alright, let me begin my LONG blogging “career” now. haha.. oh well, den i will have to start from saturday. =)

Saturday, 08.07.2006
Worked 9a.m and stepped into the outlet to see erin, wati & tim doing housekeeping. lol. and after their housekeeping, i was crapping with them until sue came in.. lol.. den i cont to crap den suzy came in.. it’s last day of work in RX.. she’s transferring to FM.. sadded.. noone will teach me malay anymore.. =[ den after that i finsh work at 5p.m.. cos erin or tim nvr say they wan me to OT and i din look at the schedule, so i tot i dun have to OT. lol. den i went into the kitchen and slack. so me & suzy went to have lunch together.. den during lunch time gf came in bcos she’s here to marinate the chicken wings… which sue & starkey went to buy. after lunch, i came in and start crapping with wati.. and den the “thanks eh” thingy started with a very retarted face. lol. after work, i was crapping and resting in the kitchen.. and jiayong say i was disturbing his mood. =.= den he threatened to throw me into the rubbish bin.. den he reali carry me up by holding my arms and “throw” me into the rubbish bin.. lucky i used my leg to block otherwise i might end up in the bin. =.= got bullied.. i was shocked so i went out of the outlet in tears sia.. lame.. den i went to meet da xiong bcos he’s supposed to acc me to the lib b4 we meet sue & gf for movie at 8.25p.m.. den when we finally settle down, i heard funny sound coming out from da xiong‘s stomach.. HAHAHA.. he’s hungry and nvr tell me..it was so funny… so we headed to town to hunt for food b4 we meet the rest.. we went to catch a movie call “Waiting“.. =) it was abt an operation in a restuarant.. but, i don’t quite understand.. forget it.. hahaha. den we had a hard time hiring a cab bcos it’s changing shift time.. and we finally got a cab to bugis to meet wati.. den we took a cab to the airport to send tong lei off to perth.. aaawww, gonna miss her.. and can see her happy face.. =) den we went to grab a bite at the Mcdonald’s… and the service is slow.. bleah.. we had a fun time chatting, crapping & bitching.. =] let’s do it again~ hahaha. den me & gf took a cab to meet damien to watch soccer at 3a.m.. it’s germany:portugal (3:1).. yay~ haha. germany “supporter” for the day.. i feel like i’m gonna drop dead. so i went home.. and just when i reached boon lay, i received da xiong‘s sms asking me if i have reached boon lay.. just nice. hahaha. den i reached hm showered and doze off after talking to him..

Sunday, 09.07.2006
woke up at 3plus, and realised… so many people smsing me.. ahaha.. so it ended up i didn’t reali slp much too.. so i smsed jiayong when gf told me missy is meeting pat instead of me.. =.= so i meet them at city hall.. and den we go together.. so we reached there about 6plus 7pm.. and was still drizzling.. so the bbq fire hasn’t start yet.. time passes quite fast when u r enjoying urself.. nothing much to say but i’m having fun.. haha. drank some red wine and barron. lol. and da xiong was a bit tispy.. drunkard. having fun taking pics with missy’s hp bcos mine is going flat. lousy.. haha.. i’m gonna post some pics~

1st pic: me & missy
2nd pic: me & gf, hugs
3rd pic: missy and I (wearing nana’s spec).. famous Ms Tan. =P


1st pic: me & nana.. will be missing her presences in RX =(
2nd pic: me & da xiong. Taken when he’s drunk. lol.
3rd pic: shows a drunkard. lol.


1st pic: wati & me
2nd pic: starkey the bear & me
3rd pic: to end the pic, our ugly face. lol

Monday, 10.07.2006
what else? taking pic in the toilet again?!?!?!

