Listen to my heart beat

i swear i’ll never reply any of his smses.

I deleted all his pictures in my Facebook. So you still find any, please let me know.

I was chatting with Wei Kang earlier on, and like any other people, he thought TY is my boyfriend. Not surprising. He’s not the first. So I deleted photos taken with him and that I have uploaded previously as my profile picture in my Facebook. But I did not delete the previous albums because that would be too troublesome. But I did delete the photos I took with Nicholas. Oh well… TY is right, I will never add him back. Because he say by deleting him in Facebook is a grave mistake. Oh well. I have to accept his attitude towards me. So I will refrain myself from thinking about him and contact him. Today is Day 1.

I am going to watch Harry Potter tomorrow with Cacca!

No doubt.

Judging from my character, you know what I am going to say. I regretted. But, I shall look forward and never look back. I can’t ‘undo‘ delete can I?

I was crying alone at one corner hoping noone will notice and good enough, no one did.

You must be wondering what have I done that makes me so sad? Read on.

I deleted TY from my FB, MSN and HP contacts. Don’t ask me WHY. I just did it after he told me:

“I don’t know if I am going out with my friend, or going for Malaysia trip or NDP trip on Saturday. If not I can acc you. And if my parents are not singing on Sunday, then I am free.”

That was his plans after forcing me go choose this Saturday (when I gave him a choice to choose either this weekend or next weekend) after my work to go Science Center. Oh well. This reminds me so much of that someone I loath the most when it comes to date him out. I hate it. Really. It was supposed to be a simple question: “Will you be going out with me?”, the latter must think about whether his friends will ask him out, if not then he will decide to meet me. Else, if he decided to go out with friends at the very last minute, very often he said: “I don’t believe you can’t find anyone to go out with.”. When I tried to date him for his birthday, he would say:”See how first, maybe I will date XXX out.” Ok, fine. I mean, you could have told me directly, “Going out with you is really boring.” and then I will stop!

Another loathsome thing is that, I love mango with sago from Ji De Chi (Jurong Point) and most of the time I will visit that place for dessert after my meals. TY would always comment that the dessert there sucks, and I should try the one in H.K. Ok, FINE, I will migrate to H.K tomorrow just for the mango with sago. He would comment about what is so bad about me, but never the good things. Did he noticed who told him the GREAT DEAL at Jurong SAFRA Kbox? If it’s not for me, could he enjoy the $10 nett singing session? No, I doubt so. So after that, his friends flock all the from the east to Jurong SAFRA to enjoy the $10 nett KBOX. Wooohoooo!

I am feeling so tiny on this planet sometimes, I even doubted my existence. Really. People don’t notice me. When something happens, I became from bad to worse. He’s right, I can’t treat him the way I treat that man. That’s because I have had enough of the lies told by the men. Enough. What do you mean by, “even if we love each other, it doesn’t mean that we have to be together”? I love you, I like you, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU! This is such a simple matter, but I waited or he claimed he waited for me for 9 months?

If you asked me, I will tell you directly that “YES, I LIKE KTY.” But if you were to ask him, he probably will give you all sorts of answers like “Me like her? Cannot be lah”, or “she’s just my scandal you don’t know meh?”. I have NEVER like the word – S C A N D A L. I think it’s just a word used to insult my existence in this guy’s life. He told me that if this girl have known him earlier, most probably she would have fall in love with him. Great! He told me that in my house and I almost want to kick him out. I don’t need a cassanova in my life. I just need someone to love me.

I wish to delete him just like I deleted Nicholas or even that man. But I know it will take me some time to get over it. Even though I was the one who did that. He said I am the most selfish person on earth, because I did not take his feelings into consideration with all the things I did. I tried, but I realized, I don’t know this man anymore. He doesn’t want to give me the thing I desire, but he’s asking more from me. How is it fair? Not fair. It’s never fair. I tried to give in, be the girl he likes, but I aint big boobs hot babes.

This time round, I am determine to get out of this shit.

I deleted and block him everywhere.

This is the end of our ‘story’.

And, he will stay away from me forever.

