves me. pretended that he cares for me. pretended to put our neoprint in his wallet. all these are fake. so fake and yet i can’t feel it. i’m stupid. very.. it cause my heart to ache so much. my heart is broken.

nevertheless, i went ahead to watch movie with bren, joseph, ah di & ah kang because she asked me ytd. we went to The Cathay to watch “Curse of the golden flower”. this movie doesn’t really have an ending. or am i stupid not to understand the ending? whatever it is. jay doesn’t suit movies like this. he’s too cool for this character. the show is not bad though. 2.5 stars. haha. i’m glad to have frens around me when i’m feeling sad. cos they never fail to cheer me up. and i feel so bad to have spoil their day just lidat. my bad. we went to P.S mac to have supper because we are feeling hungry.. den we took a cab home. i still dun feel happy. but i’m happy and surprised when a student said i’m good. =] so happy because i got praised.. and i have to pretend to be happy regardless of whatever. because i have learnt it from tim, work is work. personal is personal. never to bring personal stuffs to work. once u r in the workplace, u r working for the company and not for urself. right. he’s right. it’s just me who couldn’t put down the past behind me. i shall do that. i need to be strong. but just let me cry for awhile.

It’s christmas Day today and i’m lacking of sleep. Gosh. no wonder i’m having lots of pimples. Went to city hall to pass uncle lim his cam, which i have borrowed for MONTHS, and den went to town with monkey.. with the intention to pass my sis her stupid jacket which i have carried around since YESTERDAY. why am i always so stupid? i actually believe that she’ll pick up her stupid jacket. i was WRONG. =.= thus, she owed me a present from bangkok & a meal. who cares? she wasted my effort. otherwise i would have throw her stupid jacket into the rubbish bin. !@#$%”!@#$%;*()

anyways, i bought a jacket too.. =] quite nice. shall take a pic after i washed it. den me & monkey went to Cine bcos it was drizzling.. and we bought tickets for “Death Note 2”. i went to Body shop and bought bday presents because i’m so running out of time and then i saw Gina. The movie is not bad though, but i didn’t expect it to be so long. haha. before movie we went to the Hong Kong Cafe to have our breakfast “cum” lunch “cum” dinner “cum” supper. long winded. hahaha. after movie i went to meet Peili to collect my christmas present! cool. chill for awhile den headed back home.

The table setting. LOL. i did it out of boredom.

what else can i do while waiting for food?

Ice milo dino

How about some french toast?

hmm, what about Pork Chop with french fries?

Siew mai?

Chicken wings?

pork chop baked pasta??

sumptuous meal huh? LOL.

me & monkey

my christmas present from Peili