woke up late for work and lucky was not VERY late for work though. =X thanks to tim, he helped me.. there is only 5 ppl for lunch time bcos isaac is warded in the hospital.. and i’m the baristar. haha. =) finally. i thought today’s bar wouldn’t be so busy and it end up busy.. and i just kept making sumatra coffee until the grinded beans are used up. =.= hot seller today. lol. lucky, i still manage myself.. but there are certain areas that i need to improve though. i was too fast until my T.hazelnut latte has got no layer. lol. oh well.. and today, i learnt how to key in the ordering thingy. =) so i helped erin to key in.. she teach me like as if i’m a computer idiot. =_= anyways, after that i waited for missy to come so i can bluetooth all the pics to my hp. =) after that i went to meet bedmate for dinner at M.S. =) chat with her and den we went to have ice cream, and we headed home.. tada, here i’m sitting here blogging. and she kept asking me to go church this sunday.. feeling kinda lazy and tired.. shall see.. hahaha.. alright.. this entry is far too long for a human to stay here reading. haha. nite~

lalalalalla.. france france france!!!! pls win~~~ omg.. i mean even though i dun bet, but i just want france to win~ it’s world cup finals tonite. and i shall watch it.. and slp for abt an hr or 2 to go work tml.. =.= working 8.30am tml.. “opening” with tim.. weird timing. but anyway, he’s doing opening alone tml.. so, dun complain too much. haha.. i shall update my blog tml when i got more pics to upload all at once. =)

time to go slp. working morning tml.. will be going to library to read my baby blues comic books bcos i didn’t get to go today.. bcos da xiong has to work OT at RX.. mason is still sick.. and jiayong almost have to work 7a.m – 10p.m when he’s not feeling well as well (from what i heard).. well, nothing to update except to say, in this period of time, no one will be transferring away.. =) great.. can stay there and play longer.. nite ppl. *yAwNz*

da xiong & me me & nana
it’s nana & da xiong‘s last day today… but nana was sick today she didn’t come to work. today i took over the bar and of cos did closing for the bar.. and it was so busy until i didn’t reali can rest. lol. so tim bought me a big pen with conditions of cos.. and the condition is, i’m suppose to be happy and cannot be sad.. bcos i lost mine. and tong lei came to the outlet!! =] long time nvr see her already.. kinda miss our “i like~”… haha. i will be sending her off on sat nite bcos she’s going to perth for a week.. yay~ i love going to airport to send ppl off.. =P yup.. so i dragged damien out to acc me for dinner.. lol.. so we went to have my chicken rice.. add rice already still not full.. must be feeling hungry for the whole day.. since i only eat 1 meal.. den i went to help da xiong to da bao rice, the uncle tot i wanna add rice.. almost scare them to death i think. lol. den we went back to the outlet and da xiong gave me my choco, but why? he bluff me ytd nite channel 5 got doraemon and when i went to switch on my tv, it’s germany : italy (0:2) match.. stupid.. got cheated.. and den he send me some funny videos to watch, but some of it i watch it b4 already.. lame videos.. =_= anyways, after that we went to have supper together with missy of cos.. asked gf.. but she say she wants to go hm slp.. but isaac came to the outlet.. most probably is to look for her… oh well.. whatever that makes her happy.. france : portugal ytd and the match was phew~ france won!! the score is 1:0.. even though i didn’t watch.. but i would like france to win.. bcos zidane is more handsome than that c.ronaldo. lol. and he’s skillful.. last world cup game for him.. pity.. oh well, guess i’m going to slp soon cos i’m working morning tml~~~

all the best to da xiong and nana. =) well, i will miss working with them of cos.. suzy is the next one going to Funan Mall with them too.. i’m wondering who is the 4th one.. i think it’s me.. even though wati is not “confirmed” about it.. but everyone is telling me i’m the one.. sigh.. though it’s sad to leave the place.. but maybe i will feel myself happier in another place.. =X after all sometimes i felt i’m neglected somehow in the outlet.. but dun worry, no matter where we will end up, wati, pls note that i’m always on ur side. =]