From Drop Box

Arene brought Bao Bao to work on Wednesday, and he’s the Facilities mascot. Hahaha. Played with him for awhile before heading off to Cityhall to meet up with Su ming and Jordan! Our long awaited meet up, finally!

From Drop Box

I am not going to write a lot. But what the ladies advise me, really make sense. If a person loves me, he won’t claim he’s waiting for me or me waiting for him for the past 9 months. I woke up from my nap, feeling it’s really a waste of my time waiting for something that’s not gonna happen. I decided, I am not going to sit back and continue this. It’s really a long wait you know. My strength and energy is being drained away now. I told him to stay away from me. Stop lying to me.

Went to watch “Obsessed” with TY at Jurong Point last night. I thought it would be an interesting show with Ali Larter (from HEROES).

And guess what? I am too lazy to type what’s the movie about, you can actually google it alrights? Haha. Nonetheless, thumbs up for Ali Larter’s character in this movie. Which I think she’s really good at it.

After that I head home because I have to work today. =[

It’s the launching of the iPhone 3GS at the Com Center (Singtel) yesterday evening! I am still so tempted to get one soon you know. But I have to wait til I complete at least 21 months of the contract else I have to pay extra $100.

I just don’t understand why Singtel are selling the iPhone at a cheaper price but they are charging $600 if you just completed 6 months of the contract, at the same time you are re-newing your plan for another 24 months. I mean, even if you re-new your plan after completing 12 months contract, you just need to top up another $100 to get a new phone. But, topping up $600 is simply ridiculous!

$600 + Price of the iPhone – Trade in iPhone ($300/$400) = Expensive.

My sister uses iFlexi Value for her iPhone.

$600 + $288 – $400 = $488.

Which I don’t think it’s worth it. So people might as well wait for another 6 months to top up another $100 to get the new iPhone 3GS. After all, once you upgraded the iPhone 3G firmware to 3.0, it’s more or less similar. Just that the 2nd generation iPhone cannot take video, 2MP cam and no auto focus. You shd know that companies will always come up with new technologies so that we will spend more to get these when we don’t really need it. Haha. Just like Google is coming up with their own OS to fight with Microsoft (BillGates) who dominates the global with his Windows for so many decades. Well, there is always an improvement for something. Perhaps the next generation iPhone features flash? LOL.

Oh well, I am SOOOOOOO getting the iPhone in August!

It’s Magdalene Chin‘s birthday tomorrow, so Arene decided that we have to celebrate her birthday today because she will be on leave tomorrow. So Arene, Jeremy and I went to TBP to buy her birthday cake (2 * 1KG Durian Cake) and some materials to make a card for her since 26 of us are sharing. =]

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And of course, this is the hard work of me and Sim Hoon.

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From Drop Box

And Joan managed to get to her the Anthony‘s ex office so that we can throw her the surprise. And she just kept saying it’s not her birthday. Hahaha. And she’s our BIG boss. SVP.

From Drop Box

From Drop Box

From Drop Box

Alright, that’s all for now. Because the room was so cramped with people and it’s hard for me to move around to take pictures, so these are all the pictures I took. =] Better than none. AND!! I love durian CAKE! hahaha~~

Feeling so sick for the past few days. Gosh! And I took some medicine on Friday night to make myself feel better and went to bed feeling drowsy. And the medicine works like wonder! I woke up on Saturday afternoon feeling so much better! No more block nose but I still sounded weird. And I have to call Shadinah early in the morning to swop shift with her because I was so drowsy and having headache in the morning. Feeling so bad.

After resting for so long, and feel so much better, I head out to watch movie. So I went to watch Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs at iluma (the new shopping centre @ Bugis). Wanted to watch at Marina Sq but they only left the 1st row for the 3D. Sigh, and I really don’t enjoy watching movie sitting so front. Wanted to ask TY if he wants to watch.. but he went out with his friends on Friday.. and Saturday I have to meet Rebecca and co for singing session. And the singing session was a crazy one. Because Yuan Wen happened to be in the room next to mine! Oh gosh. When I went singing with TY last Friday, ZY‘s room was just beside mine! Haha. What a coincident!

