hmm. let me think if i have anything interesting to update.. apparently, there is nothing.. was helping wati~~~ to do some head count for this sat BBQ. =) sigh.. made 2 screw up today.. but that was after lunch so i wasn’t very guilty. haha.. so i have to ask sue help m void transaction bcos i forget to press whether it’s visa or mastercard.. 1 of the screw up amin keep bugging me for the 10 bucks! duh.. sigh…………………………………………………………………………………………………….. i don’t wish to keep repeating my words. cos it’s a very tiring chore.. can someone HELP me? duh.

sue made my day by making me laugh.. even it’s for awhile.. she said something like “not having here which is take away”.. couldnt rem exactly what she said but it was something lidat.. and it makes me laugh. =) had my fac chicken rice before i start work today and it was raining so heavily that i have to borrow umbrella from TCC so i wouldnt get wet. and today is the start of the new menu! yay~ hahaha. and the menu is pretty but BIG.. sigh.. and i will have to start this wk to try out doing hosting.. bleah.. even the new part timer (changing to full time issac) has already did hosting.. duh.. anyways, we had a new staff called siti but i hasnt talk to her yet.. so i didnt even know whether she’s full or part time. lol.. but the look at her face tells me maybe she’s a part timer. =) i keep telling myself life is good and den it will be good. hahaha. what am i talking about? i have no idea.. i need to sleep now.. still gotta work tml. =)

his words and his words is bullshit. the whole nite couldn’t slp and was sms-ing and i realised the reason was maybe he has change his heart. the nick i saw previously was “mel mel…=)” and if mel is the one who told his ex our break up, will he still =) to her? contradicting. everything doesnt work well for me and i definately not gonne live in the past too. in the past, piggy will nvr say nasty things to me nor he will smoke. today, piggy say nasty things to me and he smokes. the different is so big. and he say i were to spare tots for others. each time we quarrelled, i have been patience to him first before i actually explode. ah, but everything i did was actually not good for the others. and everything he does is good. he spares thoughts for others but nvr me. he talk to ppl nicely, but not me. he always explode on me for nothing but never on others. tell me, how the past me can come back? where is the innocent and stupid girl i once was? i’m still so stupid now.. but am i innocent? only god knows. for one thing i know is that, i could nvr be the past me.

ah, is this my final decision for everything? for duckie & him. duckie tell me to take off everything that has our pics from my frenster blah.. he told me to change everything.. yes, maybe i will because there isnt any point now. he was late for 40 mins today and didn’t even bother to say sorry when i showed him my unhappiness. he shd at least inform me that he will be late so i dun have to go out so early and wait for him like some kind of alien standing there and everyone who walked past me looked at me. duh. den we took a bus to town and…. we sat at taka, stand at taka cont the quarrel that lasted for weeks.. couldnt stand anymore, he throw his hp after awhile he pick it back. while i just sit there speechless and after a few moments i just cried… he wants to bring me to have dinner but i refused. i went to look for him to get back my stuffs… and the one ended up accompany me is yujie… i went to eat xiao wan mian alone at JP.. after a few mins i have finished my noodle, he reach.. i waited for him for half an hr.. but at least he told me in advance that he was caught with something imp.. den i acc him to eat his dinner at KFC while i just drink water and saw eng biao & his another fren whom i don’t know.. crap for awhile and den i cont to chat with yujie.. told him about everything.. and of cos i’m so kpo.. i asked him how is his progress with that girl.. to my surprise… their progress was.. WOW.. haha.. but still, from what yujie say was, that girl only like him and she love another guy.. hmmmm.. but at least yujie took the first step! hahaha.. whether that girl will choose him or not is another thing.

he smsed me, telling me he still so in love with the past me… he was, in fact, during the past few days trying to see whether do i still love him like before.. and he still thinking of wanting to patch up with me.. these few mths, i wasnt very happy with the things happening around me. 1st is my hp bill which cost about $125.. bcos of the stupid auto roam plus, 2300 smses.. damn.. tell me.. how am i suppose to pay? den i have to juggle btween my emotions because of the r/s and my work.. simply bcos i don’t not wish to affect anyone. and den, my bank left 10 bucks.. and my wallet left 15 bucks.. i’m so pathetic.. i only have enough money to top up my ez link card.. and den i have to go on diet so i dun have to spend so much money on eating.. maybe that explains why i’m getting thinner and lighter even though i eat so much… sigh.. i feel each time after a break up, i am not me anymore.. i tended to get from bad to worse or even more worse.. my attitude to certain someone will change time after time.. i was so patience with duckie but he did not realise. i could have just break off with him for the 1st time he mentioned it.. and the worse part is duckie say, 我不把他放在眼里。if i nvr did, i wouldnt stay with him for long and despite him saying break up for so many times and i’m still around him. but each time we meet we just go off unhappily. what’s the point of meeting? to get more anger? frustration came in. no one understands me at all.. i’m upset.. but who can cheer me up? even he said he couldnt cheer me up.. i wish i’m happier.. at least i thought i am..

read wati‘s blog and she feels sad… but den i can’t do anything to make her feel better can i? i can’t go and ask her bcos i had nvr ask her things lidat b4.. and it would be very sudden for me to do things lidat.. anyways, tong lei‘s leaving TCC.. sigh.. good things doesnt last forever.. seriously, i’m upset that everyone has to go and probably, the next one will be me. ='( but den again, no one will ever realise my presence anyways.. whether i’m there or not doesnt make any differences. i have been caught in between duckie and his patch up thingy. but, i wun patch up with him now.. no matter what he’s going to say.. been hurt enough by his umpteen times of break ups. 4 times is alot. keep breaking promises.. and he even say he pity duckie because, because of me, duckie has no frens… he said duckie was like him.. frenless when he was with me.. and den he carried on saying he pitied himself too. think about it… who suffered the most? everyone of us.. for different reasons and reason that ownself believes in.. i believed i was hurt by both of them too and who pitys me? actually, no one.. but i need no one’s pity.