when my ah ma wake me up today, i almost dun feel like going to work.. but still, i dragged myself up and get a shower and den get out of my hse.. stupid tooty keep disturbing my slp everyday.. =_= anyways, it’s a good start.. or at least i think so.. at least she didn’t give me the cold treatment like she did for the past 1 wk plus.. and she even gave me oreo m/s.. haha… =) it’s my fav~ den suzy came in and took over the bar but she’s going for service excellent mod 3 training with iassc, so i took over her until 8p.m.. suddenly the place was crowded with ppl and i think i managed pretty well (oh, at least let me praise myself.. =X ).. den suzy came back from the training and took over the bar and i start washing and.. i broke the tea plunger.. haha.. and had a small cut on my thumb. and it was bleeding a bit so wati helped me put plaster.. oh well, i din realised i got cut.. cos no pain.. and den after awhile, my finger feels a bit pain. lol. the so-called after effect. anyways, after i time out and look at my hp and realised da xiong actually smsed me at 6plus and i only reply like 2 hours lateR? LOL.. feels a bit retard.. and the whole day, i feel like i’m going to faint. so i replied him bcos he asked me for dinner bcos he OWE me. LOL. trouble me to send all the pics to him thru his email.. btw, i was joking with him only and, he reali treat.. oh well.. so we went to esplanade to eat.. Thai Express.. yuMMy~ long time no eat~ and den we sat there until almost 10p.m den we went to the roof terrence to see the “beautiful sencery” of marina bay… (c’mon lah, it’s all construction work there.).. sat there chat for another 40 mins or so den we went to catch train… lol.. had all the fun talking with him.. cos he’s simply lame.. oh well.. it’s always gd to have lame ppl ard u to make u happy.. esp, if u r a lamer too. LOL! so, i’m one lamer too. 1 + 1 = 3. =) alright.. i’m reali tired.. so need to go slp~ sigh.. tml is nana’s and da xiong’s last day at RX.. =X gonna miss them.. =[

me & missy~ alright.. taking pics in the toilet. again. LOL
missy & “da xiong“
funny faces. LOL
“da xiong” & me

went to work today and i woke up late.. lucky my ah ma wakes me up before she send my bro down to sch.. otherwise i’m still at hm slpg. lol. the bad thing about not having enough slp.. =X anyways, things happened pretty good today.. and i reached the outlet just in time.. phew.. and i LOST my BIG pen.. it’s so BIG and i still can lost it, i must be too blind.. and i can’t remember where i placed it.. still upset over the losing of my BIG pen. lol. getting too old.. went to have lunch alone and went into the kitchen to disturb. haha.. dunno why today the new cook’s expression is kinda weird.. it’s like he knows abt the teasing thing btwn me & ‘Da xiong“.. =_= lame. so i “OT” 30 mins and i went to acc wati for her break and we had some talk together.. it’s always nice talking to wati though..
it’s missy‘s bday today, so me & “da xiong” went to celebrate her bday with her and her twin sister was there too.. but half way, she went off.. dun ask me why, i dunno the reason and missy was a bit upset. her sister say bcos she isn’t used to go out with strangers.. oh well… but we managed to cheer her up. she say she doesn’t like to go out with her sister alone bcos her sis is always sms-ing her bf and she felt invisible.. well, understandable. =] so we went to play bowling.. after a game, we went to play pool and after that we went to play daytona. lOL! we are actually filled with so many activities.. whatever thing just to make missy happy. =) it was her 1st time playing bowling and pool actually.. and we had so much fun playing.. (even though i played all the games in a very lousy way.. but i’m not very lousy in pool! yet, not a pro too. lol. =P ) we keep crapping and i realised how lame “da xiong” can be.. i almost can kill him bcos of his stupid ‘jokes’. lol. and the whole nite we just kept laughing and of cos i do take some pics.. but not all the time though. =) so we went to have dinner at about 9plus p.m.. so we asked missy wat she feels like having and she says she feels like eating ice cream and so we went to look for swensen’s ard marina sq.. walked till my leg almost break. and we finally found it.. but it closed at 10p.m and the last order is at 9.30p.m.. so we decided to change the venue to the swensen’s besides heeren so we can spend more time crapping. =] so me & “da xiong” treats missy dinner bcos we didn’t buy any present for her.. hopes she enjoys it though.. =) and den i managed to catch the LAST TRAIN home.. phew.. and of cos i’m always the last one to reach hm. lol~ nothing’s new.. actually, i asked gf along.. but she say no.. and i can’t force her.. so.. nvm.. i’ll just respect her decision too. (btw, realised how short missy‘s tongue is? i din realised till she told us!!).. i’m sure we all had fun. =P
missy + me + da xiong, we are in the bus. =]

