Parenting with Grace

Finally went to the church after a few weeks of absents (doing my assignments). First, we are overwhelmed by the numbers of youths we saw at the service. And then they announced it’s YOUTH DAY! And YOUTH is between 13 – 29 years old. I am still a youth. FOREVER YOUNG.

Alright, craps aside. And this month, it is coincide with racial harmony day. Everyone of us was given an orange ribbon to put on, reminding us about racial harmony. Racial harmony doesn’t come without price ok? Start treating other race well.

Yesterday’s message is about “Parenting with Grace“. It was a sermon by Pastor Prince a few years ago. Initially, I thought this sermon has got nothing to do with me, because I am not in the parenting stage yet. While listening to the sermon, I felt that this doesn’t applies only to parent-to-be, it can be applied on any one. Yes, I mean ANY ONE. Whether it’s young or old, man or woman, malay, chinese or indian. it’s regardless of age, races and sex.

The main topic is, listening with grace. Pastor is right. It never came across to us that we might hurt that someone with the things that comes out from our mouth directly. Whether with intention or not.

Listening with grace means to feel how the person feel.

Pastor Prince gave a few examples using his daughter.

Jessica (Pastor Prince’s daughter): Daddy, I feel so angry!
Daddy: Jessica! You shouldn’t feel angry! You are God’s child, you should forgive and forget.

Many a times, we come straight into the point without realizing that the little children wants their feelings to be acknowledged by the adult. Whenever we said things like that, the children stopped talking, because

they felt that we don’t understand how they feel.

So, if you listen with grace,

Jessica: Daddy, I feel so angry!
Daddy: Oh boy, my dear, you do sound so angry. Tell me what happen or who made you angry?
Jessica: (telling the dad what happened)

It’s a totally different feel. This makes the daughter wants to talk to the daddy.

See, different feelings right? The first one stops you from talking to the person, the second one keeps you talking to the person.

Talking to Dearest is really frustrating. Rather, talking to guys frustrates me.

I was reminding him to TAILOR his shirt since he has been talking about donkey years that he wants to tailor one and since our ROM date is getting nearer and nearer each day. He thinks I am rushing him to tailor. Then he said, “it’s not necessary for me to TAILOR the shirt, I can just buy off RACK as well”. FINE. Who was the one who went into Zara all the times and look at the same shirt saying the same thing? Not me ok? He always say TAILOR shirt will be cheaper than going to Zara and buy. He said he likes Zara, but it’s a little expensive. Damnit. Can you buy a branded that’s cheap and still got quality? I say it’s just too hard to please him.

Next, I was talking about the Gelare ice cream waffle which I had not eaten for ages. Read again, I say GELARE. You know what he told me? He said: “Like this huh? You can go opposite Tiong Bahru Plaza bread shop and buy a waffle and eat.”. This leaves me totally speechless. Seriously.
a) you can just listen to it.
b) suggest to have some ice cream there
c) think again before speaking
He did none of the above. And I am not even talking about OTHER WAFFLES. I am talking about GELARE ICE CREAM WAFFLE. He can tell me to go TIONG BAHRU and buy when we were at SUNTEC. Really fuck up.

What makes the whole conversation even worse was,

HE TOLD ME SHOPPING NEEDS PLANNING.

No people, you didn’t read wrongly. HE told me this! He walked past Giodano, and saw that the Bermudas are on sale (U.P for one is $39, but if you buy min 2 pcs it’s $33), he asked if he should buy. So I told him “if you don’t buy today, you would buy it someday… so why not buy it today?” Then he say, why am I always rushing him to do something. I feel something for myself. I empathize myself for being in such situation whenever I am just reminding him. Then he says, whatever he says, it’s not necessary for him to execute it. What does he mean by SHOPPING NEEDS PLANNING huh? Do you understand? I don’t. He used buying a car (vs buying Bermudas) as an example. C’mon lah, how much is one car? And how much can a bermudas cost? Bloody hell. It just makes my blood boils.

And then I told him about the B.C (Bonitochico) warehouse sale, and I want to do. He didn’t reply me on this. So when I say I want to shop for some clothes because I don’t know what I should wear for Martin’s wedding. He say just get something and wear will do. I say I wanna look chio chio (pretty) that night, then he say I am not even the bride so chio (pretty) for what? Wanting to be chio (pretty) doesn’t mean I can only pretty during my OWN wedding, it’s woman’s nature wanting to look chio (pretty). And I feel super sian after that.

We went to attend Marriage Seminar on Saturday. I think it’s pretty good because it gives you a rough idea what you will be getting in marriage. Sometimes when I had such conversation with Dearest, I seriously felt that I cannot converse with him at all. And sometimes, the things he said really hurts me.

******

I was talking about GERMANY and ARGENTINA PLAYERS during lunch time. I commented that the Germans looks like giant and the Argentina’s player looks so short beside them. G.K says, Argentina players are taller than ME and they are consider tall compared to asians. Germans are like at least 1.9m tall. Ok, since when I am in the picture? So he say, “Ok, I don’t want to argue with you”. But the thing is, I am not talking about ME, GERMANY AND ARGENTINA. I am talking about GERMANY and ARGENTINA. Why am I in the picture?

World Cup. Saturday match:

Argentina : Germany

0 : 4

Germany won! It’s really a good game.

Paraguay : Spain

0 : 1

Spain.. do you think they can get into FINALS?