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I feel really bad for letting TY to wait for me for 2 hours. Really so guilty. Mis-communication I would say. I was very shocked when he told me he’s waiting for me at the void deck near my place. Gosh. And, I was so tired to stay at the noisy pub to sing. I never like to sing at the pub because of the waiting time. Pub = Chill. Singing = Kbox/Partyworld.

And today, I meet Melvin to JP for dinner. =] Went to THAIEXPRESS to makan because it’s been awhile since I went there. Haha!

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I know, I just recover and I am eating all the junk food. I don’t care! =X And then TY came to JP to meet me for awhile before heading back to SAFRA to meet Alvin and WeiXiong for L4D.

And, I know I have not post up the pictures I took during my colleague’s wedding. I promise, I will post up soon. Too many pictures to choose from. =]

Perhaps when you are so used to someone, you will tend to forget about the goodness of that person until certain things happened. I am really grateful that he was always with me no matter what happens. And I know even if I tried so hard to piss him off, he will still be by my side. So, instead of running away, I am going to resolve this whole thing. Hopefully. When I was going thru those things I wrote, it’s filled with past memories how we always end up quarreling over the same thing, resolved and things happen, we quarrel again. Indeed. The whole process is really tiring. That’s because humans are born selfish. We are not self-less. I am a human, there are things I don’t know but I am still learning. Please forgive me if I have been really nasty to you during the recent days/weeks or even months. I know what I did was hurtful. I repent and learn from it. Please pardon me. I will TRY MY BEST TO be nice to everyone again.

Went to watch Transformers : Revenge of the Fallen last Saturday. Finally, was looking forward to this movie until I kept bugging TY if he wants to watch it the moment the theater is showing. Apparently not, TY wants to watch it during the weekend and I felt a little disappointed. Nevermind, because I did watch the movie and it’s free. So why not? Ha. The movie is really good but not fantastic of course. And Megan Fox is really hot. Look at her… when she runs, her boobs goes up and down. Hahaha. Ok, it looks like I have concentrated on the wrong place but, I love big boobs because I DON’T HAVE. Sigh. That’s why I aint hot and I am only ‘CUTE’ in the eyes of the beholder. This is something that I live in regret with.

Anyways after the movie, Alvin took us to East Coast Lagoon Food Centre for dinner. And I regret offering my service to order food for them. Really. How would I know what they want to eat and what’s not? So I ordered 2 veg (which they complain that they feel like they are eating vegetarian), 10 chicken wings, 12 satays (mutton, chicken and pork) and sting ray. Alvin went on to order or jian. And I was feeling tired because I went to bed at 5a.m on Friday and waking up at 12noon for the movie which starts at 4.30p.m. After dinner, we went to Jurong SAFRA for a game of pool. Which by then I was too tired to concentrate liao. I should have gone back home first but if I were to do that, he will just think I am creating problem for him.

TY said I was disrespecting his friends. Giving them attitude and stuffs like that. Whatever. The more I try to explain myself, the worse it will be. I even feel like there is NO HOPE for us liao. I am just wasting my time on him. Seriously, i don’t feel good when people keep scolding me “YOU ARE AN IDIOT”. But then it’s ok, because LOVE makes people blind. I failed to see, I failed to hear, I failed to feel. You see, I don’t even feel secure and how am I going to give my partner the secure he wants? I am sorry, but he’s right. I don’t even think I can sacrifice anything for him. So why waste your time waiting for me? I already make myself clear, I am really tired of such conversation. He told me he gotten some tickets for the NDP rehersal this Saturday, but he passed it to WeiXiong on impulsive. He blamed me for going offline suddenly but he failed to see how many times he wrote “nvm, you go slp bah. Gd nite” to me before I say “gd night” to him and went offline. He say I do not have the basic courtesy. I have had enough of this already. Please kindly leave me alone.

I really don’t know what Robin wants from me too. He wants me to care for him and blah blah blah. Temporary girlfriend? WTF is that?

From Drop Box