tim hasn’t talk to me regarding whatever he wants to say to me. and this is making me nervous.. whatever it is, i have already make some mental preparation.. haha…… there is 3 full time who will be transferring away from RX to other new outlet which will be opening(funan) & reopening(bugis) soon.. and i know the 1st two and i dunno the last one. and there isn’t alot of full time to guess. =] work was a bit boring and i just can’t wait to get the hell out of there… well, and den missy dropped by the outlet and was in time to acc me to eat my “lunch”.. sue went back home bcos she is on MC.. poor thing. have nothing much to say, bcos it defeats the purpose of writing in my own blog. had a funny time talking to missy.. talked about how fang chew asked her what she wants for present and suddenly he bcomes da xiong and i becum yi jing. =_= where is our xiao ding dang? LOL! anyways, we will be going out with celebrate missy‘s bday with her tml. =] can’t wait. and wati again say “couple cannot stay in the same outlet” kinda sentence.. =_= which makes it even more lame.. i knew she will say it anyways, bcos nana said it. =.= and wati say make some preparations.. bcos, i might be the one leaving.. oh well.. it might be a good idea too.

well, sometimes it’s hard to think about the problems that u are facing now and realised u have noone to turn to. but then at the same time, u know someone out there still cares for u. and at the same time, the person u once closed with, insisted that u wouldn’t change. and the fact that she was once my good friend, and she say something lidat.. i was hurt.. the fact that she says i dun give, hurts me too. everyone keeps telling me, i always push ppl who cares abt me away and in a way, i hurt them. but.. think about it.. who reali cares about what i am thinking man? the world still operates with or w/o certain ppl.. my life, whoever importants will stay, whoever not will leave. in this case, friends is imp to me.. although sometimes i make mistake.. but remembering it and not to repeat it again is more imp than keep reprimanding the person and not willing to forgive. so ppl, tell me the defination of “good friends” and “friends” and perhaps even “stranger”. so that i will have a better understanding. and of cos, at this point of time whereby we aren’t talking to each other, might be a good thing too. and if i were to even think if she ever “forgives” me for that one mistake, i seriously can go dreaming. when was the last time she asked me out? when was the last time she actually chat with me? when was the last time she actually ask how i feel? when was the last time she went out with me? all she did was to treat me as if i’m invisible and i did the same thing to her too. all i wanted was a listening ear and not someone who will let me throw my problems onto and ask her to help me solve. i always feel better talking out.. that’s why i love talking to amy. she always listens.. well, i shdn’t be so stupid in the 1st place. life still have to go on. and i’m still alive. which i seriously hate the fact that i’m still alive.. but i’m too afraid to die too. contridictions. trying hard to believe – live ur life to the fullest.. how full can i live mine? haha. a very tough qns to even ans it myself. well, sometimes it takes more than just a courage to talk to someone. it does. so i’m storing my courage, so i can approach that certain someone. sigh.

ytd was working and closed bar.. and i have got so many things to do.. but i still managed to close on time with missy‘s help.. =] after that me, damien & missy went to clarke quay to eat.. after we reached there and realised, everyone else doesn’t wanna eat and my plan was smashed into pieces. =_= den we went straight to town bcos we wanted to watch superman (or shd i say it’s damien? we wanted to watch cars.. but the cinema only have for the morning session.. =_- spoiler.) we went to p.s to buy our tickets and “good” enough, our seats is the 2nd row right side from the front. and my eyes was so tired till i closed my eyes and tears flow out. =X the guy is pretty handsome but i like spiderman better.. =X anyways, when we come out of the cinema, we went to watch england:portugal (0:0) while missy went back hm.. and it was half time so we hang around.. and the match starts.. the thing is, during the 2nd half, beckham was injured and rooney was sent off with a red card after pushing his opponent.. and they have extra time (30 mins) and there isn’t any goals.. so their game was determined by penalty shoots.. and portugal won!! damien was quite sad though.. cheer up.. it’s only a game. den me & fang chew went to eat at cineleisure (LJS) while damien & his bro went home.. den we went to level 9 to watch brazil:france (0:1).. the game was pretty interesting. and entertaining of cos.. was feeling sad that brazil lost to france but in a game, there is always winner and loser.. if everyone is a winner, den who is the loser? always learn from the mistakes.. den we went to sit outside taka and stone for awhile and den we start chit chatting.. talked about jiayong‘s behaviour.. well, of cos i still reserved my opinion about him even though he can guess what kind of person i am. the strange thing is, jiayong asked me if i wanna go to his good fren’s bday chalet this coming sat.. and i somehow rejected him bcos my elder sis is gonna bring my family out for dinner. even i don’t have this as an excuse, i also dun even think i wanna go. i don’t even know his frens. and pat is going. and, i’m not that close with him till the extend that i shd go to his fren’s bday chalet. so we stay there and wait for morning train and fang chew “send” me home (to boon lay).. to give me a feeling of letting me reach home earlier than him. LOL. and so i treat him mac breakfast. den we went separated ways. and i’m thankful that he kept me accompany.. sigh..

woke up at about 3p.m and den amy called me today.. so i went to meet up with her.. and sure enough i was late.. feeling so bad. =[ so we went to TCC (atrium) to have dinner bcos i haven’t had chicken wings for a long time.. and i was lucky, the soup of the day happens to be chilli beef soup.. and it’s yummy.. so me & amy shared O.B marinated chicken & chicken wings, after that we just sit there and chill for a little while more and den we went shopping. i’m in luck, caught this pair of heels and rather cheap (renoma paris).. so i bought it and it’s pretty.. shall wear it when i’m quite vain.. haha.. den i oso bought the l’oreal toner which my mum tot is an empty bottle. =_= i almost flip and die.. reached home today to realised she packed my table and it’s messier bcos i couldn’t find my stuffs.. argh..

i finally have the courage to ask him.. but, he’s not free bcos he’s working till wee hours this wk and due to not enough staffs, thus he has no off day.. =[ oh well, i can understand. not that i don’t.. work is work after all. there is always a next time. maybe i should just wait till he’s free and willing to ask me out den i feel better.. haha.. maybe i will have to wait till my hair turns white or take amy‘s advise to dye it white? lame i know. maybe i shd just go and dream in my lala land hoping for the better. =] shall not put much hope in this frenship thingy and of cos i’m not thinking anything beyond normal frenship.. otherwise i will be disappointed.. just like i’m upset with certain someone’s reply ytd nite..

why did she choose to sms me when i was trying to keep myself happy and not to think about the things between her & me since things have came to this point when i was feeling sad & guilty for the past 1 wk after her bday celebrateion?? her 1st sms was “i wanted u to stand on ur own feet this time. i wanted u to stop behaving like a child n handle thinfs better. i wanted u to get used to the hardship. n be someone u can be proud of.”… when i show this sms, immediately, the happiness in my heart that i was trying to keep just gone within seconds. and i’m tired as well. i tried to take initiative to talk to her. keep apologising. but she refused to forgive me because she insisted on i will do the same thing again. and den what can i say? i WERE her closest fren.. and to realise, my CLOSEST fren was quite tired of me talking about my “bf” problems which was the thing that bothers me the most.. i was… i feel hopeless. when i was coughing so hard, i didn’t see her bother to ask me am i ok.. she was busy talking to iaasc all the time. at this point of time, i reali feel upset and i do have the urgue to cry and i did cry ytd nite. why can’t she think in my shoes? if she were me, what she will do? confused too? nevermind about that. she couldn’t forgive me, den there is nothing for us to talk about in the future. and everything ends here. if u think everything from the beginning is my fault, den please dun bother to talk to me. i can sense my invisiblity in RX. i don’t like to face u, not able to talk to u and joke to u like the past. in another words, i don’t like to see u when u r so near yet so far. u just dun understand. u don’t.

i have nvr expect someone who knows me better will be someone whom i used to think he doesn’t like me. i had nvr expect that. people walked in and out of my life.. people left their footprints in my life.. people gave me permanent hurts.. i gave hurts in return.. but nvr did i expect someone who knows me better will be someone from the kitchen.. and that someone is jiayong.. life is kinda strange.. out of a sudden, he talked to me.. out of a sudden, he came disturbing me.. out of a sudden he cooked food and got my share.. out of a sudden he asked me out for a drink.. and out of sudden, he’s the one who understands my inner feeling now.. why is he the one who can sense my feeling and not certain someone.. talking to him makes me wanna cry but i controlled.. i hate to show ppl that i’m a cry baby.. talked about certain stuffs that has been bothering me.. and he gave me advises.. and when he can tell me what kind of person i am.. i’m reali shocked.. was sitting at the singapore river there drinking while i had my burger.. and talking about some stuffs.. and it came to my mind that, i’m subborn in certain ways.. and, i gave up easily.. guess i drink my drink too fast and i vomitted.. *yucks* but i feel good after vomitting my MCspicy burger. =_= i feel good after that puke.. i do.. i have my regrets.. but jiayong has his point rite too.. the things that he said certainly made some sense to me.. and it’s time i shd take a long term break from something call “relationship & frenship“.. all the “ships” are actually driving me crazy. all i hope was, my frenship will last with everyone.. if she doesn’t want this “frenship” anymore.. she could have told me straight.. sometimes, i reali couldn’t face her anymore and den i will have the urgue to transfer to another outlet in order not to face her.. but it sounds silly… or facing her and not talking to me and feel that i’m invisible, makes me feel sad.. reali.. i do.. feel sad.. the end of whatever i wanna say.. bcos i’m slpy already.. i hate the way things is.. but the road out there is not always straight. good frens are forever.. at least i do believe that. that’s why i love my sec sch frens.. bcos, they forgive & forget my mistakes.. and i’m reali thankful.. even though i dun always get to see them.. but at least i think everyone rems each other.. that’s the most imp of all.. =] i miss u guys.. i seriously do.

alright. today was the “supposedly the 2nd day of orientation”.. but me & suzy doesn’t have to go! haha. so i start work at 10a.m today.. worked lunch after a “very long” period of time. haha. was stationed in station 3.. and the crowd was pretty alright. not very busy though.. had fun playing around chatting and stuffs. but i find it offended when erin actually say ” i shd count on iaasc first before counting on u”.. she said she wants to train iaasc to do lunch bar 1st before “training” me to do lunch bar. fuck, i hate ppl to look down on my abilities. and this is not the 1st time erin say this to me. when nana asked me to do planning for break time, she said the same damn thing too.. argh.. tell me, what’s so great abt that? always say depend on him and not on us first.. just bcos we used to be part time who worked like a full time doesn’t mean we are not as experience as him. duh. why does she has to say things lidat? dun understand and dun wish to. lame. so was chatting with nana & missy when mike came out of the kitchen and informed us who’s transferring out of RX in the kitchen.. and that person is……… fang chew a.k.a lin xiao di. so he will be transferred along with nana. oh well. kinda expected and i felt happy for him too. good opportunity for him to show his capabilities.. good opportunity to get promoted.. and of cos he felt sad to hear that news. missy told me he’s sad.. wati told me he’s sad.. oh well, nothing last forever. i even have preparation in case the next one transferring to funan is me.. and den mike was like shaking his head when he looked at me and i was like “how come u shaking ur head?”, den he said “bcos i feel sad for u lah”.. get what he means? lol. lame. even nana tease me by saying “see ur ‘bf’ transferring bcos couple cannot be in the same outlet.”.. lol. even damien told me he’s transferring.. everyone tells me the same thing. i know already lah.

after work, i went to meet fang chew bcos he promised to acc me go buy my working shoes.. and i can see that he was pretty unhappy. when i asked him, he say not unhappy… well, he’s that kind of person who doesn’t spell out his unhappiness.. so i crap with him like i usually does, trying to make him happy even though he say he’s not unhappy.. we walked ard bugis trying to find the shoes that i like but in vain.. and i happened to saw jas with his gf in b.k and we are outside.. so kinda just walk pass them. den me and fang chew walked all the way from bugis to suntec to look for Bata shop to buy my shoes.. and i finally bought one.. not expensive though.. not very auntie though.. haha… but i would prefer the exp one ($45) in terms of look. but i bought the not very pretty one ($25) in terms of comfort. =] and den fang chew reminds me of the qns i asked him on wed nite when he acc me to look for shoes.. well, the logic applies. =] den i treat him dinner at nest delight (if i nvr rem wrongly), den ice cream at gelare.. =] bcos he, somehow, refused to take my money for ytd’s dinner. and den we went home. so nice of him to help me carry my shoes today and my bag ytd. LOL! of cos have to treat him while i still have money to do so.. muahaha. he told me that this afternoon he doesn’t even have the appetite to eat his lunch today so he ate 2 bowls of rice just now.. lol. looks like some kind of hungry ghost and my prawn noodle is too salty until i almost puke. yucks. and after ice cream, we went home bcos he’s working morning.

well, at least now he said he’s feeling better.. he can always ask us out when he finish work early or whatsoever de mah. no worries.

nothing is impossible. to make ur mark, get out of ur “secure home”.